


Lost Shepherd

by Gabby (Kirahsoka)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst that Demands a Happy Ending, BAMF Barriss, Eventual BAMF Ahsoka, F/F, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Foolishness, POV Ahsoka Tano, PTSD, Warnings in Beginning Note, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 76,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26435533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirahsoka/pseuds/Gabby
Summary: A revolution forces Ahsoka Tano on the run with an elite mercenary, who both fascinates and frustrates her. Now facing a reality she no longer understands, Ahsoka must learn how to move forward. Former Jedi Barriss Offee has lost faith in many things she once held dear. However, escaping who she was proves difficult when her newest job becomes personal.What if...Ahsoka hadn’t been raised as a Jedi? Barriss took a different approach in her efforts to end the war? The Jedi managed to defeat Palpatine yet still missed the point? Gabby watched one too many documentaries about Anastasia?This AU uses the canon universe setting & characters, but I do play liberally in the sandbox.
Relationships: Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 466
Kudos: 109





	1. Revolution

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: If you aren’t sensitive to content one might find in warnings, skip this note. By definition, a content warning means *ahem* warning you about certain plot points. Usually, such spoilers have little impact. In this case, it involves revealing details I’d rather not but am anyway. 🙃
> 
> _This story explores adult themes. Explicit consensual sex occurs. While not overly graphic, violence is prevalent. Most importantly, there is a scene that includes physical assault, unwanted fondling/rubbing, and implied threat of rape. Everyone is clothed, but it’s fairly intense and a lingering trauma for the character. Despite now sounding otherwise, this story is actually a hopeful one._

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins...

“No.”

Ahsoka ground her teeth. “But if we circle around, maybe there’s another—”

“No.” Her taciturn companion continued surveying the revolutionaries guarding a city checkpoint.

They had been like this for ten minutes, and she was going over the edge. “We can’t hide behind a stack of crates forever.”

Sharp eyes flicked across the space for what had to be the hundredth time. “We will be here longer if you keep disrupting my concentration.”

“My apologies. Please, don’t let me interrupt the riveting sight of armed civilians pacing in circles.”

There was no response, so Ahsoka provided one for the woman. _‘Your input has been noted, Princess. Now, shut up and wait for me to save your life.’_

Continuing her imagined conversation, Ahsoka replied, _‘If I do, will you stop acting like I’m a useless child forced upon you?’_

_‘No.’_

Giving up her nonsense monologue, Ahsoka slumped against the building behind them. Her mind soon drifted into places she didn’t want it to go. Her father’s hugs, her mother’s kisses, her sister’s laugh, her brother’s smirk, her niece’s giggles, her grandfather’s voice, her uncle’s smile, even her tart aunt’s scowl—all things she would never have again.

Pulling knees to her chest, she tucked her face into them. Ahsoka Tano wanted to go home. But she no longer had one. The revolutionaries had seen to that. She was the sole survivor of a lineage that spanned centuries. It was her duty to carry on. What that meant she didn’t know.

The youngest princess was just that, a bright face for the ceremonies, an afterthought. Yet, here she was—alone and on the run with a hired escort, who didn’t respect her anymore than anyone else would. Maybe she should simply let these rebels capture her. This could all end now.

Locking arms around her legs, she scrunched herself tighter and swallowed rising tears. She may be the youngest princess, but she was still a princess. And princesses didn’t cry.

A hand brushed her shoulder. Jerking up, she saw a hint of something different in her escort’s gaze. Ahsoka didn’t know what the emotion was or whether she was imagining it. Still, the expression gave her a tiny sense of comfort.

Then, the eyes reverted to stony indifference. “Let’s go.”

Ahsoka pasted a grin on her face. “About time.”

Crouching by the edge of the crates, she drew her weapon. “Follow my lead.”

“Don’t I always?”

As was becoming a habit, the lack of response prompted Ahsoka to supply her own. _‘Actually, you tend to do the opposite.’_

_‘Yeah, but you like me anyway, right?’_

_‘No.’_

Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka prepared for yet another fight to keep her alive.

_______

Ahsoka watched her escort stretch sinewy muscles. The removal of the Mirialan’s cloak had allowed her first glimpse of what lay underneath.

Her lithe figure fit perfectly inside a full bodysuit of matte leather. It couldn’t be normal leather, though. The material seemed to mold itself to the body occupying it, conforming to whatever shape was needed at any given moment. An outer layer of overlapping scales subtly rippled with each motion. The entire effect evoked the hide of a pterayi dragon while in-flight.

Realizing she was staring, Ahsoka fidgeted with her own clothing. The fitted sleeves kept riding up her arms and cutting off circulation. Flexing tingling fingers, she cursed her choice of attire for the fiftieth time.

Her escort’s dry inflection once more sounded inside Ahsoka’s head. _‘Yes, Princess. Why did you choose such an impractical outfit?’_

_‘Oh, come on! So sorry I didn’t wake up and think… Hey, you know what? Better not wear a fancy skirt today, Ahsoka. There might be a revolution.’_

_‘That’s no excuse.’_

She curled fingers into her palms. Ahsoka also didn’t know today would be the day her life fell apart. Casting about for a distraction from that line of thought, she blurted, “I like your outfit. Do those scaly bits provide protection from blaster bolts or enhance stealth or something? Or are they just to make you look extra badass?”

The Mirialan slipped into a fresh cloak. Unlike the dingy gray she’d been sporting, this one was a much more pleasing royal blue that nearly matched the woman’s eyes. Digging into her pack, she tossed another cloak at Ahsoka. “Swap.”

Shaking it out, she hummed appreciatively. “Now, that’s more like it. Green is my favorite color. I mean not those neon kinda greens, but how this is—green like a forest, you know?” Receiving no response, she changed her approach. “Are we switching because someone near the last checkpoint might give them descriptions of our clothing?”

“Yes.”

Ahsoka pulled on her new cloak and tried again. “Blue is cool too, though. Like your lightsaber. It is a lightsaber, right? I’ve never seen one in real life, but it looks the same as the holos. If we get a chance, can I chop something in half?”

“No.”

“Not even if I say pretty please?” She produced what her sister termed the A+, Ahsoka’s annoyingly adorable grin to acquire almost anything.

Her escort repacked the modest-sized slingbag that somehow fit the myriad of items the woman kept magically producing from it. “No.”

“Ok, I get that. But if we survive, could I at least hold it? Sorta as a reward for staying alive?”

The eyes that gave her nothing to work with ran over Ahsoka’s figure. “Hood up.”

Flashing another grin, she flipped it over her montrals. “It’s a deal then.”

That got an exasperated breath, which Ahsoka totally considered a victory. Her companion slung the pack over a shoulder and strode back onto the street. “Let’s go.”

Ahsoka raced after her. “So, are you a Jedi?”

The woman’s stride hitched. “It’s time to work our way to the city gates.”

Undaunted, she continued, “I know it’s not my business. I find Jedi fascinating is all. This may sound stupid, but I always wanted to be one.”

_‘Yes, that is stupid.’_

_‘Right, but could you maybe just humor me with an actual conversation?’_

_‘No.’_

Keeping her tone light, Ahsoka actually said, “Where are we going, once we reach the gates?”

Halting at an intersection, her escort surveyed the area before moving again. “It’s wiser if we proceed silently.”

Whether it was good advice or not, she didn’t know. Ahsoka _did_ know she couldn’t handle another several hours talking to herself. “The terrain surrounding Korvala isn’t easy to navigate. It’s unsettled and pretty barren. There are tons of predators and limited water sources. Only organized hunting parties usually venture outside of the city. Wouldn’t it be better to steal a ship from the spaceport?”

“No.”

“Because it’s too heavily fortified? Or because they’d blow us out of the sky if we took off from there? I guess that means the revolutionaries captured it too? How else will we get off Shili? I assume we want to get off-planet, anyway, since staying here seems like a bad idea. But maybe they told you to take me somewhere else. Where are we supposed to go and what happens when I get there? I mean why would anyone tell me anything? I’m just the Princess.”

A growl erupted, and the Mirialan shoved Ahsoka into a nearby alleyway. Gripping her arms, she bit out, “We are going to my hidden ship in the dunes, which has the power and speed to potentially evade their air defenses. We both may die in the process. Whether you think this is a game or your disregard for the seriousness of our situation is some sort of nihilistic personality trait, I don’t know. At least, appreciate that _I’d_ prefer to survive this job and follow my instructions without unnecessary questions or gratuitous commentary.”

She stared into the now fiery blue eyes. It was the longest string of words the woman had uttered. Ahsoka grinned. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

There was a muttered curse as she released her hold. “Why did I bother? Let’s go, _Princess_.”

Ahsoka crossed her arms. “Only if you stop treating me like a wayward child.”

“Then, stop acting like one. Respect is earned.”

Sudden anger flared. “What do you want from me?! My family was murdered, my home is burning, and I’m being hunted by people who’d like to finish the job, while a hired mercenary, whose conversational forte consists of one-word answers, orders me around with no explanation. Understanding the seriousness of our situation doesn’t mean I have to obey your every command without question, _Escort._ ”

The woman blinked and tilted her head. She ran the same gaze over Ahsoka that she employed when appraising guards at a checkpoint and then grunted. “We need to keep moving.” Heading back onto the street, she added, “You can call me Barriss.”

_______

Ahsoka watched the humming blade polish off the last guard with her usual admiration. “I don’t know why we needed to sneak up on these guys when you were planning to slash right through them.”

She returned the weapon to her belt and proceeded through the checkpoint. “Keep up.” Replacing her hood, the woman started sprinting down the next street.

Grumbling to herself, Ahsoka ran after her. Dusk turned to night as they weaved through what felt like half the city at an unyielding pace. Their circuitous route doubled back several times, which Ahsoka could only assume was to leave a false trail. About the time she’d decided her legs were in serious danger of detaching themselves from her body, they halted at a dilapidated warehouse.

Examining the rusty lock panel, her escort jiggled it and the door screeched open. Glancing around the deserted alleyway, she ordered, “Inside.”

Panting heavily, Ahsoka held her side and eyed the pitch-black darkness. “Erm, can I get a second option?”

“Now, Princess.”

Too tired to argue, she edged into the unknown. Immediately sidestepping, Ahsoka found a wall to feel her way down. Senses heightening, she crouched in a ready stance and waited for her eyes to adjust. Togruta had minimal night vision, but it was better than nothing.

Something brushed against her arm, and she spun into a panicked kick. Ahsoka heard a grunt as her foot connected with a solid object. She shot away from the wall and scanned for the threat.

“Well,” a dry voice commented, “you can certainly move fast when you want to.”

“Oh. Um, sorry. Didn’t think about it being you.”

“Obviously.” There was rustling and then light flared. Her escort appeared, holding a compact lantern. She shined it across the entire perimeter of the abandoned warehouse. “Feel better?”

Seeing the utter emptiness, she cringed. “So, what now?”

Setting the lamp down, the woman rummaged through her slingbag and tossed Ahsoka a small blanket. “Sleep.” Spreading her own, she flicked a switch embedded in the bottom corner. There was a whoosh as the flat piece of fabric inflated into a person-sized cushion.

“Right. Of course.” Ahsoka dried sweaty palms on her cloak. “We’ve been going non-stop. Need to stay on top of our game, right?” She squeaked a laugh, surveying the darkness beyond the lantern’s dim radius once more. “Can’t have you passing out in the middle of a fight for our lives.”

The silence prompted her mind’s usual filling of the gaps. _‘Top notch analysis, Princess.’_

_‘I promise I’m not trying to be annoying. It’s just this isn’t exactly normal for me. I didn’t get lessons on being a fugitive, you know. Or lessons on anything that would be useful right now. I mean my home was a protected palace yesterday. I’ve never slept in rundown buildings at night, while people attempt to kill me every hour. A princess isn’t supposed to say she’s scared but I am, ok? Maybe throw me a bone here. Hey, you’re doing great all things considered? Chin up, Ahsoka? A bit of friendly conversation? A smile? Anything?’_

_‘No.’_

Crushing the blanket against her chest, Ahsoka gazed at a scuff in the steel flooring.

“Sleep, Princess.”

She jumped. “Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right.” Forcing herself into motion, Ahsoka examined the area on the opposite side of the lamp. She brushed away some metal filings and then inflated her thin cushion. Positioning it as close as possible to the light source, she pulled her cloak tighter and curled up facing the other woman.

The Mirialan laid flat. Gripping the saber in her left hand, she rested it on her stomach. Her right reached over to the lantern, and she twisted her head. “We need to save power and avoid detection.”

Ahsoka’s muscles seized, fresh beads of sweat springing along her forehead. Jamming hands into her armpits, she stuttered, “Y-yep. Makes sense. No problem.”

Her lips pursed. “I was hired to protect you. I always fulfill my commitments.”

She tried a grin. “Nice to know. And I guess you have a high success rate, being the best and all. Like eighty or ninety percent, yeah?”

An eyebrow cocked. “One hundred.”

Ahsoka stared. “Well, that’s… even better to know.”

“Good.” She hesitated for another moment but then switched off the lantern.

Darkness enveloped the space. She locked every sense on the shadowy blob across from her, until the woman’s figure solidified. Then, Ahsoka anchored herself to the only thing she had to hold onto. 

“Sleep, Princess,” a quiet voice said. “It’ll be light again soon.”

Maintaining the laser focus on her protector, Ahsoka let her eyes close. She listened to the rhythmic rise and fall of the woman’s breathing. Tension ebbed from her muscles, mind fading in and out. As exhaustion won the battle, she murmured, “Ok… Barriss.”

_______

_“There’s no choice, Ahsoka. You’re the last remaining heir to the throne. They won’t stop hunting you.”_

_She searched her uncle’s face. “What about you? They could come for you too.”_

_“I’m a sick, old man with no claim to anything. They haven’t even bothered to raid my estate. I’m clearly not a priority to whoever is leading this chaos. Either way, an arduous escape is not something my body can handle. I would only put you in more danger. You must go without me.”_

_Ahsoka crossed her arms. “What if I’d rather stay with you? Die fighting if I have to.”_

_He put a hand on her shoulder. “You are all that’s left of our family, and I intend to see you and it survive. Please, Ahsoka, give me that peace.”_

_She slumped. “Alright. For you, Uncle, I’ll go.”_

_Letting out a relieved exhale, he pulled her into a hug. “Remember, my feisty girl, change is the fabric of life itself. The day may come where you return and take your place once more. Or this may be your first step into a different future. Only time and you can say. However, you will never know if you do not live to see it.”_

_Holding him tighter, she choked out, “I love you.”_

_“As I do you. Now, you must go.” He waved at his guards. They admitted a cloaked figure into the room. “This is your protector. Your father’s friends spared no expense and procured the best. She will escort you to safety.”_

_Ahsoka barely glanced at the newcomer as she fought rising tears. “I’ll see you again soon, right?”_

_He rubbed her cheek. “Your family is always with you.” Nodding at her escort, the man limped toward the door with a slight wheeze. “Come.” They reached the back entryway, and he delivered a gentle kiss to her montrals. “Live, Ahsoka. Live.” Giving her an encouraging smile, her uncle retreated down the corridor._

_Her escort swept out an arm. “This way, Princess.”_

_A knot twisted in her stomach as Ahsoka followed the woman from the house. She stepped through the rear gates and then flinched when the metal doors screeched shut behind her. Angling her gaze above the protective walls, she kept the top of her uncle’s home in sight while they wound their way out._

_Even after they’d entered the edges of the city, Ahsoka continued glancing back, despite her uncle’s estate vanishing behind an upsurge of buildings. On her fourth such turn, she gasped. A column of smoke was rising into the sky. She pivoted and pelted toward it._

_Footsteps gave chase behind her. “Stop!”_

_Ahsoka shot into a flat run, faster than she knew herself capable of going. She made it just past the outskirts of the city. Right when her uncle’s residence came into clear view, she was tackled to the ground._

_Struggling under the iron grip, Ahsoka managed to lift her head. “No!” The front gates had been blasted apart. The part of his home visible through the massive gap billowed flames. Heavy military vehicles and clumps of armed figures surrounded it. “Let go of me! They probably think I’m there. We have to save him!”_

_A voice hissed in her montrals. “There is no one to save. He either escaped or is dead. It’s the same choice you now have. The one he sacrificed to give you. Don’t make it in vain.”_

Jerking up, Ahsoka sucked ragged breaths and squashed palms into the warehouse floor. Body trembling, she tried to expel the dream from her mind. It refused to fade. The memory kept cycling one image to the next, every detail etched in perfect clarity. No matter what she told herself, it felt as real as the first time. Even the aroma of scorched metal and smoky air filled her nostrils.

Laying back down and gazing into darkness, Ahsoka Tano watched the last remnant of her life burn. But she didn’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another installment of Barrissoka madness! If you recently came off _In Duty, the Heart Dwells_ , you might be full up on royalty. I hope not as this fic was in the best shape for posting next and is a very different story. That’s not to say trauma, romance, politics, family issues, and the greater good won’t be involved. I mean it is Star Wars. (And Gabby.) Given I took [very] loose inspiration from Tsarist Russia with a sprinkle of young Obi-Wan/Satine, I could’ve made Ahsoka a Duchess for a change. But no way was I forgoing snarky princess remarks from Barriss. 👑™
> 
> POV: This story is written in third person limited from Ahsoka’s point of view. We’ll see everything through her eyes. Ahsoka’s perceptions are based on her personality, knowledge base, and experiences, which evolve throughout the narrative. She may be right, wrong, biased, oblivious, etc. There are certainly alternate interpretations of people, actions, and situations to be had. That’s part of the fun.
> 
> Update Schedule: One chapter per week, typically posted on Saturdays. Well, assuming my wampa den isn’t invaded by a lightsaber-wielding Jedi, who refuses to simply stay frozen to the ceiling where I left him. Or, you know, the day-job gets hectic.
> 
> [Special thanks to B_Radley for the great feedback on the multitude of titles I debated for this!]


	2. Follow My Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sic semper tyrannis!

Ahsoka rapped knuckles against her knee. “Sooooo, what’s the plan?”

Barriss opened her mouth but then fixed on the street behind them, lips pressing together in a slight frown. Twisting her head, Ahsoka spotted a figure skulking away from the remains of a burned-out shop. Her escort apparently deigned this random looter unimportant after a few seconds, because she returned attention to the city gates and replied, “Follow my lead.”

“Of course. Silly me. It’s a good thing I can run fast. Otherwise, this go-to plan of yours would have left me by the side of the road two days ago.”

_‘Don’t tempt me, Princess.’_

Ahsoka giggled at her own joke, made at her own expense, inside of her own head. _‘I have so many issues, don’t I?’_

_‘Yes.’_

_‘You know, it’s ok if you don’t agree with me on these things.’_

Barriss’s eyes narrowed. “You do intend to obey instructions this time, correct?”

She threw up a sloppy salute. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

Her expression pinched. Assessing the gates one final time, she drew her saber. “Let’s go.”

Ahsoka took a steadying breath and then put on a grin. “About time, Escort.”

_______

“Go!”

Ahsoka vacillated between the now open gates and her protector. “Not without you.”

Barriss didn’t have a chance to chastise her as blaster bolts flew off a blade that was flashing too fast for Ahsoka to follow. Then, the woman stumbled back as one slipped through, hitting her saber arm. “Run!”

Curling fingers into her palms, Ahsoka gazed at the scene. “I can’t.” She pulled down her hood and shouted, “I’m Tunguma Tano! I’ll surrender!” Sprinting over to Barriss, she put her hands in the air. “Your leader wants to publicly execute me, right? Better not kill me by accident.” The fire halted.

“What are you doing?!”

“Saving your life,” Ahsoka replied calmly. “Just follow my lead. And be prepared to do something, uh, Jedi-ey.” Stepping forward, she called, “Well, anyone want me?”

The multitude of thick spikes forming the city gates shot up from the ground. An energy field crackled, electrifying the metal barrier. Then, a mass of what had to be fifty well-armed revolutionaries converged on their position, backing them against the now sealed escape route.

Channeling her most authoritative voice, Ahsoka held up a palm to the approaching horde. “Stop. My Jedi friend is antsy and will easily pick you off if you get within ten steps. Rushing in before hearing my terms means many of you will unnecessarily perish.”

Taking her cue, Barriss moved beside her, saber swerving in all directions as if ready to strike.

The group came to an unceremonious halt. A few even took a step back.

Ahsoka nodded. “Attack us now and die a forgotten martyr of the revolution. Inform your leader that I will surrender to them alone, you live to tell everyone of the day you captured the last member of the Royal Clan of Tano. The choice is yours.”

A few rebels congregated together in hushed conversation, while the rest kept their blasters trained on her.

“That’s your plan?” Barriss hissed. “Bring more of them down on us?”

Ahsoka maintained her polite smile as she sidemouthed, “Follow my lead is enough of a plan for you. Why can’t I use it?”

There was the distinct sound of teeth grinding.

“Anyway,” Ahsoka continued, “I’m improvising while you figure something brilliant out. I’m sure an opportunity will present itself.” 

“It already did, and you refused to take it.”

“I’m better off with the woman who has a hundred percent success rate. How long do you think I’d make it on my own?”

Barriss flexed the fingers of her injured arm. “While I applaud your rare recognition of reality, I’m not that easy to kill. I would’ve had more options to save myself and catch up to you, once I didn’t have a millstone hanging around my neck to protect. But no, someone decided to be a hero. Do you deliberately set out to be infuriating or does it come naturally?”

“Yes.”

“Blasted Force, you are _so—_ ” Sucking air into her cheeks, Barriss exhaled and resumed her defensive posture. “I guess we’ll find out whether either of us are around to argue about it soon enough. What was it you called yourself when deciding to commit suicide? Tunguma Tano?”

Ahsoka started. _‘Wait. Are we actually having a conversation?’_

_‘Don’t get cocky, Princess. I asked a question.’_

_‘Yeah, but it’s a question irrelevant to our survival. That I’ll answer. Then, you’ll respond to my answer. So, that’s like a real conversation, right?’_

_‘No.’_

Despite currently facing a mass of armed citizens who wanted her dead, Ahsoka had an urge to grin. “Tunguma is used as a form of address in all clans but can also denote a formal position. It means daughter in Togruti. Tano is the royal clan. So, in my case, it’s saying—”

“Daughter of the Royal Clan of Tano, therefore a Princess.”

“Essentially. Ahsoka, the Tunguma Tano is my official title, but it’s become interchangeable with Princess for ease of understanding to offworlders and immigrants more comfortable speaking Basic.”

“Interesting. Which do you prefer?”

“In general or from you? Because the way you say Princess with that subtle hint of exasperation would probably lose something in translation.”

The woman arched an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting you do or do not enjoy that?”

Her hovering grin started to break through. Unfortunately, it never materialized. The momentary forgetting of reality ended when one of the revolutionaries announced, “We’re reporting your demands, prima donna.”

“Excellent. Thank you, my good sir.”

There was a chorus of jeers from the group. The Togruta who’d originally spoken hefted his heavy blaster rifle. Hawkish eyes drilled into hers. “Don’t know what you think is gonna happen when our lord arrives. Are you touched in the head or just a bit dim?”

Barriss grunted, prompting Ahsoka to supply the woman’s response. _‘Indeed. I’ve been asking myself that same question for two days.’_

Ahsoka shrugged. “Why not both? Does that make you feel justified in slaughtering my entire family and starting a bloody revolution where hundreds of innocent people have died?”

An older, distinguished looking Togruta standing beside him bristled. “Those senseless riots were perpetrated by citizens that your cruelty has driven to madness, not us. That is why we are fighting for a new world. One where your kind don’t rule over us, while we grovel and starve in the gutter.”

Her skin flushed. “We didn’t do any such thing! We’ve funded multiple programs to help you make better lives. Education. Housing. Healing. My sister administered a network of food kitchens and even served in them personally. She was the kindest person I knew. And what did it get her?” A tremor rolled across her voice. “A blaster bolt through the head from those she worked so hard to help. You heartless scum even murdered her innocent child.”

The man she’d dubbed Hawk Eyes twitched and opened his mouth, but whatever he planned to say was cut off by a snarl from a Rodian woman behind him. “Don’t cry to us, you pampered bitch. Now you know how it feels, don’t you?! Where was your great generosity and compassion when your soldiers stormed into my house and butchered _my_ family?”

Ahsoka stiffened. “Our soldiers wouldn’t do that. Those stories were propaganda.”

Multiple faces screwed up as outrage rippled across the group. “She still denies her crimes! Spoiled brat! Living in luxury while we suffer! Kill her! Rip her apart! Down with tyranny!”

Hawk Eyes, who was evidently in charge, calmed the crowd. “Patience, my friends. Don’t die for no reason. She’ll pay the piper soon enough. Even if we have to take the Jedi down along with the despots they defend.”

Barriss flinched. “The Jedi defend those who can’t defend themselves. It’s unfortunate you chose violence instead of seeking truth. Otherwise, they might have helped you.”

“Jedi care about no one but her kind!” the Rodian screeched. “We already know the truth, and we don’t need your help to execute justice!”

“You only know lies,” Barriss snapped. “The corruption you are fighting still exists. The man that leads you is the same man that enlisted a segment of the army to do terrible deeds. All in the hopes of sparking a revolution. You played your part beautifully. His path is clear to rule with an iron fist. Instead of bothering to discover the true enemy, you killed those guilty of nothing more than being duped by someone they trusted—just as you have been. You’re the ones serving evil and you don’t even know it.” Her lip curled. “Blind sheep.”

Ahsoka flipped her head to Barriss. Even if the speech hadn’t come from the woman who usually spoke in single sentences, the vehemence behind it smacked of sincerity. “Is that true?” she whispered.

Cries came from the rebel line. “Liar! More Jedi lies!”

Barriss grimaced as if regretting her outburst. “You will find out I’m right soon enough. When Dooku consolidates his newly stolen power, you’ll witness what actual terror is.”

Ahsoka jerked back a step. “Lord Dooku? That’s not possible.” Heat rose along with her voice. “Dooku wouldn’t incite a revolution against us. He couldn’t! He’s my father’s closest and most trusted friend. You’re wrong!”

The catcalls abruptly died at Ahsoka’s eruption of words. An odd silence fell as if everyone was awaiting the next line of a dramatic play.

Barriss exhaled. “I’m sorry, but I’m not.” She addressed the lead rebel, “You’ve taken the royal archives. Examine the troop movements in each sector, food inventory shortages causing hardship in targeted areas of the city, and generous allocation of aid from the royal treasury that none of you ever knew about. Do it before Dooku has the records destroyed. It’s all there. Compare the order signatures to the Emir’s public decrees. They are forged. Break into the storehouses that are supposedly empty and find the rotting food Dooku claims doesn’t exist. Look at how the monetary aid was funneled to specific units within the military for supposed distribution to those in need. He bought himself a personal army with your credits. Check the dates on the documentation. They not only coincide with the acts of cruelty you are protesting but also occurred in the past six months, since Dooku became Viceroy.” She switched attention to Ahsoka. “Confirm their leader’s identity with them if you must.”

She swallowed and turned to Hawk Eyes. “ _Is_ Count Dooku involved in your revolution?”

The man tapped fingers against his blaster for a moment. “I suppose it don’t matter now. The Jedi’s right about that part. He helped us organize and encouraged us to fight for justice.”

“No.” She clenched her fists. “You’re lying! He’s the one who insisted the reports of rogue soldiers perpetrating violence were unsubstantiated, propaganda of the opposing political wing. There was nothing to be concerned about. He reported the extra aid was making a real difference. He told my father the sectors impacted by the food shortages were starting to thrive again. All was well. He—he—no, it’s not true!”

The revolutionaries glanced at each other and then their leader snorted. “You’re good at playacting, I’ll give you that. But everyone knows there ain’t nobody can do anything without the Emir’s leave.”

Ahsoka stared at empty air, understanding she didn’t want coming in spades. “Except the Viceroy. He has almost as much power as the monarch.” Stabbing pain attacked her chest. “Don’t you know how your own government works? Dooku runs the day to day administration. Why would you believe him?! He’s the one making most of the decisions. If bad things were happening, _he_ approved them. Not my father! You bastards murdered my entire family out of ignorance!”

A human woman with a shock of flaming red hair yelled, “You believe what you want! We even gave your kind a chance to make things right. We sent brave citizens to the Emir to plead for mercy and assistance. They never returned. I suppose they all got lost on the way?”

Barriss put in, “Unannounced visitors to the Emir don’t get ushered into his presence. They get sorted through underlings. If they made it far enough up the line, who do you think would be the final decider on access to the monarch?”

The bitter Rodian shrieked, “More lies! Lord Dooku told us he sent them straight to the Emir and they never returned from his chambers! He said not to send any more as he couldn’t in good conscience see more innocent blood spilt.”

There were shouts of agreements, some shook vehement heads as if attempting to rid themselves of a possibility none of them wanted to entertain, and a few stared silently down at their blasters. However, the hawkish eyes flicked between Ahsoka and Barriss, a small frown forming.

Ahsoka’s gaze traveled over the angry, scared, confused, and miserable faces of what had been her people. The hot emotion drained, leaving only a dull ache in her heart. “I’m so sorry. If we had known about your suffering, we wouldn’t have let it continue. Now, it’s too late. For any of us.”

A young Twi’lek came running through the back of the line and handed a comm pad to their leader. The man’s jaw clenched as he read whatever message it contained. Slowly lifting his head, he announced, “Our Lord Dooku is handling important things with the revolution. So, he can’t come or call us right now but says he don’t care about a public execution. He thanks us for our bravery and demands we deliver justice on the spot. He also don’t believe this other is really a Jedi. Says they’re too yellow-belly to get involved. That means not to worry about the Jedi being angry if we kill her.”

“Of course,” Barriss scoffed. “You expected him to risk his skin to save yours? You’ve already served your purpose. Dooku isn’t a fool. He knows he’s already won. Assassinating the last surviving heir is merely insurance. Besides, if I am a Jedi, coming here means confronting those who might expose him with a group of his pawns as witnesses. He’s long been an enemy to the Jedi, who well know his evil deeds.” Stepping in front of Ahsoka, she spat, “Enough talk. Let’s get this over with, so you can receive the reward your blindness has earned.”

Blasters flew up in response, and Ahsoka jumped forward. “Wait! No more death. Let the Jedi go, and I’ll surrender to my fate.”

Barriss went rigid. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s ok.” Ahsoka put a hand on her arm. “Your commitment is fulfilled. Dooku may have manipulated my father, but a leader’s place is to take care of those they rule. If we didn’t bother to seek the truth, we hold some of the blame. I will not be responsible for any more of my people dying.”

“ _You_ are not responsible. You had no say in how things were run.”

She smiled wanly. “If one receives the benefits of royalty, one should also pay its debts.” Looking at Hawk Eyes, Ahsoka requested, “Please. My death will end the violence, right? Let her leave in peace and you can take your revenge.”

His brows drew together as he held her gaze. He glanced at the older Togruta, who gave him a quick nod. His shoulders straightened. “Very well, Tunguma Tano.” The lead rebel waved at the gatekeeper post. “Open ‘em up, so the Jedi can go.”

Ahsoka briefly wondered why he was deactivating the gates. If it were her, she’d have told Barriss to simply walk away into the city. It didn’t seem very smart to remove their victim’s primary barrier to escape, but what did she know? Perhaps, he was worried the ‘Jedi’ might attack them afterward and wanted to lock her out. Yes, that made sense.

Once the gates were down, Hawk Eyes returned attention to Ahsoka. “Probably don’t mean much, but I want you to know we weren’t gonna do your sister and the child no harm. Like you said, some thought her different. But Dooku said we didn’t have no choice. It had to be everyone or else he couldn’t help us. Our kids are dying and—well, we had to do what we had to do. That don’t mean all of us liked doing it.” He paused. “I swear there’ll be a proper burial. Returned to the earth, as Togruta should be.”

Lungs tightening, she choked out, “Thank you.”

Scattered rebels discreetly angled blasters away from her. At least, a few of them didn’t want to kill her. That was something. Edging back, Hawk Eyes fixed on Barriss with a strange intensity. “Time to make an exit, Jedi.”

The woman growled. “Damn you all! She wants to sacrifice herself for something she didn’t do. You’re willing to kill her when you know it’s wrong. Why am I the only sane person on this blasted planet?!” She grabbed Ahsoka’s hand, and a roar that sounded like a pack of attacking pterayi ripped from her chest.

As the revolutionaries swung their weapons toward the sky to defend against the apparent threat, Barriss pelted out the city gates, dragging Ahsoka behind her. “You better run this time or I’ll kill you myself, Princess.” She flicked her fingers and the metal spikes shot back into place behind them.

Taking one final look at her lost home, Ahsoka whispered, “Yes, ma’am.” Then, they ran for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear rebellio--erm, _revolutions_ are built on hope.  
> That seems... potentially problematic.


	3. Action and Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Action and reaction, a constant in both physics and life.

“No, wait!”

Barriss ordered, “Stay back.” 

Ahsoka grabbed the woman’s arm. “Stop. Shooting won’t scare him off or even slow him down. Yulikaa hide is too strong for blasters.”

She jerked out of Ahsoka’s grip. Her weapon flew up to target the creature once more. “If it attacks, it’ll meet my lightsaber.”

The Yulikaa blocking the narrow path through the canyon reared up on his back legs, ridged claws clicking together. The beaklike mouth snapped at them, powerful jaw muscles rippling with each motion.

“Quit antagonizing him!” Ahsoka pleaded. “Yuli aren’t naturally aggressive, but it’s nesting season. His young are probably hidden in the canyon walls, and you’re acting like a threat. Depress the trigger, and he’ll be on us in three seconds flat. Even if you do manage to kill him before he cracks our necks, you’ll be sentencing his litter to death. None of us needs to die. Please, Barriss. Let me handle it.”

“We don’t have time for this,” Barriss hissed but lowered her blaster. “And I doubt whatever you’re intending to do is safe.”

“It’s worth the risk.” Ahsoka crouched down, making herself as small as possible. “Ok, back away from me slowly. Go at least two meters out and stay low. Keep your height under his.”

“Absolutely not.”

She blew out a breath. “This is what I’m doing, _Escort_ , whether you like it or not. If you don’t want to get me killed, do as I say.”

Teeth ground in her montrals, but she also detected the sound of feet sliding back through the sandy gravel.

“Thank you.” Ahsoka took measured, waddling steps toward the Yuli. “Hel-lo there,” she said in a singsong rhythm. “I know you’re worried. We aren’t after your babies. What if we be friends?” The words didn’t matter, only the cadence and vibration. Still, she always felt compelled to carry on a conversation.

The habit delighted her brother to no end. After she’d taken her first Akul, he’d spent the celebratory dinner chatting to each bite of his food. He claimed to be practicing his technique for the next hunt, since it was all the rage with the kids these days. Ahsoka smiled to herself at the memory, until reality marred its beauty. Heart stinging, she refocused. “It’s going to be ok. We’re only passing through.”

Multi-layered eyelids cycled as the creature evaluated her. She halted in place, letting him decide what came next. His claws retracted, but he remained solidly in their path as if saying, “Your move, Togruta.”

Her father’s voice swelled amid still swirling images of the past. _“Note each twitch, breath, and flex, little one. See how the movements reflect yours? And you reflect back? Every living creature is part of an interconnected whole. Your actions always cause a reaction. To anticipate, you must understand its reality. Immerse yourself in its world. Because that is your world, as well.”_

Honing her senses, Ahsoka let herself meld into the environment. The smell of stale air and wilderness. A taste of gritty dust on her tongue. The scorched sun reflecting in her eyes. Heat rising through the soles of her feet. Muffled warbles of Yuli young floating across the canyon. The tensed muscles of their protector as he watched her every move. She could feel his uncertainty and fear. Threat or irrelevant? Fight or flight?

Ahsoka lowered herself into a cross-legged pose. “See, here I am. I’m at your mercy. We’re not worth the risk.” She trilled a high-pitched warble, approximating how Yulikaa communicated.

He tilted his head and then responded in kind. The Yuli edged forward before swiftly reversing direction to assess her response. Gaining confidence, he crept closer and snuffed around her. Ahsoka maintained complete stillness as scalding breath sizzled across her lekku. Backing off, he scratched the ground.

Laying her hands flat in a submissive gesture, Ahsoka hummed, “Yes, it’s your home. I promise we are leaving.”

His attention shifted behind her, presumably to Barriss. Whatever he saw must have been acceptable as the Yuli chirped twice and then pivoted. Running up a canyon wall, he vanished into a large crevice on the rockface.

Ahsoka let out a giant exhale. Twisting around, she flashed her A+ at Barriss. “Told you I could handle it.”

The woman stared at her for a long moment. Then, she dusted herself off with a grunt. “Let’s go, Princess.”

_______

Ahsoka gripped the arms of the co-pilot’s seat as Barriss’s ship rocked. The well-coordinated maneuvers of the enemy sentries drove another stab into her battered heart. These weren’t untrained revolutionaries in commandeered fighters pursuing them. They were military pilots. That meant Dooku had secured the allegiance of the Shili Navy, as well.

Given the superiority of Togruta sentries, it also meant a high probability everything would end here. Ahsoka couldn’t work up enough energy to care. Though, she had hoped her protector wouldn’t share the same fate.

Then again, perhaps things weren’t quite as hopeless as they seemed. Even a novice like herself could see Barriss’s skill level was phenomenal. Ahsoka admired the fluidity of movement as the woman dodged and weaved through the gauntlet. The Mirialan somehow anticipated every move of their opponents.

The ship screeched to a halt, and Ahsoka threw out her arms to brace herself. Before she could ask, Barriss dove straight down. The g-force slammed Ahsoka back against the seat.

Twisting her head, she watched intense blue eyes scan the tactical display. A tiny smirk upturned the woman’s lips. Jerking the controls, she sent the ship pitching to the right and then spun into a 180, laying down fire the entire time.

Pieces of burning metal blew past the cockpit window. Barriss jammed the throttles, and they careened straight up. The ship shuddered under the strain as did Ahsoka’s body.

Ahsoka dragged her gaze down to the vibrating display in the co-pilot’s console and noted two blips had vanished. Three remained but were apparently just realizing Barriss was nowhere. They regrouped to continue pursuit but were well out of range now. _‘You tricked them into chasing you.’_

_‘Well spotted, Princess.’_

_‘I know. I try. Isn’t that why you like me?’_

_‘No.’_

Barriss punched in coordinates as they cleared the planet’s atmosphere. She pushed forward on the hyperspace levers, and the stars streaked into blue.

Caving into her seat, Ahsoka exhaled. “Well, that was impressive.” The click of buttons was the only response. “Right. So, am I allowed to know where you’re taking me now?”

“Domus Renking’s consular ship.”

She sat up. “He’s still alive? I thought the members of my father’s council were executed.”

The woman started calculating a new hyperspace jump, presumably to hamper any tracking efforts. “They were. Renking was on Coruscant negotiating exports.”

Ahsoka pressed palms against her eyes. “Good. Lord Renking will know what to do. Is he the one who hired you?”

“Yes. He knew I was already in the system on other business. Unfortunately, by the time I reached your uncle, you were… the only one I could help.”

She scrubbed a hand over her face. “Because I wasn’t where I should have been.” The images she’d been avoiding flooded her mind, but Ahsoka couldn’t seem to stop talking. “I loved visiting the city marketplaces in disguise. I’d go to a different sector each week. Seeing all the wares, trying unusual foods, and watching everyone haggle was so interesting. It made me feel normal or something. If I really had been, maybe I would have realized.” She wrapped arms around her stomach. “Princess Ahsoka, living in her own little bubble while her people suffered. I thought everyone looked happy.”

Unexpectedly, she got a response. “Some were. I haven’t heard reports of unrest in the three lesser cities. The entire planet didn’t revolt, only certain segments of Korvala. That was by design. Wealthy, military, professional, and industrial sectors were more likely to be highly educated, have access to the Emir, or better weather short-term financial downswings. They weren’t suited for Dooku’s strategies. Instead, he ensured those areas thrived. The most influential sections of the populace had no reason to question his administration and dismissed stray reports stating otherwise. Meanwhile, Dooku inflicted shortages, brutality, and sanctions on vulnerable sectors.”

The dull ache returned to her chest. “That makes it even worse. Those were the people most in need of our attention. Attention we failed to give them.” She murmured, “Your actions always cause a reaction.” Ahsoka’s mind began jumping from thought to thought, unable to focus on any of them. Until one gave her an absurd urge to giggle. “You know what’s ironic? My father used to get so mad at me for sneaking out unprotected.”

Barriss’s fingers stopped moving and hovered over a navigation panel. “Did you return home after the violence started?”

“Yes,” she whispered, “but I couldn’t ride my speeder in the chaos and had to travel most of it on foot. Between the blocked streets and riots, it took forever.” Her thoughts began spilling out in stilted jerks. “Too late. There. Strapped to the gates. Like decorations. All of them. Except little B’asia.” She swallowed the bile in her throat. “At least, they had that much decency. People were gathered around. _Cheering._ Not everyone but enough. As if they were celebrating a holiday.” Her hands clenched into fists. “And what did I do? Nothing. I stood there like a petrified child. Doing _nothing._ ”

There was a brief silence. “Revealing yourself would only have resulted in you sharing the same fate.”

“Maybe that would’ve been better,” Ahsoka croaked. She stared at her whitening knuckles. “When they lit the palace on fire, I just… ran. I didn’t stop until reaching my uncle.”

“I’m sure that’s what your family would’ve wanted.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I guess I’ll never know.” Desperately fighting off tears, she rushed out, “So, that was a big speech you gave the revolutionaries. How did you know all those details?”

“Dooku and I have history. When I realized he’d installed himself on Shili, I tracked down the evidence.”

Ahsoka frowned. “If you knew who the enemy was and your job was simply to protect me, why get evidence against Dooku? Actually, wait. How did you gather it in the period between being contracted and finding me? There’s no way. You must have already been investigating prior to the revolution. Why?”

Barriss resumed clicking buttons. “You’re smarter than you pretend.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

_‘No.’_

_‘That’s what I thought.’_

_‘Is there a purpose to this conversation, Princess? I might revert to one-word sentences at any moment.’_

“You didn’t answer my question,” Ahsoka pointed out.

Her face pinched. “No. I didn’t.”

She drummed fingers on the arm of her chair. “Dooku was once a Jedi, right? That’s what he told my father, anyway. Pretty sure I heard that back when he was leading the CIS too.”

There was no reply, so Ahsoka continued her musings, “You have admitted history with him and were investigating his activities. You use a lightsaber. Expertly. That noise you made to distract the revolutionaries was… not normal. The city gates magically reactivated at the same time you waved your hand. And the way you said the Jedi defend those who can’t defend themselves was—well, you believed it.” She squinted at Barriss. “You actually _are_ a Jedi, aren’t you?”

Barriss stared down at her console. Releasing a long exhale, she started scrolling text on a display. “Not anymore.”

Startled at getting an answer, Ahsoka’s mind spit a torrent of questions. Noticing the hunched posture and stiff movements of the other woman, she instead relaxed back into her seat. Annoying was one thing; hurtful was a different matter. “Did I tell you I always wanted to be a Jedi?”

“Yes.” The response was curt as usual, but Ahsoka thought she detected relief in it.

“Changed your mind about me chopping something in half with your lightsaber?”

“No.”

Grinning to herself, Ahsoka gazed into the beauty of hyperspace. However, terrible images once again began marring her sanctuary. Switching focus to her companion, she examined the diamond tattoos decorating olive cheeks, wine-colored lips pursed in concentration, and the short spikes of hair emerging from her headscarf. She hadn’t considered it before, but the woman didn’t look much older than herself.

Ahsoka’s gaze lingered on the intense expression Barriss wore as she worked. It was oddly comforting. “I’m sorry I messed up at the gates. Knowing what I do now, you probably could have escaped if I’d followed instructions, huh? I just didn’t want you to die for me.”

Barriss glanced up with raised eyebrows. “I told you I always fulfill my commitments. Doing whatever it takes to protect you is the contract.”

“Maybe, but _I_ didn’t sign that contract.”

The woman grunted and then started another calculation. “That fact is quite obvious.”

Ahsoka returned to the streaking blue of hyperspace as a grin crept back onto her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter this week, just because!
> 
> Some [arguably] fun facts about this chapter:  
> 1\. The 2nd scene went through about 50 rewrites. Weaving exposition dumps into character/plot development is tricky. What details are required to serve my goals, ensure the events I'm describing make sense, not bore you to tears, and still create a natural flow for the dialogue? Ahsoka's POV and Barriss's characterization further complicated matters. I had to imply a reason(s) for Barriss to engage within the confines of Ahsoka's limited perceptions. Whether I succeeded at any of this, you'll have to tell me!  
> 2\. My determination to make Ahsoka's conversation with the Yuli follow a consistent singsong rhythm required multiple rounds of me singing to myself. At one point, I tried to use formatting that evoked my made-up rhythm for the reader. The number of dashes, ellipses, and emphasis italics going on was... well, let's just say your eyes thank me for giving up the idea. So, you'll never even hear this rhythmic masterpiece. What's the definition of insanity again? Answer: See below.  
> *Professional Reenactment. Do not try this at home.*  
> 🎶🎶🎶--Wait. That's too many syllables. Was it 5-6-5 or 4-6... oh, nevermind. What if I just squash that word together? 🎶🎶 Gah! I can't start the next sentence with "I'm" again. Maybe I should try iambic pentameter? Seriously, Gabby? You're lucky you remember the _term_ iambic pentameter. What about to the tune of "Happy Birthday to You"? 🎶🎶 Ok, that's annoying. Grr! Whose idea was this nonsense?!  
> 


	4. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Common wisdom claims trust is difficult to gain and easy to lose. Ehhhh... is it really though?

Ahsoka’s restless stomach rippled once more. Her queasiness had been steadily worsening, and she had no idea why.

Perhaps, it was the dizzying effect of these Corvette-class ships. Every step held wall after wall of white blankness that made her eyes cross. As if the designers had decided inducing vertigo a small price to pay for pristine uniformity.

Of course, the stifling feel of this office with its stately yet bland decor arranged to pretentious perfection didn’t help. Members of her father’s council had always been a bit stuffy and pompous for Ahsoka’s tastes. Granted, she found Lord Renking more palatable than most. At least, he smiled.

The man in question reappeared through his office door, lugging a camtono in both hands. His cargo must have been heavier than it looked because Renking’s fair skin had taken on a ruddy complexion. He hefted the miniature safe onto his desk with a winded exhale. “Impressive work as always, Lady Offee.” Pulling out an elegant kerchief, he dabbed sweat off his wide brow and squinted at the lock. “Given the reports regarding the organization and speed of this unfortunate event, I must confess preparing myself for you to return empty-handed, if at all.” He twisted the case’s handle, and it hissed open to reveal a huge stack of credit ingots.

Directing a sad smile at Ahsoka, Renking continued, “Of course, that does not make reality any less bitter. Shili has lost its guiding stars and I, some of my dearest friends. Yet, we must remember light can still shine amid darkness. I am grateful ours was not completely extinguished.”

Posture straightening, Ahsoka shifted into what she’d always termed ‘Princess mode’. Switching had long ago become as natural as a breath. This time, however, it felt strange. “Indeed, Lord Renking. As I am grateful for friends such as yourself.”

He waved a deprecating hand. “I am merely pleased I could be of some small service to Shili in her hour of need.”

Barriss finished assessing the contents of the camtono and locked it. “Until next time, my lord.” Picking up her payment, the woman looked over at Ahsoka. She opened her mouth but then simply gave a brief nod and headed toward the door.

The thought of Barriss departing immediately hadn’t occurred to her. Of course, she would. Her job was done. Ahsoka moved to intercept her, intending to offer at least a thank you.

As she reached Barriss, a thin woman with a jutting chin and an unpleasantly sharp face strode into the office. Brushing past them, she handed a pad to Lord Renking and waited respectfully while he reviewed it.

Barriss twitched. Her eyes flicked between the newcomer and Renking, expression hardening.

“What is it?” Ahsoka asked.

The intense blue gazed at her for a long moment. Then, she rubbed her forehead. “Dammit, Offee. Why do you do this to yourself?” Leaning into Ahsoka, she hissed, “I need to stay with you. Make it happen.”

Before she could respond, Renking interjected, “Was there something else, Lady Offee? I thought our business concluded.”

“You are correct, my lord. Our business is concluded.”

The man cleared his throat. “And you are still here because…?”

Barriss glanced at her, and Ahsoka blurted, “She’s here for me. I asked her to stay, I mean.”

He handed the pad back to his aide. “Yes?”

Pushing aside the confusion, Ahsoka kicked herself back into Princess mode. “I have retained Lady Offee’s services as my bodyguard. Given events, it seemed wise.”

Renking stiffened. “That is quite unnecessary. My people are perfectly capable of protecting you.” He addressed Barriss, “I thank you for your continued willingness to serve Shili. Unfortunately, we do not possess the resources to meet your justifiably high fee at this time. I apologize for any inconvenience.”

Ahsoka bristled. “Lord Renking, while I appreciate your assistance in delivering me to safety, you have no authority over me. It is certainly not your place to dismiss my staff.”

Settling into his desk chair with a polite smile, he said, “Princess, you no longer have a staff. Pardon my bluntness, but you have only what I provide. While I’m pleased to be of support during this difficult period, I would expect some recognition of both your own position as well as my limited ability to fund your whims.”

Drawing up to her full height, Ahsoka stated, “You assume too much. I have retained Lady Offee from _my_ resources, not yours. As for my position, I must remind you that I am still a member of the Royal Clan of Tano. If you no longer wish to be in my service, I will release you from your oath and depart. Otherwise, I consider this discussion at an end.”

Seemingly nonplussed, Renking rubbed his chin with a thoughtful expression. He leaned forward in his seat. “You do have access to your father’s ancillary treasury then. I’m told the traitor Dooku has been unsuccessful in finding it. Please, excuse my earlier presumption. Your father kept the location extremely contained, so you being privy to such details seemed doubtful. This is excellent news. You were wise to gain control of the treasury so swiftly. It will greatly aid you in recovering your footing.”

She blinked. Ahsoka hadn’t given any thought to the treasury until this moment. “I’m afraid you are under a misapprehension—”

He cut her off. “I understand. Such information has, of course, a sensitive nature in this environment. We will speak no more of the matter. You are quite correct and may certainly engage whomever you wish.”

Ahsoka relaxed. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.” She stole a glance at Barriss. _‘What now?’_

_‘Follow my lead, Princess.’_

Stepping closer to her, Barriss met Renking’s gaze. “Fear not, my lord. I shall employ my full measure of talent to ensure no harm comes to my charge.”

His eyes narrowed. He probably took the statement as an insult to his own security. “That is a great relief to my mind.” Switching attention to Ahsoka, his expression morphed into a jovial one. “You must be in dire need of rest and refreshment after such an arduous few days. I’m afraid I have no accommodations prepared for Lady Offee. If she will wait here, I can—”

“I require none,” Barriss interrupted. “I shall accompany the Princess to her quarters and remain there. Additionally, I’ll attend her during our stay, so you need not assign anyone.”

Ahsoka’s stomach calmed at the thought of having Barriss nearby at all times. Attempting to soften the Mirialan’s brusque, bordering on insolent directives, she added, “Indeed, Lord Renking. You have already expended significant personal resources on my behalf. I intend to minimize any further imposition on your hospitality. It is the least I can do to show my appreciation for your loyalty.”

For a second it looked as if he might object, but Renking merely returned an amiable smile. “Most considerate.” He flicked a finger at the thin woman. “Arihnda, please escort the Tunguma Tano and her bodyguard to the designated quarters.”

His aide bowed. “If you will follow me.”

Barriss motioned for Ahsoka to walk in front of her. Confused but happier than when they entered the office, she trailed after Arihnda with Barriss at her back.

_______

Two seconds after Renking’s aide departed their guest quarters, Barriss said, “Princess, you mentioned desiring fresh attire from my ship. We should tend to that now. I assume you’d prefer to make your selections personally.”

Ahsoka stared. “Oh, er, yes. I do.”

They proceeded to the docking bay in silence. Once they were inside the ship, Barriss sealed the hatch and rushed to the cockpit. Pulling up a readout on the console, she cursed. “They’ve locked the ship to the floor with magnetic clamps. Smart. An uncommon but justifiable safety procedure that effectively traps us here, unless we give ourselves away by requesting their release.”

Wrapping arms around her stomach, Ahsoka asked, “What’s going on? Why did you insist on staying? Why would we leave?”

Scrolling through schematics, she replied absently, “I’m saving your life. Again.”

Ahsoka growled and spun the woman’s chair around. “Tell. Me. What’s. Happening.”

Barriss hissed through her teeth. “I recognized Renking’s aide, the Pryce woman. On Korvala, I noticed her on three separate occasions in different parts of the city. Why was she skulking around during a violent uprising against the very government she serves? While her employer was supposedly engaged in business on Coruscant, I’ll add. Then, not only did the able Arihnda leave the planet safely, she beat us here. Meaning, some level of collusion with the revolutionaries is also probable. All of this implies ulterior motives. It’s possible his lordship isn’t involved, but his reaction to my continued presence was suggestive.”

She gaped. “He hired you to save me! Why do that if he’s working for Dooku? Besides, he’s been a close ally and friend to my father since before I was born.”

Her jaw set. “Your father’s friends haven’t done well by you lately, have they?”

Ahsoka flinched.

“I’m sorry, Princess, but everything you once knew is no longer true. There are no friends in politics, only alliances for mutual advantage. A coup has happened. You’re no longer an advantage.” The lines of her face softened. “You believe in the inherent goodness of people. I saw it while we were being hunted, at the gates with the rebels, and now. It’s an admirable quality but leads you to trust too easily. While it pains me to see that die, you must face reality. When left to their own devices, people do what most benefits themselves.”

She curled fingers into her palms. “Why should I trust you then?”

“That’s the right question. I can only point out there’s no advantage to me, whatever your fate. In fact, protecting you means potentially losing a valuable client and time I could be spending on more profitable endeavors.”

Ahsoka searched her face. “If reality is how you say, why help me when there’s nothing in it for you?”

The woman’s gaze floated away to stare at empty air. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to help it. Perhaps, I’ll never escape who I once was.” Her attention snapped back to Ahsoka. “I understand it’s difficult to believe me without conclusive evidence. However, I’m certain you’re in danger. Let me get you out of here.” A strange waver entered her voice. “Will you trust me?”

She slumped into the co-pilot’s seat. Her world had imploded, multiple people wanted her dead, and those she’d been taught to trust were apparently among them. Now a hired mercenary, who thought her a naive child no less, might be the only one that cared. It was like plummeting down a bottomless pit with no idea how you’d fallen. Amid the darkness, murky crags jutted from the walls as if promising salvation. Grasp the wrong one, and you died. Still, the only person who’d made her feel safe since her life spiraled out of control was sitting next to her. “I trust you,” Ahsoka whispered. “Tell me what to do.”

Barriss inhaled sharply and looked down at her hands. After a few seconds, she lifted her head. “It’s going to be alright.”

Ahsoka gazed at her. “If you say so.”

“You doubt my success rate?”

A small grin crept up. “Never.”

“That’s more like it.” Returning to her console, Barriss finished whatever task she’d been working on. “Ok, we need to play this out. It appears they don’t have a tractor beam, which simplifies matters. However, you Togruta apparently arm your consular ships to the teeth. I’ll have to find a way past their security to release the clamps and probably knock out a weapons array. That will take time. We must act the part of happy, unsuspecting guests until my plan is ready. Can you handle that?”

Ahsoka straightened in her seat. “Depends. Does your plan include me getting to slice something open with your lightsaber? Do I get a matching outfit with badass scales on it?”

Instead of having to imagine her own response, she was surprised to receive a suspiciously amused sounding, “No.” Barriss rose from her seat. “Let’s go, Tunguma Tano. Fortunately, we’re roughly the same build because you need to pick out a couple of regal outfits from my collection. That’s the excuse we gave the surveillance devices most certainly installed in our quarters.”

Her eyes flipped wide. “Does that mean I can’t say anything outside of this ship?!”

“Yes.”

Ahsoka grumbled, “Are you sure your real plan isn’t to shut me up?”

The woman paused by the door with a thoughtful expression. “Huh. Maybe I do see an advantage to this arrangement after all.”

She blinked. “Wait. Did you just make an actual joke?”

Barriss arched eyebrows and then walked out of the cockpit.

Leaping up, Ahsoka ran after her. “Um, that was a joke, right?”

_______

Barriss hovered by the door. “You are going to follow instructions this time, correct?”

“Don’t I always?” Ahsoka replied as she adjusted her headdress.

Her eyes narrowed. “Do not leave until I return.”

“How can I without my shoes?” Barriss was going to sabotage the clamps while everyone was distracted with greeting the dignitaries and preparing for dinner. However, she was also supposed to bring back shoes to match the elegant dress Lord Renking had given her for the occasion.

Barriss continued to hesitate. “Perhaps, one of the other pairs will do. What about the white sandals?”

She blew out a breath. “Absolutely not.” Renking had been extremely attentive and steadfast in his insistence they could take back Shili. Ahsoka regretted believing him disloyal so easily. The aide must be the one with ulterior motives. Lord Renking valued her opinions and treated her as someone worthy of respect. Barriss, on the other hand, continued to treat her like a dim child. Even Renking had noticed and commented on how frustrating it must be to endure. Though, he’d acknowledged it was a common attitude among elite mercenaries. That’s why he only employed them for short-term tasks and used his own people for security. “This is a critical dinner. I must look the part. Now, _Escort._ ”

Her face pinched. “As you wish, _Princess._ ” Spinning around, she exited without another word.

Ahsoka grimaced. Just because Barriss thought her a child didn’t mean Ahsoka should prove her right. She couldn’t seem to help it. The woman made her feel safe and drove her crazy at the same time. Gritting her teeth, she finished getting ready sans shoes.

Sitting on the couch, she mentally prepared herself for tonight. Her role was to help persuade the attending Republic politicians for military and financial support to oust Dooku. Ahsoka intended to exert every ounce of charm she had on the task. Her home might never be the same, but at least she could do something to make things right. And then maybe, just maybe, the nightmares would stop.

Her reverie was interrupted by a door chime. Ahsoka chewed her lip. Should she answer it? Barriss would say no. But, if they had surveillance as the Mirialan insisted, they’d know she was simply staring at the door. Wouldn’t that look suspicious? Besides, if Renking was actually involved in some nefarious plot against her, he could get in using his ship’s security codes, right? Yes, answering seemed wiser. Standing in the doorway but not leaving the confines of her quarters couldn’t be that risky. Pushing the uneasy feeling aside, she got up.

Smoothing her dress, Ahsoka crossed to the door. She tried to palm it open and frowned. Barriss must have sealed it prior to leaving. Of course, the woman hadn’t bothered to tell her.

Annoyance spiking once again, she searched for the override. It took a few tries, but she managed to release the inner security lock. Ahsoka put on a polite smile as the door at last slid open.

The last thing she saw was a blaster and Arihnda Pryce smirking at her. Then, darkness fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's not... good.
> 
> If you had to take a wild guess, how many times do you think the word "trust" gets dropped in Star Wars? Oh, and I don't know the answer. So, I'm sure you're right. Trust your instincts! Or your feelings! Or the Force! Not your eyes, though. Those buggers can deceive you.  
> [Suggested Reader Response: If what you have told me is true, you will have gained my trust.]  
> Seriously? You know better than to trust a strange computer--er, strange author on your computer.  
> Hmm, one reference too far isn't it? Eh, I'll do better next time. Trust me!


	5. Death by a Thousand Cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One can only hope the chapter title is poetic license.

Coming to in a fog, Ahsoka groaned. She started to rub her eyes but couldn’t seem to move her hands. Actually, she couldn’t move her legs either. A confused frown formed as she examined her unresponsive limbs. “W-what?” For some reason, her wrists and ankles were locked into wall binders.

“Ah. Awake at last.”

Following the voice across a grayly lit room, Ahsoka gave her lekku a hard shake. Wait. She’d been shot. “What’s going on?”

“You know,” Arihnda drawled as she switched on a small power generator, “I thought Renking was wrong.” The woman adjusted a dial and then slid a thin, metal rod out of the machine. Electrical energy sparked from the tip as she lazily waved it through the air. “I was convinced the naive and earnest act was just that.” She admired the rod with an unpleasant smile before returning it to the holder. “But no. You really are that stupid.” Strutting over, she grabbed a lek and wrenched Ahsoka’s head up. “You are a prisoner, _Princess._ However, you don’t have to stay that way if you cooperate.”

Cobwebs finally clearing, her stomach knotted. “Why would you want to imprison me?”

There was a harsh laugh. “Oh, poor girl. What it must be like to be you. So lost. A victim of the whims of fate.” Sharp fingernails dug into a lek. “Where is your father’s hidden treasury? How do we access it?”

Ahsoka’s lips parted and then flattened. “That’s what you want? I have no idea.”

The back of the woman’s hand whacked across her face. “Try again.”

Ignoring the sting, she bit out, “I said I don’t know.”

“I said try again.” Arihnda’s fist collided with her mouth.

Her head smacked the wall behind it and then lolled toward the ground. Ahsoka ran a tongue through the frothy blood filling her mouth as she considered options. Barriss should come for her soon, right? Unless the Mirialan had been incapacitated as well. They must’ve considered Barriss a serious impediment and planned to neutralize her. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have waited this long to make their move. Yes, it didn’t feel like abducting her could be a spur of the moment decision. There probably was no dinner.

Oh. Of course, there wasn’t. The ploys seemed so obvious now—a vague group of politicians who might save Shili; the dangling possibility of making things right, maybe even getting a piece of her life back; Renking’s new level of deference; his subtle jabs about Barriss’s condescending attitude, encouraging her to be more forceful; and the final nail in her coffin, a gifted dress with no shoes.

All intended for a single purpose, to separate Ahsoka from her protector. How frustrating it must have been to have her in their grasp, yet not, because the deadly Lady Offee haunted every shadow. Instead, they’d attacked the weak link. Ahsoka had brought herself down. Fitting.

Well, Barriss or no Barriss, they were going to find their efforts in vain. There was only one path Ahsoka Tano would ever take. Drawing herself up, she spit blood at the sneering face. “ _You_ try again.”

A vicious grin spread across the sharp lines of the woman’s visage. “With pleasure.”

_______

The second shock penetrated her montrals, and Ahsoka dropped to her knees. She locked her jaw to prevent a shriek as sensitive nerve endings exploded. Agonizing vibrations rolled in pulsating cycles, warping her equilibrium. She pressed palms into the floor and worked to stabilize herself through the discordant ringing.

Once she’d regained enough control, Ahsoka put as much snark into her tone as she could manage. “Your best isn’t very good, is it?”

There was a growl from Arihnda, but no pain followed it this time. Instead, another voice chuckled. “She’s got spirit.”

Raising her head, Ahsoka saw Lord Renking assessing her. “Traitor.”

He raised eyebrows. “Not at all. I’m doing what I must for the good of Shili. And myself, of course. It’s called politics. You not understanding the concept is why the idea of you leading anything is ludicrous. Though, you can still be of help to Shili. If you provide access to the treasury, we can hire an army to expel Dooku and retake Korvala before he’s able to secure his position.”

“So, you can replace him? No thanks.”

“You haven’t heard my offer yet.” He snapped his fingers, and two guards dragged Ahsoka onto her feet.

She couldn’t stop an audible gasp at the rough movements.

Standing in front of her, Renking lifted Ahsoka’s chin. “I propose a partnership. If I’m going to be the next Emir of Shili, a wife of royal blood would reinforce my legitimacy.”

Her split lip twisted. “Is this how you get women? Torture them and then propose? You disgust me.”

“That’s too bad.” His eyes grazed her figure. “Because you and I are going to be spending quite a bit of time together. You see, the proposal wasn’t optional.” Stepping back, he flicked a hand at his aide. “Surely, you aren’t holding out hope for a rescue? I would’ve thought after two hours of torment, the conclusion would be evident. Do you think me foolish enough to keep you onboard ship with Lady Offee on the loose? Still, given your rather adorable optimism, perhaps you need it spelled out.”

Arihnda strode forward and shoved a pad under Ahsoka’s nose. A recording of the docking bay blipped onto the screen. Barriss was fighting dozens of Renking’s personal security forces.

Ahsoka licked stinging lips as she watched the losing battle. They gradually backed the Mirialan against a shuttle at the far end. Then, a turret gun popped out of the wall. Instead of aiming at Barriss, it delivered a massive blast to the shuttle. The resulting explosion filled the entire screen, and the video whited out.

Her lungs choked. Ahsoka’s only consolation had been the hope that Barriss might have escaped. Now, she knew the truth. She’d gotten the only person that gave a damn about her killed. “Bastards. You already had me. You could’ve just let her go.”

Arihnda cackled. “What nobility and self-sacrifice. How have you made it this far through life with such childish beliefs intact? By letting others do your dirty work?”

“Enough,” Renking commanded. “You are not to speak to my wife in that disrespectful manner.”

Retreating to the other side of the cell with a bow that was too obsequious to be real, Arihnda said sweetly, “Apologies, my lord. I, of course, would never dare such effrontery.”

“Take care you don’t.” The man gave Ahsoka an amiable smile. “Well, Princess? Do you intend to accept reality?” Moving closer, he caressed her cheek. “I’d prefer you didn’t force me to hurt you any further. Consider the advantages. You could return home, spend your days amid luxury and leisure, be given the respect you deserve. I can restore what was stolen from you.” His hand slid down the front of her dress and fondled her breast. “Mmm… I could make your life very pleasant.”

Erupting in a howl, she ripped out of the guard’s grip. Throwing herself at Renking, Ahsoka rammed a knee into his groin with more strength than she thought her body capable of producing.

He yelped and stumbled back, hunching against a wall. After several satisfying whimpers, Renking straightened into a stiff posture. “I believe the Princess needs a lesson in humility.” He drew a curved knife from his belt. “Yes, that dress is not your color at all. Perhaps, you’d be more comfortable without it.”

Getting an arm free, Ahsoka tried to fight him off. Her desperate attempts to intercept the blade sent it careening across a palm and down her left breast in a jagged slash. She screamed and fell back into the guards struggling to keep their renewed hold on her.

Renking tsked. “That was unfortunate. I hadn’t intended my wife’s body to be permanently damaged. If you’d simply obey your husband, these things wouldn’t happen.”

The ringing in her montrals became a roar. She stared numbly at the fresh blood spreading across her already red-splattered dress. Barriss had been right. They all were. She was a child. A foolish girl living in an imaginary world where people were honorable, kind, and brave. Where what you were inside mattered most. A place where justice and truth always prevailed if your principles were true.

Then again, it didn’t matter now. Here she was. They may all be right, but Ahsoka would be damned if they’d take the only thing she had left. She’d live in her dream world and she’d die in it.

Drawing herself up, she spat, “You’re the one who can’t accept reality, _my lord_. Shili’s government no longer exists. You are now nothing more than a two-bit thug with a stolen transport, a pompous bow, and delusions of grandeur.” She barked a laugh. “Domus Renking, the Lord of _Nothing._ ”

His polite smile froze. He motioned to her guards. They shifted positions to restrain her from the front.

Circling behind her, Renking skimmed the flat edge of his dagger along her lekku. An arm snaked around her stomach. Pressing himself against her, he traced her shoulder with the tip of his blade. “Now, that’s better. See how much nicer things are when you cooperate?”

The feel of his touch, the hot breath on her skin, the shiver of cold metal—all of it was paralyzing. As if she were stuck in a nightmare that couldn’t be real. Except, it was.

Clenching her harder, he rubbed himself into her with a low groan. “Oh yes… very nice.” Spongy lips smeared across her neck and then an icy voice whispered, “I’m going to enjoy taming you, my young bride.”

Ahsoka ordered herself to move, to fight, to do _something._ Her traitorous body remained frozen.

The room began to spin. When had she become a victim in her own life? Her life? What life? She didn’t have one anymore. She was floating somewhere outside of herself, not really here. Yet, she was.

Her petrified muscles twitched. Yes, Ahsoka Tano was still here. That meant one thing she could control. Pushing air through her strangled lungs, she snarled, “You’ll fail. I have nothing left to lose except who I am. And you will _never_ get that.”

“We’ll see—” He jerked away from her as a rising whine sounded.

A second later, the ventilation grate blew off the ceiling. Huge chunks of warped metal hurtled into the guards by the exit. Then, a cloaked figure landed in the center of the room. A blue blade hissed to life.

Renking gasped. “You fools!” Barreling through Ahsoka and her guards, he thudded toward the door.

Ahsoka collapsed onto her side but fought to keep blurry vision on the flashing blue. The blade cut through the air on an unerring path. When the saber sliced straight through the neck of its target, Ahsoka let her head follow Renking’s to the floor.

_______

Ahsoka stared at the decapitated head of Lord Renking. He looked so unreal now. Comical, really. The way his vacant eyes bulged reminded her of a goobafish. The stupid, open-mouthed expression on his puffy face only made it worse. She began to giggle.

Blaster fire and shouts echoed from the corridor. As the sounds faded, a voice called, “We’re clear for the moment. Can you run?”

She continued staring at the ridiculous sight, giggles escalating. Someone, probably Barriss she thought, came up behind her.

“Princess?”

Ahsoka kept giggling. She couldn’t seem to stop. “Look! He’s like a gooba. He’s nothing. Nothing at all. No need to be scared of a fish, Barriss.”

A hand grabbed her shoulder. Ahsoka flinched, body recoiling.

The grip vanished and a soothing voice said, “Ok. It’s ok. Can you turn towards me?”

Ahsoka blinked down at the dead fish, trying to process the words.

Barriss appeared at her elbow. “I only need to move you a little, so I can check your injuries. I’ll barely touch you, ok?”

Fingertips laid on Ahsoka’s upper arm. But they felt nice. Like a soft breeze. They guided her away from whatever she’d been looking at before Barriss. Now, there was just Barriss.

Intense blue eyes swept over her. They lingered on the rips in her dress or perhaps it was the new scarlet color. A muscle in Barriss’s jaw twitched. Ahsoka wondered how it did that. She shifted her own jaw around to see if she could make hers do the same thing but didn’t think it was working.

Removing her cloak, Barriss draped it over Ahsoka’s shoulders. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

Her foggy mind snapped into sudden awareness. This didn’t make sense. “Wait. You’re d-dead. I saw it. He made me watch. He said no one was coming to help me. You blew—blew up.”

Barriss grimaced. “You saw what I wanted them to see. It wasn’t real. This is. It took longer than anticipated for me to get here, but I’m definitely here. And I need you to focus for the next few minutes. It’s better if I don’t have to carry you while fighting our way to the docking bay. You’re ready to get out of here, right?”

Pulling the cloak around her, Ahsoka whispered, “Yes.”

She exhaled. “Good, let’s go. Just stay close to me. Can you do that?”

Reaching out, she curled her fingers into the other woman’s. They felt warm, real, safe. “I’ll do any-anything you want. Please, don’t leave me here.”

Barriss locked their hands. “Not happening, Princess. I told you I’d get you off this damned ship. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Then, she tugged Ahsoka into a run.

_______

Ahsoka laid on a cot in the medical alcove of Barriss’s ship, listening to the engines whine. Bursts she thought might be blaster fire peppered the hull. Screeches from grinding metal pierced her montrals. Some kind of storage container with blinking lights on the other side of the space began to rattle. A vibrating whir rose and fell in rhythmic bursts. Curling into a ball, she tried to identify each sound.

Finally, everything went quiet. Only the hum of a ship traversing hyperspace remained.

That was when she realized her lungs needed breath and started gulping air. A spasm jerked her body, followed by a burning sensation in her left breast. She bit her lip and then cried out as pain bit back. Lifting a hand, she gingerly prodded her swollen face. Her arm started to throb. Twisting her head to see what was wrong, Ahsoka couldn’t seem to bring it into focus. Everything looked blurry and off-kilter. Meanwhile, she kept sucking breaths like air might soon cease to exist.

Or, perhaps, she was the one that would cease to exist. There was no need for Princess Ahsoka anymore. Her family, her planet, her home, her purpose, her entire life was gone—stolen bit by bit.

Scrunching herself up as agony rolled across her body, she stared at nothing. Everything hurt. Her words of desperate defiance to Renking felt meaningless now. Ahsoka had intended to die in her dream world, but here she still was. In terrible reality, instead. Why?

How long would the universe make her wait? What more could it force her to suffer before snuffing out the shell of what remained? It couldn’t be much longer. She had nothing left to give.

Well, she still wouldn’t cry. When it all ended, Ahsoka Tano would at least go out like the Princess she no longer was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💔


	6. Step by Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes healing begins with a simple realization. You are not alone.

Barriss finished applying bacta to Ahsoka’s upper calf and then pulled the hem of her dress back down. “That’s everything I can access. Do you… I need to treat any wounds on your torso. That means removing your clothing.”

Holding Barriss’s now balled up cloak, she clutched it against her chest. “There’s nothing else. I’m fine.”

“Fortunately, the medscan showed no major internal damage. However, there were contact burns on your montrals, heavy bruising to your lekku, gashes in your legs, and multiple facial injuries. The restraints lacerated your wrists, which are still swollen. There was bleeding behind the cornea of your right eye as well as a spiral humerus fracture in your arm. The cuts were mostly minor, but the defensive slashes on your palm required sutures and—”

“I don’t need a recap,” Ahsoka snapped. “I was there.”

There was a moment of silence. “I didn’t mean to—I was only pointing out, given what I can see, there’s likely more I can’t see.”

“I said I’m fine.”

The woman blew out a long exhale. “Alright. I’m sure you want to clean up. The bacta wraps and stitches have sealed. You only need to be careful with your freshly mended bone. How about a shower?”

Ahsoka shrugged and then regretted it as pain shot through her throbbing breast.

Leaning over the cot, Barriss met her eyes. “You said you trusted me. Is that still true?”

Her mouth parted. “Of course.”

“Then, why won’t you trust me to help you?”

Ahsoka turned toward the wall without responding. What was the point? All of this was only prolonging the inevitable.

“I promised you everything would be alright,” Barriss continued. “And I meant it. On this ship, we don’t wait for things to get better on their own. We make it happen. In fact, we have a three-step plan. Step one is both the hardest and the easiest. It starts with a choice. You must _choose_ to get up.”

“And do what?” She laughed blankly. “Stare at the wall from a different position?”

“No. You’re going to take a shower. When you feel ready, come back here. I’ll have a surprise waiting for you.”

Ahsoka blinked and then twisted her head back. “What kind of surprise?”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “It’s a surprise.” The woman retrieved a robe from a nearby closet. “After that, we move to step two. You tell me if during your shower you discovered additional injuries, or any part of your body feels not like it should.”

She swallowed. “Why does it matter?”

“Because you being in pain or having complications from an untreated wound is not making things better. We don’t have to talk about how it happened. I’ll simply heal anything you find, alright?”

Ahsoka tightened her hold on the cloak.

Barriss moved back to the cot. “You can handle it. I’ve seen what you’re capable of, and it’s much more than step two.”

Warmth flushed her cheeks. “Do you actually believe that?”

“Yes.” Her tone lightened. “Besides, if you’re going to stay with me for a while, you’ll need to be in top form. Everyone pulls their own weight on this ship.”

Ahsoka’s heart skipped a beat. “I can stay here? Like really stay?” She rolled to face Barriss. “Why let me? I’m not a job anymore. I can’t pay you. I don’t even have any useful skills. Like you said, there’s no advantage. I’m no one. Nothing.” She tucked her chin into her chest. “You’re better off just dropping me on the nearest planet.”

“Look at me.”

She reluctantly lifted her head.

Barriss locked their eyes. “I say you are something. That’s why.”

Ahsoka gazed up at her. “I don’t understand.”

“Understanding isn’t required. It’s my reason. All you have to do is accept it.” Her lips quirked. “You’re regressing into bad habits. I’ve given you strict instructions. Are you refusing to follow them yet again?”

A grin tugged at Ahsoka’s mouth. “Isn’t that why you like me?”

“No.”

“Uh-huh. Truth’s out.”

Barriss set the bathrobe beside her. “Shower, Princess.”

“Wait. You didn’t tell me step three.”

The woman began sanitizing her medical instruments. “No. I didn’t.”

“That’s not fair,” Ahsoka whined. “How do I know it’s worth it to get to number three if I don’t know what it is?”

“Guess you’ll have to take my word for it. Because you won’t find out until proving you can complete one and two properly.”

She sat up with a muttered, “Ridiculous.” Ahsoka hesitantly released her grip on Barriss’s cloak and picked up the robe. Squeezing the terry fabric between her fingers, she stared at it. A shower couldn’t hurt, right? Actually, it sounded nice.

Sliding off the cot, Ahsoka flexed bare toes against the floor. The feel of the warm metal was calming. Taking a deep breath, she held it for a few seconds and then slowly exhaled. “My surprise better be good, Escort.”

“Shower, Princess.”

Her split lip stretched into a grin as Ahsoka started step one.

_______

Ahsoka talked to herself in the mirror. “Come on. Barriss isn’t the one who hurt you. Why don’t you want her to fix the problem?”

As she dried her lekku, Ahsoka realized she did actually feel a little better. The sluggish muscles had loosened, and her thoughts were sharper. Disposing of the now despised dress and cleansing every inch of her body had also felt good. “See? Barriss was right about the shower. You should let her help with the rest, right?”

Prodding the inflamed skin surrounding the slash in her breast, she winced. Unfortunately, the shower hadn’t solved this problem. In fact, the water had only added a painful sting to the pulsing throb. Now, a thin layer of blood was once more seeping from the wound.

Dabbing it away, Ahsoka gazed at her reflection. She looked more like herself again, yet somehow less. Who was looking back at her now? Did it even matter?

As Ahsoka slid on her robe, her mind settled onto one thought. If her protector believed she could handle things, maybe… she could?

Ahsoka gave herself a nod. “You can handle this.”

_______

Padding back into the alcove, she found Barriss readying specific medical supplies. _‘You already know about my breast, don’t you?’_

_‘Yes.’_

Ahsoka pasted a grin. “Miss me?”

Barriss turned around. “How was your shower?”

“Very showery.”

“Good.” The woman stood beside the cot in an expectant silence.

Ahsoka’s hands began trembling. Dropping her gaze to the floor, she mumbled, “My, er, chest has an injury. I think it might be bad.”

“Ok. Let’s make it better.”

Releasing a shaky exhale, Ahsoka crossed to her. She lowered herself onto the edge of the cot and pressed palms into it. “Wait. What about my surprise?” Thrusting out her chin, she insisted, “We can’t do step two without finishing step one, you know. That just wouldn’t be proper.”

The corners of her mouth twitched. “Fair.” Walking to a table, she returned with a stack of clothing and set it next to her. “Your new badass outfit.”

Ahsoka gasped and then picked up the leather bodysuit that matched Barriss’s. “This is mine?” Shaking out the garment, she rolled the scaled fabric between her fingers. It was tougher than she’d expected but more flexible. “And it’s green! That’s my favorite color.”

“Yes, fortunately, I was able to locate the ‘green like a forest’ version. I couldn’t possibly live with myself if I made you wear that neon kinda green.”

She grinned happily at the woman. “I knew you were listening.” Her grin faded. “Are you sure? You’ve already done a lot for me. This kind of specialized attire probably isn’t cheap or easy to replace, right?”

“I wouldn't have given it to you if I didn’t want you to have it.” She paused. “You only have dresses. Those can make you feel—that type of clothing is more… vulnerable. Maybe think of this as your armor.”

Ahsoka clutched her gift, throat burning. “Thank you.”

Barriss hesitated for a moment and then lifted her hand. Laying it on Ahsoka’s cheek, she said quietly, “When I lost everything, these clothes were part of my first step. A small thing, but it helped me. I thought they might do the same for you.”

It was too much. The comforting touch that demanded nothing in return. Genuine words that meant someone understood. A stable presence she could hold onto amidst the chaos. The simple truth it all conveyed. She wasn’t alone. 

Something burst inside of her as the feeling washed over Ahsoka’s battered heart. A flood of pain, anger, helplessness, and terror gushed out. Then, the tears she’d sworn to destroy swamped her face. Twisting away, Ahsoka wiped frantically. “S-sorry. I said I wouldn’t—I never cry.” But she couldn’t seem to stop. “Dammit!”

“Hey, it’s ok.” A hand returned to her face and guided it back to Barriss. “Everyone cries sometimes.”

The tears kept rolling as she choked out, “Not princesses.”

“That sounds like a silly rule.” Barriss ran the back of her fingers across Ahsoka’s cheeks, gently drying the wet skin. “Besides, you can make your own rules now.”

She blinked at her through foggy vision. It was true. If she wasn’t a princess anymore, what was she? Anything she wanted to be. A sliver of light broke through the darkness. “Guess so. I’ll have to figure out what mine are, huh?”

Giving a final brush of her thumb, Barriss dropped her hand. “Actually, that’s step three.”

“Oh.” She tried to flash her A+ but wasn’t sure it came off. “Look at that. I’m a natural.”

An eyebrow arched. “Getting cocky already.”

“Of course.” She licked her lips. “I mean, why not? I’ve got you to help me, right?”

“Yes.”

Her heart soared. Grin solidifying, she opened her robe. “In that case, we’d better fix me up so I can be in top form.” The response was something Ahsoka wasn’t sure she’d ever expected to see. 

A real smile lit Barriss’s face. “Good plan, Princess.”

As the woman examined her breast, she murmured, “Ahsoka. Call me Ahsoka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🛠♥ That felt nice.


	7. Life Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka struggles to find her place in a new reality.

“I have news.”

Ahsoka started at the unexpected voice behind her. Stumbling mid-spin, she flailed into the training bag. Regaining her balance and a smidgen of dignity, she threw a glare over her shoulder. “Your pronouncement couldn’t have waited until I finished my kick?”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “Are you under the impression your opponents will remain absolutely quiet as you attack them?”

“Fine.” She stalked across the training area of the hold and grabbed her canteen. “Well, what is this amazing news?”

“Dooku believes you’re dead.”

Ahsoka choked on her water. She slapped her chest and coughed out, “H-he… does?”

“Yes.”

Wiping her mouth, she awaited additional clarification. However, Barriss merely gazed at her. “I don’t suppose you’d like to share the specifics of this outcome. _Perhaps,_ something along the lines of why and how?”

The woman sighed and folded arms across her chest. “It’s complicated. While on Renking’s ship, I sliced together pieces of security footage. As we escaped, I imprinted a matching timestamp. It showed me abandoning you to save myself and you then perishing in a docking bay explosion. That would be the natural conclusion for them to make, anyway.”

Of course. Totally natural. That’s how reality worked after all. Why would anyone risk their own skin for a useless child? Ahsoka took another swig of water and then hung her canteen back on its peg. “How did someone find your fake video? I thought you said the ship blew up shortly after we escaped.”

“It did.” Barriss’s expression pinched. “Before fleeing whatever happened, the Pryce woman apparently had enough time to review the security tapes.”

Her fingers automatically rubbed the arm that same woman had broken. “I didn’t realize she’d escaped.” Ahsoka had assumed there were no survivors from what she mentally termed ‘the incident’. Even those escaping Barriss’s saber would have been killed in the ship’s destruction. The incident was over. Done with. No need to think about it anymore. Except, the illusion wasn’t true. One of her tormentors still being out there shouldn’t make such a difference. Yet, it did.

“Unfortunately, she scurried away while I dealt with Renking. I’d hoped the rat had gone down with the ship but no.”

“Um, so she told Dooku I was dead?”

Barriss tapped her foot. “Of course. I expect she was already hedging her bets by providing intel on Renking to Dooku. They were the two most likely victors of a secondary power struggle. According to my sources, Pryce reported half of Renking’s staff revolted. In their attempt to commandeer the ship, they damaged the engine core. There was no mention of my presence. More importantly, she claims to have executed you personally prior to fighting her way to an escape pod.”

“Ok…” These random facts weren’t connecting. She wasn’t sure how many stupid questions Barriss would tolerate but plowed forward. Ahsoka refused to be the victim of a reality she didn’t understand ever again. “That explains why Dooku believes I’m dead. But why does it also mean she saw your doctored recording?”

Her head cocked. “Telling such a blatant lie to Dooku would be suicidal, unless she was certain you were dead and he’d never be able to verify the details. Her only way to gain that level of confidence is from the falsified footage. The suspicious destruction of the ship and therefore all witnesses after our departure lends support, as well. Besides, if she’d thought your status questionable, her story would’ve been much different.”

The headache that had been haunting Ahsoka for the last few weeks throbbed once more. Massaging her temples, she tried to process the logic. “Different how?”

Barriss swept eyes over Ahsoka with a slight frown. “By putting the blame on me instead of Renking. If she couldn’t report your death, she needed to give Dooku another piece of actionable intel. This strategy raises her fortunes, doesn’t antagonize a deadly mercenary, reserves information on me for potential leverage, and accounts for the facts as she knows them. It also worked. No bounty has been posted for you, and the able Arihnda is now City Governor Pryce of Korvala.”

The idea of that woman reigning over her former home should’ve spurred anger, but it didn’t. Ahsoka couldn’t work up the energy. “Guess that makes sense. So, as long as I don’t go around advertising who I was, no one will be looking for me?”

“Yes.”

She pasted a grin. “Great. Got it. Thanks.”

Her lips pursed. “You don’t appear glad to no longer be a hunted fugitive.”

Ahsoka wasn’t really but had no clue why. It didn’t seem important somehow. Yet, she knew it was. “Sorry, I’m just tired today. Though, I am grateful for your help in making it happen,” she rushed to add. “And, of course, for saving me in the first place.”

The woman gazed at her for a moment. “I wanted to help.” Her tone lightened. “Anyway, I interrupted a spinning roundhouse. Let’s see it.”

Sweat sprang across her forehead. “Erm, I kinda wanted to practice more before showing you my progress.”

“Why? There’s no point in practicing flawed technique. You then have to unlearn what you’ve incorrectly learned.”

_‘Yeah, but what if you realize I’m terrible at this and don’t want to bother with me anymore?’_

_‘Are you under the impression you can fool me forever, Princess?’_

Ahsoka slumped. “Right. Sure. Why not?” Sliding her leg back, she tucked her arm and coiled her muscles.

“Stop.”

Cringing, she dropped her gaze to the mat. “I’m doing it wrong already?”

“No.” Barriss moved in front of her. “The stance was fine. You are not. What’s going on?”

Ahsoka shrugged.

“Tell me.” There was a pause and then Barriss added quietly, “Please.”

Her head popped up at the never before uttered word. “It’s just—I don’t want to mess up.”

“You’re trying things you’ve never tried before. You should be messing up. That’s part of the learning process.”

Licking her lips, she ventured, “So, you don’t expect me to be good at stuff by now?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Of course not.”

“What if I… never get the hang of any of it?”

“It’s a little early to worry about that, don’t you think? You’re three weeks into a new life.”

She wrapped arms around her stomach. “Maybe.”

Barriss exhaled. “Ahsoka, everyone has different aptitudes. If spinning kicks end up not being your thing, we’ll find your thing. Maybe your talents lie in tech, piloting, healing, negotiation, or any number of areas. Focus on the present and we’ll figure out the rest as we go. Alright?”

Ahsoka straightened. There were apparently other ways to make herself useful. “Ok, I think I can handle that.”

“Good.” Barriss nudged her side. “Now, show me what we’re focusing on today.”

The throbbing in her head returned to manageable levels, and she threw up a sloppy salute. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

_______

“Bang-up job, Ahsoka.” She prodded the streak of fire seared down the side of her face. Looking up at the exit hatch that had sealed when she’d sparked the circuit panel, Ahsoka started giggling.

Pain spiked higher at the facial movements, and she forced her inane laughter to a halt. Then, another thought occurred to her. Would Barriss think to look for her in the access space for the engine? She could be stuck here for a long time. Her protector had vanished this morning to complete a job, leaving Ahsoka to her own devices. Definitely, a choice the woman was going to regret.

Maybe she could fix this. Ahsoka glanced around at the various banks of equipment. Most of them were blinking green and yellow but a few were red. One was purple. What did purple mean? Had she shorted out the entire power grid for the ship or just the hydraulics on the hatch? Maybe the purple was an emergency generator kicking in. Or some engineer just wanted a different color for their… equipment thingy.

_‘See, what happened was—I mean you always look so tired after you’re out all day, doing whatever you do. I saw the alert on the bad power coil and thought I could help. That way, when you got back, you wouldn’t have to work half the night. You know, like a surprise.’_

_‘Let me make sure I’m understanding, Princess. You took it upon yourself to perform a mechanical repair to my ship that you have no experience or knowledge in doing?’_

_‘It wasn’t, um, well—ok, yes. But I looked up instructions, and it seemed easy enough.’_

_‘Evidently not.’_

_‘Hey, at least I didn’t blow up the ship. That’s something, right?’_

_‘No.’_

The flashing pinpricks of light began to blur together. Sagging against her purple whatever it was, she asked no one, “Could you be any more useless, Ahsoka?”

_‘No.’_

She stared at the scorched power assembly across from her, eyelids drooping shut. Ahsoka was just so tired.

_______

“I can’t believe you decided to replace a power coil on your own. People have died from oversparks. What in Force’s name were you thinking?”

Ahsoka rolled her shoulders.

Stabbing a button on the cabinet, Barriss jerked out her medical supplies. “That’s not an answer.”

Curling fingers into her palms, Ahsoka knew what had to be done. It was the knowledge she’d been denying for six weeks now. “It’s ok,” she rasped and slid off the cot. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore.”

Barriss spun around. “What?”

Ahsoka produced the best smile she could manage. “I’ll go. Thanks for everything. You’ve put up with a lot.”

Her lips parted and then pressed together. “Sit, Princess.”

She shook her head. “This life isn’t for me. I’m never going to be helpful to you. Now, I’m damaging your livelihood. I need to face reality. It’s time to handle things on my own.”

Barriss’s expression tightened, a muscle in her jaw twitching. “If that’s what you want, it’s your choice. However, I’m not letting you go anywhere until I treat your injury. Sit.”

Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she relented. “I guess starting a new life would be better without my face feeling like it’s on fire.” Shuffling back, Ahsoka settled on the cot. Realizing her hands were trembling, she smashed her palms into it.

The woman slowly walked over and started cleaning her burn. After a few moments, Barriss asked, “Where will you go?”

Ahsoka considered. “I don’t know. What planet are we on?”

“Does it matter?”

She grunted. “Probably not.”

“This might sting a little.” Swabbing along her injury, Barriss continued, “You don’t have any credits to start out on, right? How will you support yourself?”

Ahsoka hadn’t thought about that. It didn’t seem important right now. Though, she knew it was. “I’ll figure something out, I guess.”

Turning to her medical tray, Barriss ripped a bacta pack open. “Have you even eaten today?”

“Can’t remember.”

The woman sucked breath into her cheeks and then let it out. “Alright. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. I know you were trying to help.”

Dropping her head, Ahsoka rubbed throbbing temples. “I’m not sure why I thought I could. It was stupid.”

“That isn’t true. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve learned quite a bit. This is a good example. You never would’ve dared to touch the engine assembly a month ago.” She snorted. “In fact, you wouldn’t have even known what a power coil was.”

Her gaze lifted to Barriss. “Maybe.”

The woman cut a long, rectangular strip off the bacta patch. “I’d rather you attempt new things when I’m here is all. We can at least keep you from killing yourself.”

Ahsoka sighed. “I’d just mess it up another way, though.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “You doubt my success rate?”

One side of her mouth curved up. “Never.”

“That’s more like it.” Squinting at the burn, Barriss leaned her face within six inches of Ahsoka’s and began applying the resized patch.

Her senses locked onto every facet of the woman’s presence. Gentle fingers strayed across her cheek. Warm breath fluttered over a lek. It felt nice. More than nice.

The fingers paused for a moment as Barriss asked quietly, “Do you really want to leave?”

Clearing her throat, she whispered, “No.”

Barriss let out a soft exhale and then finished sealing the strip. “There. All better.” Straightening, she ran a finger along her completed work. “Let’s go, Princess. First, dinner. Then, we have a power coil and some burned out circuits to replace.”

“Are you sure you want my help?”

“Yes.”

“What if I mess it up?”

“Not happening.” The corners of her mouth twitched. “ _If_ you follow instructions.”

A grin crept onto her face. “Don’t I always?”

_______

Ahsoka jerked up, breaths coming hard and fast.

“I’m here.” A hand gingerly rested on her shoulder. “It was a dream. This is reality.”

She squinted at Barriss in the night lighting of their quarters, working to ground herself. Ahsoka focused on the diamond tattoos, the fingers pressed into her shoulder, and the feeling of not being alone. Her lungs settled into a steady rhythm, muscles relaxing as the terrible images faded into the background. “Thanks. I woke you again, though. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You can’t control your dreams.” Barriss sat on the edge of her bunk. “What was it about this time?”

Laying back down, she fixed on the ceiling. “Renking. Only you didn’t come and he—” Ahsoka shuddered as the imagined touch invaded her mind once more. The scar on her breast throbbed, though she knew that couldn’t be real either.

Something close to a growl sounded. “Death was too good for that bastard. I should have made him suffer.”

Eyes darting to Barriss at the rare display of anger, she coughed. “Anyway, no idea why I still—I mean it’s not as if he actually—” She plastered a grin. “All’s well that ends well, right?”

Her expression softened. “Has it?” Fingertips brushed across Ahsoka’s cheek. “I wish I could help make it better.”

Ahsoka gazed up at her. “You already do.”

The slight curve of lips that created Barriss’s version of a smile appeared. “That’s something, I suppose.”

_______

“Dammit!” Ahsoka flung her blaster at the wall. As it bounced off and skidded across the training mat, she slumped to the ground. “Why can’t I do this?”

Maybe a different weapon would be better? This DL-44 was a bit heavy. Though, she’d already tried Barriss’s lighter sporting pistol. And two different types of rifles. Oh, and the ascension gun. Ahsoka tucked knees against her chest and glowered at the pristine target.

She’d taken down jackrabbits at thirty paces with her hunting bow. Yet, striking an unmoving, metal bullseye with an energy bolt apparently wasn’t within her capabilities. Why?

“It’s different, Ahsoka,” she muttered. “Everything is different. Stop trying to be what you no longer are.”

As it was wont to do these days, Ahsoka’s mind wandered into the past. Images from her first hunt swirled as her mother stroked her lekku. _“Don’t give up, little one. The other children have more experience than you. Their success has no bearing on your own capabilities. Being royalty doesn’t make you not Togruta. You only need to learn how to harness what’s already there. Now, stop pouting and try again.”_

Ahsoka murmured, “ _Not_ being royalty doesn’t make you not Togruta either.” She rose to her feet and retrieved the weapon. “Everything may be different, but you’re still Ahsoka Tano.”

Moving to the center of the space, Ahsoka lifted the blaster and focused across the sightline. Centering the target, she let herself meld into the environment. The metal floor squeaking, her right leg tensing, the hyperdrive vibrating… sweat beading on her upper lip, warmth rising from the blaster coils, the texture of the grip under her fingers… She could feel it all.

The blaster kicked in her hand as Ahsoka Tano shot bolt after bolt into the bullseye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-oh! Apologies for the late chapter this week. Unfortunately, the day job has turned into a night and weekend job. I'll try to keep as close to weekly updates as I can but might need a little extra time for the next few weeks. Gotta pay the bills to keep pumping out the fanfic. :) Hopefully, it was worth the wait!


	8. Asset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as·set /ˈaset/  
>  _noun ___  
> a useful or valuable thing, person, or quality.
> 
> Good assets are hard to find. Or so I've heard.

“Ahsoka, use this.”

She gasped as the lightsaber shot through her cell’s food slot. Snatching it from the air, Ahsoka stared at the wild imaginations of her childhood come to life. “Woah.”

Dragging her gaze up, she just caught a faint smile on Barriss’s face. Then, the Mirialan drew her blaster and took up position by the door to keep the next wave of guards at bay.

Her eyes returned to the saber, roving across every inch of the minimalist design. Other than two black bands framing the grip, it was a simplicity of silver. The real thing was certainly more elegant than the sticks she had swung around as a child. It was also heavier than she’d expected. Still, the weight felt good in her hand.

Ahsoka ignited the saber and swept it through empty space. A silly grin formed as she experimented with the range of hums. “I so should have volunteered to get arrested three months ago.”

“ _Now_ , Princess.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” She smirked and then examined her cell’s door lock. Instead of slicing through it, Ahsoka cut a square around the entire mechanism. Flourishing the tip of her blade, she jabbed the diced section. “Take that!” It plopped to the ground and the door hissed open. Her silly grin returned. “Cool.”

“Are you quite done?” Barriss fired off several warning shots into the corridor. “Don’t forget the objective you’ve hopefully located between no doubt plentiful chats with your guards.”

“Working on it, bossy.” Slashing open the evidence locker on the far wall, she scanned for the case number her guards had let slip. Finding it near the top, she hacked through the security box. “Got it.” She grabbed the bag containing the crystal they’d been hired to retrieve.

As she joined Barriss, she snapped into sudden alertness. There was… danger. Ahsoka whipped up the blade and deflected an incoming blaster bolt she didn’t know was there.

Jerking around, Barriss stared at her.

Ahsoka looked down at the saber and then back to her. “Hey, did I just do something badass?”

Corners of her mouth twitching, Barriss took the weapon from her hand. “Let’s go, Badass.” Then, they escaped with their prize.

_______

“You’re not moving. I thought you wanted to pilot a long-range flight?”

Ahsoka sat back in the seat and crossed her arms. “I don’t like it, Barriss.”

The woman exhaled. “Not this again. Ahsoka, you’re a mercenary at the moment. Mercenaries do illicit things.”

“Yeah, but this is different. The guy wants us to steal intel from the rightful ruler of this place. What if he plans to use it for… bad stuff?”

Barriss looked up from her datapad. “Oh. I guess I should have given you more detail. Sorry, I’m not accustomed to sharing information.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Don’t get pouty, Princess. You want your questions answered? Ask me specifics. Don’t just whine about it being illegal when almost everything we do is against somebody’s law.”

She ground her teeth. “That’s never gotten me anywhere before. Your answers consist of yes and no. Usually repeated.”

One side of her mouth edged up. “Fair. I’ll try to do better. Satisfied?”

“Maybe.” Ahsoka fixed her with an intent gaze. “Why are we doing this, and who is it going to hurt?”

Barriss sighed. “In the last four months, have I done anything that suggests I take whatever job comes along, no questions asked? I’m not a bounty hunter. I don’t have a morally blind code. My reputation for operating that way is well established. Speaking of, it significantly limits my clientele and volume. I hope you didn’t have dreams of living high like a Hutt.”

“Gah!” Ahsoka slapped hands to her cheeks, mouth gaping wide. “Now, you tell me?! I custom ordered jewel-encrusted bunks for our quarters, Barriss. They have a no refund policy! I can’t believe this. Alright. There’s nothing for it. We need to infiltrate the bed company headquarters and erase my order ASAP.” For a shining moment, Ahsoka was certain she’d at long last elicited a laugh from her ridiculously inexpressive companion.

Alas, the sound that should’ve been her greatest achievement turned out to be a breathy snort. “My apologies for the late notification on our lack of riches. How shall I make amends? Perhaps, a spectacularly green—but definitely not neon—blanket instead?”

“Hmph. Throw in a matching fluffy pillow, and I may consider it.”

“Request noted, Princess.” The amusement faded as she continued, “We do have to make a living in a messy galaxy, Ahsoka. I try my best to not cause more harm than good, but that’s not as simple as it sounds. The right choice isn’t always clear or there aren’t any good ones to be had. However, doing nothing isn’t an option. Survival demands action.” Her tone flattened. “Moralistic high-horses are the luxury of those who don’t live in reality.”

She glanced over as the woman fell silent. Barriss’s eyes were distant and clouded. Ahsoka thought she detected a hint of pain behind the blank gaze. Chewing her lip for a few seconds, she decided to leave it alone. “Right. And was there an answer to my questions somewhere in there?”

Barriss refocused on her. “Yes. We won’t knowingly accept any job that might hurt people _unless_ it’s to stop them from hurting others. This is one of those. The governor of Dermos enslaved hundreds of native villagers. If we obtain intel on the labor camp, it will help Nightswan plan an operation to liberate them. So, it doesn’t come without consequences but acceptable ones in my view.”

Ahsoka frowned. “Slavery is illegal. Why doesn’t the Republic do something about this governor?”

“The outer rim is lawless. Crime syndicates and mini-despots control nearly everything. The Republic doesn’t seem to have the wherewithal or will to put a stop to it.” She paused. “That’s one reason I turned down a more lucrative contract to take this job instead.”

“You did? What was the other one?”

“Nothing dramatic, a bodyguard assignment for a corporate magnate. I just thought… you always want to help the random people we encounter, even when it’s not feasible to do so.”

“Like when you insisted stopping those priests from being robbed on Corellia would delay us too much?” she replied peevishly. “Then, threw a fit when I tried to do it anyway? Oh, but wait. We still successfully completed that job.”

Her face pinched. “We got lucky. If I hadn’t turned around in time to realize you’d disobeyed my instructions _again_ and were about to be blasted into oblivion, you’d be dead. And if the target transport hadn’t needed a last-minute repair, the objective would have been gone by the time we arrived.”

She glared. “It was worth the risk.”

Barriss rubbed her forehead. “You thought it was. You always think it is. That’s what I’m—do you remember at the Korvala gates, when I said Jedi defend those who can’t defend themselves? And you told me I sounded like I believed it?”

“Um, yeah.”

“I thought I didn’t anymore, though.” Her gaze drifted to the bustling docking bay outside of their cockpit window. “That’s what Jedi claim to be, yes. I was raised with that belief. Now, it feels like the hypocrisy I left behind. It’s a hollow platitude of people who live in their own bubble, outside of harsh reality. Yet, I’ve found myself reconsidering that assessment lately. Perhaps, there’s a middle path between cold practicality and empty idealism.”

Ahsoka tried to sort out where this was going. “So, it’s not… you’re suggesting that… erm, what?”

Intense eyes returned to hers. “I’m still not sure I believe it, but you do. The corporate magnates can afford to have the best to protect them. These villagers can’t. I thought maybe we’d give that middle path a shot. Choosing this job means higher expenses, more trouble, and definitely no jewel-encrusted beds. However, it also means making a living while helping people the rest of the galaxy has forgotten.”

Her heart swelled. “Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place?” Grabbing the flight controls, she pulled back on the throttles. “Let’s go free some slaves, Escort.”

Barriss settled into her seat with a slight smile. “Good plan, Princess.”

_______

“You look worried.”

“About the dinner _you’ll_ be cooking tonight.” Ahsoka continued circling, awaiting an opportunity to strike.

Barriss snorted and rotated with her. “Clear your mind. Center your thoughts. Anticipate mine. What am I going to do next?”

“Lose?” Spotting her chance as the Mirialan shifted her weight, Ahsoka jumped forward. That’s when her opening vanished.

Barriss blocked the punch and then spun behind her. Hooking an arm around Ahsoka’s neck, she bent her into a headlock.

Struggling in the hold, Ahsoka clutched at the immobilizing arm. She managed to slide her leg behind the other woman’s and then thrust herself backward. Barriss tripped over the still in place leg, and they both slammed onto the padded training mat. Ripping out of the grip, Ahsoka stumbled to her feet.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t get enough distance before Barriss tackled her. She attempted to wriggle out from underneath, face smashing into the mat repeatedly. When Barriss pulled her arms behind her back, Ahsoka’s stomach dropped. It was the move she hated. The one that defeated her every blasted time. Sure enough, a knee dug into her lower back and it was over. “Dammit!”

“Is that a concession, Princess?”

Ahsoka growled and fought to escape. It never worked, but she continued to try.

“Guess that’s a no. Can we institute a twenty-minute time limit on the ‘Ahsoka refuses to give in’ motif? I had a crick in my spine the entirety of yesterday evening.”

“That’s what you get for being so damned irritating.”

Barriss clucked her tongue. “It can’t be good for your arms to stay in this position for an extended period, especially when _you_ have to cook dinner tonight.”

“We’re totally having leftovers.” Ahsoka made another half-hearted attempt to free herself but then slumped onto the mat. “Fine. You win.”

“Well, that’s new.” The hold released, and Barriss hopped up. “It usually takes longer than the fight for you to concede it.”

Flipping onto her back, she shot a glare. “You tricked me into attacking. Again.”

Barriss wrapped a cooling towel around her own neck before tossing one to Ahsoka and stretching out beside her. “I did.”

Rubbing her sweat-drenched face, Ahsoka waited for the panting to subside. Then, she laid flat and stared at the ceiling. “And I fell for it. Again.”

“You did.”

Blowing out a puff of breath, she asked, “Why are you still bothering with me?”

“What?”

Ahsoka looked at her. “I’m not that helpful in a fight. Sometimes I even cause them, like that bar brawl on Nar Shaddaa last week. I can fly the ship but not if we’re in a crunch. When you’re negotiating, I always think the supposed final offer is fair. Then, you get another 15%. I grind us to a halt trying to save every tooka cat up a tree. There are probably many reasons you hate sharing quarters with me, but one is definitely because I’m messier than a sarlacc pit. And I talk too much. The reason you keep me around is…?”

“Hmm… you cook me dinner every night?” A gleam that Ahsoka now easily recognized as amusement flickered in her eyes. “Though, I also find your habit of climbing trees adorable.”

She groaned. “I’m serious, Barriss.”

“You know what I’m going to say. You’re judging yourself against an unfair standard. Again. You couldn’t program a navicomputer when we first met. Two months later, you nearly blew your face off replacing a power coil. Now, you can rebuild half the ship’s engine. During our first hand-to-hand lesson, your combat style consisted of wild thrashing. Today, you expertly broke my headlock. Soon, you’ll figure out how to avoid my reverse submission hold. It takes time to master things. Compare yourself to _you._ ”

Massaging her temples, she sighed. “I know.” That wasn’t really her question. Of course, Ahsoka also wasn’t sure she actually wanted an answer.

Rolling onto her side, Barriss gazed at her. “Do you realize how much you've accomplished in six months? As a pilot, you can hold your own in a dogfight with relatively even odds. The opposing offer usually _is_ fair. I just want better. Trying to fit in saving every lost soul you happen upon has honed your analysis, speed, and coordination. You’re a match for standard opponents in melee, more than in ranged combat. Honestly, if you’d just deign to pick up your clothes once a week, we might reach Nirvana.”

She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “If you say so.”

Barriss frowned. “I do.”

Ahsoka wrapped arms around her stomach and flashed a quick grin. “Maybe I’ll stick around then.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“I know,” she replied airily. “Hey, wait a minute. You forgot to contradict the part about me talking too much.”

The woman cocked an eyebrow. “No, I didn’t.”

Ahsoka fought to keep a straight face. “Uh-huh. Don’t worry. I understand if you can’t admit how much you enjoy my conversational acumen.”

Barriss grunted. “When’s dinner, Princess? All this chit-chat is making me hungry.”

Waving a superior hand, she declared, “I shall consider appeasing your request in due time, Escort.” The nagging question continued to simmer, however. Unable to let it go this time, Ahsoka blurted, “It is ok, right? I know you said I’m improving, but that doesn’t make me much help to you now. I’m not a child you need to take care of anymore. If I’m getting in the way or endangering you, I can move on.”

Her mouth parted and then tightened. “Do you want to leave?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I like being with y—here. I even like most of the work we do.” She shifted attention to the ceiling. “It’s just I know you let me stay because I have nowhere else to go.”

“Why would you believe that? If I only felt sorry for you, I’d have dropped you at a Republic war refugee center after you recovered. You realize I’m not your only option, right? With the credits you’ve saved and your new skills, you could start a new life somewhere.”

“I suppose. I’ve never really thought about anything else.” She hesitated. “But I can if you need me to. I’ll understand.”

“Ah.” Resting a hand on Ahsoka’s face, Barriss turned it back to hers. “You’re asking if I actually _want_ you around but also can’t figure out why I would. Is that it?”

She grimaced. “Yeah, guess so.”

A slight smile curled her lips. “Alright, since you seem convinced you aren’t an asset, I shall provide objective reasons why this arrangement has merit for me. You’re already an expert in interspecies customs and social dynamics, which was helpful on the Mygeeto and Hosnian jobs. Your constant dedication to learning everything else has yielded impressive results. Given time, I expect you’ll outstrip me in several areas. You have a talent for piloting, marksmanship, and tracking, for instance.”

Heat speckled Ahsoka’s neck. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you believe that’s true. I’m nowhere close to your level.”

“You will be,” Barriss murmured. “Do you know why elite mercenaries work alone?”

“Why?”

“Because anyone good enough to help you can’t be trusted not to kill you.” Her thumb skimmed along the bridge of Ahsoka’s nose before returning to her cheek. “You can.”

Enjoying the woman’s touch, she almost forgot to respond. “Oh, er, makes sense.”

“Also, I’ve seen how much you can handle. I don’t have to worry about you falling apart or running out on me in a crisis. You don’t give up.”

“I’m not sure I deserve credit for that. It was touch and go for a while. I only didn’t give up because…” She lowered her voice. “... I had you.”

A rare full smile blossomed. “That doesn't change what I said. I’d be foolish to throw away such a valuable asset, wouldn’t I?” Her gaze wandered over Ahsoka’s face. Trailing fingers down the side, she said quietly, “You are exceptional, Ahsoka Tano.”

Her breathing sped up a notch. It wasn’t unusual for Barriss to touch her anymore. A tug of impatience on her arm, a comforting brush of her cheek, even grabbing her hand to run had become commonplace. The slow caress at this moment felt different, like the way Barriss touched her in her dreams. The very good dreams. Swallowing, she tried to keep her tone light. “Well, if you want to think I’m amazing, who am I to argue?”

“That’s more like it.” Her eyes glinted. “On a personal note, it’s _usually_ nice to have the company. And, while I’m loath to admit this fact, you do occasionally make me laugh.”

Ahsoka squinted at her. “Barriss. You never laugh.”

“Of course, I do. You just can’t see it.”

“Riiiiight. Silly me for assuming laughter by definition required some sort of outward sign. You know, like an _actual laugh_.”

“Indeed. You should expand your horizons. Oh, I forgot to mention one of your most critical contributions.” Her expression turned deadly serious. “You’re a surprisingly good cook, Princess.”

There was no hope of stopping her own laughter. “Hmm, then before you decide gourmet dinners aren’t worth suffering through all this chit-chat, maybe I’d better fix yours.”

Barriss continued stroking her cheek with a soft, “It can wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, that's nice. I like this chapter. That is all.


	9. Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka shows her stuff, and a new player arrives on the scene.

Leaping into a flying kick, Ahsoka took down the final guerilla fighter. She followed with a decisive punch to his head and then continued her mad dash through the complex. Passing empty room after empty room along the main corridor, she muttered, “Don’t you dare leave me, Barriss Offee.”

They were on Akiva to protect a Republic Senator during an outer rim trade conference. It was supposed to be a simple bodyguard gig. Until it wasn’t. Some sort of local paramilitary group had overrun the meeting complex as well as the government sector surrounding it. Ahsoka had evacuated their client, while Barriss drew the attackers away from their escape route. However, the Mirialan hadn’t emerged from the chaos and wasn’t answering her comm.

To further complicate matters, her mind wasn’t cooperating. During her race back here, the aura of screams, soot, and death had induced dangerous flashes of memory. Ahsoka couldn’t seem to shake it off, despite the comparative quiet of the complex.

A foyer littered with bodies was her mind’s final straw. Spots flared in her eyes, and she pressed palms against a wall to steady herself. Bile rose in the back of her throat. Burning flesh filled her nostrils. Distant cries echoed. Her lungs gulped humid air. Was any of it real?

Concentrating on the texture of the wall she thought her hands were gripping, Ahsoka employed the techniques Barriss had taught her. Working through each sensation, she compartmentalized the past and focused on the present. Soon, the intensity of the feelings dulled as reality returned.

Taking several deep breaths, Ahsoka restarted her search. There was no time for a meltdown.

A minute later, she spotted fresh pockmarks and a string of dead guerillas. “Now, we’re getting somewhere.” Tearing across what had been a meeting room, she followed the trail through an exit at the other end.

Her montrals perked up at distortion vibrations made by blaster bolts pinging off a lightsaber. She turned left and sped down a side corridor. Then, the sounds abruptly died. “No, no, no.”

Reaching what she thought was the origination point, Ahsoka peeked around the corner and squinted through a smoky haze. Her stomach dropped.

Barriss was sitting slumped against the far wall, blood streaming from a burn hole in the chest of her bodysuit. Her lightsaber rested on the opposite side of the room, near Ahsoka’s position, along with a pile of downed enemies. Barriss was rotating her pocket blaster between the three remaining guerillas, who were hovering a few feet away with their weapons likewise trained on her. However, no one looked inclined to fire. They’d somehow separated Barriss from her saber but were now in a stand-off. They could take her out, but at least one of them would die in the effort.

Ahsoka didn’t know what to do. She could jump out blasters blazing, hoping they wouldn’t shoot Barriss in the process. She could try to sneak up behind them without the one standing on the left seeing her. If she took the two clumped together, Barriss could handle Lefty. But the room was open with no cover for stealth. Maybe Barriss had a plan. Ahsoka could try to get her attention and hope the woman would signal an action.

Her hands began to tremble. There was no leeway for a mistake. She couldn’t lose Barriss. Closing her eyes, she took a few quick breaths and reverted to her imaginary version. _‘What should I do?’_

_‘It’s going to be alright, Princess. Clear your mind. Center your thoughts.’_

As she obeyed instructions, calm settled. Her eyes fluttered open and fixed on the saber. It twitched. Heart beating faster, she reached out as she’d seen Barriss do many times and simply asked it to come. The weapon flew off the ground and into her hand. “Woah.”

Confidence rose as Ahsoka gripped the saber. If she could do that, what else could she do? Evaluating the metal beams crossing the ceiling, she smiled.

Barriss coughed. “Well, this is quite a predicament, boys. Whatever shall we do?”

“Kill you,” one snarled.

“If you insist. Doubt it’ll be you that gets to, though. You’re the ugliest. I’d probably choose you to shoot.”

Ahsoka grinned. Slinking around the corner, she slid down the back wall as soundlessly as possible, praying Barriss would keep them distracted.

Another guerilla grunted. “She ain’t wrong about you being ugly, anyway.”

“Thank you, my good man,” Barriss remarked. “Perhaps, I’ll leave you intact. Then again, I hate brownnosers. What about you, strong and silent type? Got a reason for me to let you live?”

The conversation faded into background noise as Ahsoka focused on her task. Hooking the lightsaber on her belt, she concentrated like a moment ago, said a prayer, and launched herself straight up.

Her hands caught a ceiling beam, but the weight of her body falling underneath nearly wrenched Ahsoka’s arms from their sockets. Biting her lip to stop the cry, she took a few seconds to recenter. The calm returned, and she carefully swung rafter to rafter.

Finally, she was hanging above the two guerillas positioned together. The other one was too far away. If this worked, though, his attention should be on her and not Barriss.

“Ok, I’m getting tired,” Barriss said hoarsely. “How about we get this over with?”

Their trigger fingers tightened. “Fine by us,” the ugly one spat.

Ahsoka lit the saber and dropped on top of them. “Me too.” Slashing wildly, she got the job done. There was a shot behind her. Spinning around, she saw smoke wisping from the third guerilla’s chest as he collapsed.

The blaster fell from Barriss’s hand, and she sagged against the wall with a weak smile. “About time, Princess.”

_______

Ahsoka groaned as she deposited Barriss in the medical alcove. Carrying the barely responsive woman through the chaos erupting around them had sent her muscles into outright revolt.

Shaking out her throbbing limbs, she checked the compression bandage. It appeared to be in decent shape. However, Barriss did not. Her breathing was shallow, and the normally shining olive skin was tinged with a dull, yellowish hue. Ahsoka knew enough to know that wasn’t good. “Focus, Tano. Freak out later.”

Ahsoka punched the release for a compartment above the cot. Pulling down the medscanner arm, she activated a full diagnostic. “Don’t move, ok? I’ll be back as soon as I get us off this damn planet.”

“Yes, Master,” Barriss mumbled. “I’ll follow instructions this time.”

“Er, right. Make sure you do that.” She secured an oxygen mask on Barriss and then sped to the cockpit.

Their charge was still sitting in the co-pilot’s seat. Upon seeing Ahsoka, the woman throttled up the power. “I took the liberty of performing the pre-flight warmup. I assumed we’d be in a hurry.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Um, ok.” Ahsoka hopped into the pilot’s chair and found everything prepped for immediate take-off. “Huh. You’re quickly becoming my favorite client, Senator.”

As they cleared the hangar, she scanned for guerilla activity. Sure enough, three snub-nosed fighters came into range. Switching her configuration into combat mode, she barked, “Buckle in.” Then, Ahsoka tore into the sky.

Emerging from the clouds, she halted and then kicked off a neverending 360. Ahsoka gripped her control stick, thumb hovering above the firing button. She watched the fighters flash by repeatedly as her own ship spun in place. Her constant whirl would make a solid target lock tricky. She was betting these guerillas didn’t have the expertise to compensate.

It ended up being a good bet. One of the enemy pilots lost patience and flew right in front of her to get a kill shot. Dropping out of rotation to meet him, she mashed her thumb down.

Fiery chunks of metal exploded past the cockpit window, and she grinned. “One down, two to go.”

Arcing up, she danced in and out of their targeting sensors. Once reaching a sufficient height, Ahsoka popped the elevator control, and her ship plummeted toward the ground. “Come on,” she muttered. “You know you want me.”

After a brief vacillation, both fighters chased her down. “Gotcha.” Ahsoka counted to three and then jerked left before slamming the brakes. Her ship shuddered to a halt.

One managed to avoid her trap but the other shot straight past her. The pilot tried to pull up, but it was too late. Ahsoka dove after it and blew the fighter out of the sky.

Switching attention to her remaining enemy, she smirked. “Smarter than I thought.” The guerilla was high tailing it out of range. Resetting her controls, she spiraled into the planetary atmosphere. “Amateurs.”

Her passenger chuckled. “You’re quickly becoming my favorite bodyguard.”

“All part of the service, Senator Amidala.” Ahsoka flashed her A+ that Barriss insisted worked wonders on their clients. “Now, since your trade conference was unceremoniously canceled, where can I take you?”

She drummed fingers on the arm of her chair. “Coruscant, I believe would be best. I must report these events.”

“Very well. My partner has been injured, so I’m going to lay in a course and then see to her. We may need to divert for medical treatment.”

The woman sat up in her chair. “May I provide assistance? I’m not a professional healer but do have some experience.”

She evaluated what appeared to be a sincere face. However, Ahsoka didn’t trust her own judgment on such things. Not since Renking. “What kind of experience?”

Amidala smiled wanly. “The kind you get from watching too many die in front of you. I decided to do something about it. My training is in trauma care, including compression, blaster, and…” There was a brief pause. “... lightsaber injuries.”

“I see.” What were her other choices really? This was the outer rim. Heading for the nearest medcenter wasn’t a great option. Besides the dangers of landing on a random planet, the quality varied and some refused service to off-worlders or those unaffiliated with a crime syndicate. Waiting until reaching the core or mid-rim would be ideal. However, if Barriss was as badly injured as she suspected, time was of the essence. And Ahsoka’s skills were limited to slapping bandages on the problem. Giving a short nod, she said, “Thank you. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to at least verify there isn’t any life-threatening damage that calls for immediate intervention.”

“Certainly.” Unstrapping herself, she rose from the seat.

Ahsoka locked in coordinates and activated the hyperdrive. Then, they headed to the medical alcove.

The Senator reviewed the medscanner results with a deepening frown. Moving to Barriss, she removed the oxygen mask and prodded the skin around her neck. “What have you done to yourself, old friend?”

Eyelids fluttered. “Padmé?”

She smiled down at Barriss. “Yes, it’s me. Rest. Your partner and I are taking care of everything.”

“That supposed… make me… feel better?”

“Watch it, Offee. When we save your life, you’re going to owe both of us an apology.” Her smile faded as the woman looked at Ahsoka. “She’s lost a great deal of blood.”

Stomach twisting, she rushed to the cabinets and began pulling out every supply inside. “What do you need?”

“I can treat the wound itself. However, her hemoglobin levels are critical. I recommend we find a medcenter that can perform an emergency transfusion. Immediately.”

Barriss shuddered and wheezed, “Blood p-pack.” Then, she went limp.

Amidala checked her pulse. “Is she suggesting you have whole blood on hand compatible with Mirialan physiology?”

Ahsoka scrunched her forehead. “Oh.” Running to the blinking contraption Barriss called a stasis chamber, she racked her mind for the unlock code. Crossing fingers that she wasn’t mixing it up with another of the impossible to remember security codes, Ahsoka punched in 3263827.

Her heart soared as the container hissed open. Then, it dropped as she saw the myriad of contents. “Do you know which it is?”

Amidala strode over and scanned the labels. “Ah. Barriss Offee, ever prepared.” Picking up a pouch of what was presumably blood, she then retrieved a pump from Ahsoka’s frantically assembled pile. “It looks like we’re in business.”

She blew out a giant exhale. “Good.” Moving to Barriss, Ahsoka twisted her fingers along a sallow cheek. “It’s going to be alright,” she murmured. “I promise.” She looked back at their client. “What next?”

The woman began sanitizing the equipment. “We do the transfusion.”

“Right, but should I set a course somewhere? Get other supplies? Unpack all the medicines? What do you want _me_ to do?”

“Nothing, except be patient.”

Ahsoka ground her teeth. “Not exactly my skill set.”

Her eyes twinkled. “You don’t say? I suppose water and a few extra towels would be nice.” She glanced around the sparse medical alcove. “Perhaps, a place to sit while we wait?”

Nodding, she returned her gaze to Barriss. “I’ll take care of it. Anything you need.” Resisting the urge to stroke the drawn face once more, she curled fingers into her palms. _‘Don’t you even think about leaving me, Barriss Offee.’_

_‘What if I can’t help it?’_

_‘You can.’_

_‘How do you know, Princess?’_

_‘Because I do.’_

_‘How do you know you’re right?’_

_‘Because I am. Now, stop arguing and follow instructions.’_

_‘Who could argue in the face of such impeccable logic? What’s in it for me to make a miraculous recovery, though?’_

_‘I would’ve assumed the benefits self-evident. You get to continue enjoying my glorious presence and extraordinary conversational skills for years to come.’_

_‘I thought you were trying to convince me.’_

_‘Gah, no appreciation! Fine. Gourmet dinners every night?’_

_‘Getting closer, Princess. If you throw in a weekly ban on chit-chat and a promise to pick up your clothes once a month, I might deign to survive.’_

_‘So demanding, Escort. I shall give your requests due consideration.’_

_‘You’re too good to me.’_

Ahsoka’s silly smile vanished as a hand laid on her shoulder. She flinched and spun away, pulse kicking into high gear.

Raising her palms in the air, Amidala said quickly, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed—Togruta typically connect through physical touch. My intention was to convey a small measure of comfort while also nudging you out of the way.”

Mentally cursing her irrational freak out, she worked to calm her jittering body. “No, it’s my issue. Sometimes being touched, especially when I’m not prepared for it, makes me… jumpy. You’re correct that for most Togruta the gesture would’ve been welcome.”

She grimaced. “Please, don’t blame yourself for me making an unwarranted assumption. Not wanting strange senators clutching at you is a perfectly valid, even common, response.” She winked and then turned back to Barriss.

Watching her hook up the pump, Ahsoka whispered, “She is going to be ok, right?”

The woman adjusted the blood pack with a tight smile. “If I have anything to say about it. After all, I told the illustrious Lady Offee she’d have to apologize to us mere mortals when we saved her life. I don’t know about you, but I vote for reveling in our apology.”

A small grin crept onto Ahsoka’s face. “Good plan, Senator.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our little Princess has come so far. Look at her go!  
> Also, Padmé!


	10. Of Wolves and Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good shepherd is hard to find.

Ahsoka paced her hundredth circle. “Any change?”

There was a delicate sigh. “As I believe I’ve mentioned, we won’t know until—” The pump cut in with a loud beep. Holding up a finger, Amidala reviewed the medscanner display for several nerve-wracking seconds. “Transfusion complete. There’s no sign of rejection.”

“And that’s good, right?”

She glanced up with a bright smile. “ _Very_ good.”

“Thank the Force.” Ahsoka sagged against a wall and massaged her throbbing temples. “Actually, thanks should go to you, Senator. I’m not sure what I would have done if not for your help. My medical expertise begins and ends with ‘well, that looks bad’.”

Unhooking the pump from Barriss, she commented, “I would’ve thought healing, especially for this type of injury, to be an important skill in your profession. Assuming the primary goal is to survive, that is.”

Ahsoka grunted. “It’s on my list. A list I swear gets longer the more I scratch off of it. Guess that’s what happens when you’re in a line of work you never expected.”

“Ah, I see. What was your original line of work?”

Mischievous impulse striking, she straightened into the superior bearing of a princess for the first time in seven months. “You astound me, Senator. Such a cultured politician doesn’t recognize the noble personage before you?” Ahsoka performed a regal sweep of her arm and declared, “You, dear lady, are in the presence of royalty.”

Instead of the amusement she’d intended to elicit, the woman cocked her head and ran an evaluative eye over Ahsoka. The intent gaze caused her heart rate to kick up a notch. Ahsoka let out the breath she was holding when Amidala replied with exaggerated formality, “My apologies for the egregious oversight, your majesty. Given I interact with all manner of distinguished individuals, your magnificence must have escaped conscious notice. When you’ve seen one royal, you’ve seen them all.”

“Ack! What impertinence!” Skirting this close to the truth was a silly risk, but Ahsoka couldn’t help herself. A client she liked was unusual already. The number she felt comfortable engaging in genuine conversation could be counted on a single hand, much less trusted enough to even joke about her identity. One that met those requirements and also returned her banter? How could she resist? It had been an eternity since someone actually laughed at her jokes. “You’ve clearly underestimated my significance. I have it on unimpeachable authority that I am the most important person in the galaxy.”

There was a light snort from the woman. “Alright, Precious. Give me the punchline.”

Thrusting her chin into the air, Ahsoka sniffed. “My mother told me so.”

That got her sought after laugh. “Oh no, my dear. I believe you’re confusing yourself for me.” Amidala flitted an elegant hand through the air. “I was the Queen of Naboo at fourteen, you know. Beat that.”

She blinked. “Wait. Are you serious?”

Smirking, she perched on the side of the cot and began checking over Barriss. “Look it up. I have my own statue in the capital.”

“Um, if you’re Queen, why are you a senator?”

“The queenship is an elected office on Naboo. After my two terms ended, I still wanted to serve. I transitioned to my current role and have been in it ever since.”

“That’s right. I forgot Naboo has an elected monarchy.” Ahsoka considered for a moment before venturing, “Do you think you’ll always feel the need to serve your people?”

“Interesting question.” Pausing her examination, she stared into empty space. “Strange. A few years ago, the answer would’ve been an emphatic yes. Now… I suppose too much loss, sacrifice, and politics can change your priorities. The longer you run into walls, the more permanent your bruises become. I also have two young children, who deserve more of my attention. Yet, I doubt I’ll ever escape the compulsion. Serving my people in some manner, perhaps even the galaxy, may simply be part of who I am.”

“Huh.” She chewed her lip. “When you were Queen did you—was it hard? Were there… things you couldn’t fix?”

Her gaze darted back to Ahsoka. “Of course. Taking care of an entire planet is not for the faint-hearted. There were often problems without good solutions. And I made many mistakes.”

“Like what? I mean if you don’t mind sharing.”

The keen brown eyes assessed her once more. “I can tell you the one that still haunts me. Early in my reign, Naboo was invaded by the Trade Federation. We eventually drove them off, but not before I gave Palpatine the leverage he needed to become Chancellor.” Her mouth tightened. “So many lives lost. It’s a mistake for which I may never atone.”

Regretting her unchecked and probably intrusive questioning, she cast about for a lighter topic. “I see. So, is public service common in your family? What about your partner or partners? Are they in politics, as well?”

Amidala flinched, gaze dropping to her hands.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” Ahsoka rushed to add. “You said two children and I—not that you have to be married or with anyone, of course. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“No, it’s fine. I suppose I haven’t quite…” She pulled a blanket over Barriss and then rolled the edge between her fingers. “Removing Palpatine from power required the lives of many Jedi, including my husband’s. Anakin died saving the Republic and fixing my mistake.”

She winced. “I’m sorry.” Ahsoka hadn’t realized Jedi married, but this was certainly not the moment to educate herself. In fact, her knowledge of galactic politics altogether was the definition of the term spotty. She joined Amidala on the edge of the cot and racked her brain for something encouraging. “I’m no political scholar, but I do recall my father thought Palpatine a wise and admirable man back then. Everyone did. I also assume whatever decision you say gave him power was made to help Naboo. That was your first duty as Queen, right?”

The woman returned a faint smile. “I don’t disagree with your assessment. That doesn’t erase the consequences though, does it?”

Wrapping arms around her stomach, she whispered, “No. Understanding why can’t change what is done.”

A throat cleared beside her. “True. However, we can take what results—both inside us and for others—to create a better reality. That’s why I helped organize a trade conference in a region that has been abandoned amid indifference and war. Even when we fail, it doesn’t mean the effort is in vain or we shouldn’t continue trying.”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure that applies to every situation, Senator.”

“Hmm, arguable. Maybe keep it in mind. You have an entire life ahead of you to decide which of us is correct.” She hesitated and then slowly reached out a hand. Holding it palm up in front of Ahsoka, she said quietly, “You know more about me now than people I’ve known for years. Please, call me Padmé.”

Ahsoka swallowed as she stared at the offered hand. Lifting her head, she met the woman’s gaze and then curled fingers around hers. “Hello, Padmé. I’m… Ahsoka.”

“Ah. Yes.” Her eyes gleamed for a split second. “It’s nice to make a friend, Ahsoka.” Giving a final squeeze of her hand, she rose and reviewed the medscanner display. “Her hemoglobin counts are rising fast. Vitals improving across the board.”

Shifting toward Barriss, Ahsoka stroked her cheek. “She’s definitely going to be ok now, right?”

“We’ll monitor to be safe, but I believe so. Though, she’ll be very weak. Keep her on bedrest for the next 48 hours. After that, she still needs to heal properly. No heavy physical activity or battles to the death, please. Lady Offee tends to push her limits in even normal circumstances. You’ll have to be vigilant.”

She gave a determined nod. “Don’t worry. I’ll make it happen, whether she likes it or not.”

A smile blossomed in response. “You know, I must admit being surprised when Barriss told me she’d taken on a partner. Having now met you, it’s clear why.”

Ahsoka frowned. “It is? Surely, you can see I’m not at her level. Not yet, anyway,” she added with a cocky lilt. “Give me a few more weeks or something.”

Padmé laughed. “Oh, you’re underestimating your value. It’s more than skill or panache, though you already have both. The mercenary world isn’t that different from my world of politics. Trust is scarce, and loyalty often comes at a price. It’s a game of mutual advantage for most.”

She replied more bitterly than intended, “So, I’ve learned.”

Her face softened. “Don’t lose hope, Ahsoka. While generally true, not all of us operate that way. Understanding the game doesn’t mean you must obey its rules to succeed. I believe you may be one of those rare few. And that, my young friend, makes you worth more than any amount of credits. Precisely because what you bring can’t be bought or sold. It only comes as a gift, and even then one must be able to recognize its value.”

Considering the words, Ahsoka said, “I suppose Barriss was my gift then. When I had nothing, I still had her.”

“Hmm… perhaps, that’s because she also realized you were hers.” Padmé winked and then resumed monitoring the medscanner.

Ahsoka gazed at Barriss, a rising smile on her lips.

_______

“Ahsoka?”

Jerking up from her doze, Ahsoka leaned over the cot. “Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Barriss popped her lips a few times. “Like I’ve been shot.”

“Huh. Now that you mention it…” Ahsoka made a show of examining her chest. “Yep. You’ve been shot.”

She snorted. “I take it from your chipper demeanor, I’m going to live. Or are you just excited about inheriting the ship?”

Ahsoka scooted her seat closer and propped elbows on the cot. “Why can’t it be both?”

A weak grin flashed. “Fair.”

“Anyway, according to Senator Amidala, you will be with us awhile longer. However, you are not to budge from this cot for at least another 27 hours. Then, I am to hold you prisoner until you’re fully recovered.”

Barriss hissed through her teeth. “It’s not that bad.”

Ahsoka’s jaw set. “It _is_ that bad. You’re not going anywhere, Barriss Offee, until I say. Got it?”

Her eyes widened. “Well, someone’s gotten bossy. One time saving my life, and I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“No one to blame but yourself. Besides, I was pretty badass.”

The woman groaned but then lifted a hand to Ahsoka’s cheek. “Actually, you were. Thanks.”

She flushed. “That’s my job. Keeping you alive, whatever it takes.”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “I didn’t sign that contract.”

“Sure you did. While you were incapacitated, I had to make all legal decisions. Congratulations on having a new bodyguard.”

Her eyes glinted. “I think I can handle it.” Glancing around the medical alcove, she asked, “Where is Padmé?”

“Gone. We’re docked on Coruscant, and Chancellor Organa convened some kinda meeting to discuss the Akiva situation. I promised we wouldn't depart until you were mobile. She’s going to try to check on you again before then. Either way, the Senator requested I convey both her appreciation for a job well done and that you should follow my instructions to the letter.”

“Are you sure she added the last part?”

“Absolutely.”

“Uh-huh. I’m surprised you let her treat me. You’re not usually inclined to trust our clients. Not that you should be,” she ended wryly.

“Yeah, to be honest, I didn’t have much choice. You almost died on me, Escort. Unacceptable. Healing is going to the top of my training list. Agreed?”

“Well, you _are_ the boss. Or so I’ve heard.”

“That’s more like it. In any case, it helped that I had the impression you trusted her.”

Barriss’s expression turned distant. “I suppose I do. She might be one of the very few from my old life I still trust. I don’t know.”

She hesitated. “You mean from when you were a Jedi?”

Her gaze sharpened and fixed on Ahsoka. “Yes.”

Reaching out, she smoothed stray wisps of hair from the woman’s forehead. “Um, want to tell me about it?”

Barriss flinched. “I…”

“You don’t have to,” she followed up. “It’s ok if you don’t feel comfortable telling me.”

“It’s not you. Talking about it makes me—I become—it can be too much.”

“I understand,” she said quietly. “It’s hard sometimes.”

“I guess you do understand,” Barriss murmured and then brushed her cheek. “Maybe with you, I could… handle it.” Flattening her palms on the cot, she took a deep breath. “It all started with the war. We were supposed to be keepers of the peace, not soldiers. But my final years as a padawan—that’s when you’re apprenticed to a master—were spent as a soldier. Jedi are taught not to kill unless absolutely necessary. All I did was kill and destroy. And for what? To allegedly protect the Republic from those that wanted to leave it.”

“You’re talking about the _war_ war, right? The giant one that ended… erm, three years ago?”

“The Clone War, yes.”

“Yeah, that one. I should know this stuff, shouldn’t I? Padmé and I were discussing it, and I realized how clueless I am about galactic politics. I mean it was a big deal to most people on Shili, though. I think. Too busy being a princess to pay attention, I guess.” She dug fingernails into her palms as regret surged once again. “Living in my little bubble.”

The slender hand returned to Ahsoka’s face. “It’s ok. Shili wasn’t really involved, except by proxy as a Republic member. I don’t think we even had a base there. And you were a young princess for most of it, right? Probably spent every waking hour carrying on conversations with animals, learning how to wave in public, and perfecting your dance techniques.”

Ahsoka squinted at her. “I seem to recall you appreciating my dancing flair on the Shu-Torun job.”

“Hmm… not sure appreciate appropriately describes that experience, Princess. Did your vast array of styles, which apparently includes everything from a formal waltz to a tabletop shimmy, come in handy? Yes. Do you specialize in unorthodox approaches for causing distractions? Definitely. Did you also manage to distract me in the process, resulting in me nearly cutting my arm off in a security door? No comment.”

A grin crept up. “In that case, maybe I’ll try adding in a pole to further spice up my repertoire.”

“I’m undecided on whether I should respond to this proposal with horror or, um, appreciation.”

Ahsoka waggled her eyebrows. “Only one way to find out.” Torn between pursuing this tempting line of conversation or returning to the original topic, she vacillated. But there was really only one choice. “On that note, your distractional efforts are in vain. We were talking about you.”

The woman smirked. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“Nope. This is Barriss Offee hour. The boss has spoken.” She searched her memory and came up spectacularly empty. “You may have to fill me in on important war details. My knowledge is a little—ok a lot spotty.”

Exhaling, she rubbed her forehead. “What do you know? The Separatists and the Republic fought a war?”

“Yeahhhhh, pretty much. I do remember my father complaining about the Republic overreaching and not managing galactic affairs properly. It got bad enough that we held a public referendum on whether Shili should join the CIS. It didn’t pass, but I think that’s when my father first met Dooku. I also know Chancellor Palpatine somehow masterminded the war and did other terrible stuff—no idea what. Padmé said the Jedi took him down. Oh, and the Republic won.”

Barriss’s expression darkened. “Actually, no one won. The entire thing was a lie. Palpatine and Dooku planned it together. They started a war that nobody was ever going to win as a way to seize permanent power.”

Her mouth gaped open. “Wait. Are you saying none of it was real? And Dooku was in on it? How come my father didn’t know that? What about the rest of the Separatists?”

“Most of them were genuine in their beliefs, as was most of the Republic. Palpatine and Dooku took advantage of a broken system and the angry, desperate, or greedy people inhabiting it. Of course, Dooku claimed he’d been fooled, as well. He presented himself as an idealist and explained away any evidence as difficult choices for the greater good. That Palpatine had provided backdoor aid to the CIS in exchange for helping him achieve certain political goals. I’m not sure anyone believed his story except the Separatists. Besides, Palpatine was his mast—well, suffice to say, Dooku was definitely in on it. Not that it mattered. The Senate pardoned him as a concession to the Separatists. I suspect part of the deal required Dooku to encourage the CIS members to peacefully rejoin the Republic.”

Heat flushed Ahsoka’s skin. “They let him off the hook without even warning anyone he might be a threat? Didn’t they think about him continuing to incite violence on innocent planets? What about the Jedi? Are you saying they let one of their rogue members just roam across the galaxy destroying people’s lives?”

She grimaced. “I suppose the Senate believed they were doing what was best to heal the fractured Republic. Their high ground had also been eliminated by the revelations of their own Chancellor’s treachery, which only confirmed the Separatist claims about the system. What was one man to hundreds of systems and peace? The Jedi don’t get the benefit of that excuse. They knew exactly what Dooku was and the level of destruction that single man could cause. Yet, they went along with the Senate anyway. That’s why I collected the evidence on Shili. I transmitted it to the Order, hoping they might take action. Perhaps, they’d see their choices had real-life consequences for those they claim to serve. I don’t know why I thought things might have changed.”

Veins pulsing, she cried, “They still didn’t care, even after seeing what he’d done to Shili?!”

The woman grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away. We can talk about this another time.”

Inhaling a huge breath, Ahsoka slowly released it and forced her coiled muscles to relax. “No, my fault. It just caught me off-guard. I’ll be fine, promise.” She intertwined their fingers. “Please. Tell me about you.”

Barriss wet her lips. “Alright. Near the end of the war, I discovered connections between Palpatine and Dooku as well as patterns that suggested the Chancellor, or someone in his inner circle, was leaking intel to the Separatists. But the evidence wasn’t conclusive enough for the Jedi Council. I found more, but they still refused to accept it.” Her fingers began trembling in Ahsoka’s. “I didn’t understand the entire picture then, but I knew people were dying in what appeared to be a rigged war. I had to do something. So, I decided to go public with my findings against the Council’s orders.”

Ahsoka squeezed her hand. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” she whispered.

Her eyebrows gathered. “Didn’t anyone believe you?”

“Maybe, but it didn’t matter. When the news services took an interest in my story, rumors of me breaking under the strain of war started circulating, probably from Palpatine’s propaganda wing. That’s when the—the Council disavowed me. They announced my accusations had no basis in fact and expelled me from the Order. After that, it was over. No one wanted to listen to or align themselves with a disgraced and potentially unstable ex-Jedi.” Her voice cracked. “They betrayed everything they’d taught me was right.”

Ahsoka’s nostrils flared. “They kicked you out because you made your own choices and followed your conscience?”

She bit out a short laugh. “I almost wish that were the reason. I knew there would be consequences for defying the Council. No, they did it to appease the Chancellor, not risk their position, and manage public perception of the Order. Pure politics. They had such a self-righteous arrogance about it too. As if their actions were for the greater good of the galaxy, who needed their continued munificence. As if _I_ were the one who’d abandoned everything a Jedi should be.” Her lip curled. “Blind sheep.”

Whatever pedestal Ahsoka had placed the Jedi on, it was crumbling to dust. “Like the rest,” she muttered under her breath.

“Eventually, another Jedi Knight discovered Palpatine was a Sith—the ancient enemy of the Jedi, who use the dark side of the Force. He planned to exterminate the entire Order and nearly succeeded. They defeated him, but it cost the lives of twenty Jedi including the Grand Master.”

“Is that when Padmé’s husband died?”

Barriss blinked. “You two covered a lot of ground.”

“Yeah, um, remind me to tell you about that later. I might have gotten a little too chatty and… right, keep going.”

Her eyes narrowed but then she sighed. “Yes, Anakin was the one who reported his true identity. How difficult that must’ve been. Padmé said Palpatine was like a father to him.” Barriss shifted onto her back and fixed on the ceiling. “It’s terrible to accept your mentor, someone you looked up to as almost a parent, isn’t what you thought. And they never actually cared about you.”

Ahsoka spotted the telltale twitch in Barriss’s jaw and the slight waver as she spoke. There was something else beneath the words, something that hurt. However, she didn’t know whether to push.

Before she could decide, Barriss spat, “You know what’s worse? The Council didn’t trust Anakin to participate in the takedown mission—despite his superior knowledge of the Chancellor. When the entire arrest party was killed, Anakin took matters into his own hands. He lured Palpatine into a trap that finally allowed the Jedi to triumph, but at the cost of his own life. The Chosen One, after all.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “It didn’t have to happen that way if the Council had listened, followed up, made an effort to do _something._ So many died, some by my own hand. All for nothing.” Her fingers clenched around Ahsoka’s to the point of pain. “ _Nothing._ ”

Ahsoka’s heart shrank in her chest as the last illusion of her childhood reality shattered. The Jedi were just like all the rest—Renking, Dooku, the people who slaughtered her family, the Republic that fought a war for power. Always the same. Everyone was either sheep or wolf. No one was ever a shepherd.

No. That wasn’t completely true. Shifting to lean over Barriss, Ahsoka gripped her face. “When I was a little girl, pretending to be a Jedi, do you know what I imagined? Slashing bad guys with my lightsaber and doing heroic things, sure. But only in service of a righteous cause. I was someone who defended the innocent, who didn’t obey the rules at the expense of what was right, who would sacrifice everything for their principles.” She tightened her fingers. “Someone like _you._ ”

Barriss sucked in a breath; glistening eyes gazed up at her. “Even the people who raised me don’t believe in me. You always have. Why?”

Brushing lips across her forehead, Ahsoka murmured, “Because you’ve always been a Jedi to me, Barriss Offee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends your abridged AU Clone Wars history! This chapter underwent more rewrites than any other thus far. I swear exposition dumps and brevity are mortal enemies. Balancing the two while keeping things interesting is always a challenge. So, feel free to ask if I didn't make something clear.
> 
> Oh, let me address the elephant in the room (the exploding Bantha in the Krayt Dragon?). Yes, sadly Anakin dies without meeting Ahsoka in this universe. I did consider including him but decided against it for several reasons. In a nutshell, I simply didn't need him for the story I wanted to tell. In fact, specific character beats worked better with him, um, dead. Sorry if you were hoping for an appearance! Maybe take heart in Anakin fulfilling his destiny without killing children this time around. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	11. You Found Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is messy. That doesn't make it any less beautiful.

Ahsoka shot up and pulled knees to her chest. Tucking her face into them, she worked to ground herself.

The edge of the bed dipped. “I’m here.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “Again.”

Barriss circled fingers along her back. “I’ve told you not to be.”

Ahsoka’s breaths calmed at the touch. When her pulse finally slowed, she put on a smile and raised her head. “I know. Still, my lack of rest shouldn’t be yours, as well. There’s no need for you to keep getting up. I’ll be ok after a few minutes and go back to sleep on my own.”

The woman stiffened and then withdrew her hand. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Probably isn’t helpful to have someone interrogate you afterward. I’ll stop.” Barriss quickly got up.

“No!” She snagged her arm. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just you’ve been doing it since I first came, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to take care of me forever. That doesn’t mean I don’t like—you _do_ help.”

Barriss frowned. “It’s not an obligation. I want to help. But if it doesn’t, I can—”

“It does!”

She glanced around their quarters. “Are you, um, sure?”

“More than.” Sliding her fingers down, she wrapped them around the other woman’s and tugged her closer. “Please, don’t go.”

Her eyes swung back to Ahsoka. “Alright.” Settling onto the bed, she added quietly, “I won’t.”

Ahsoka gazed at her with a happy smile. “Good.” Keeping hold of the woman’s hand, she stretched flat and placed it on her cheek. It had become their standard pose while discussing her nightmares. The touch always brought a sense of stability and confidence. No matter what her mind threw at her, Ahsoka knew she was… safe. She could talk about anything with Barriss’s hand on her cheek. “I was watching the palace burn.”

Slender fingers trailed down the side of her face. “Does it still seem like you’re really there?”

“Yes.” Fixing on her favorite metal plate in the ceiling, she drew out the sensations one by one. “These giant flames climb the pillars, and they’re brighter than any I’ve ever seen. Too bright. My eyes sting. Or maybe it’s the smoke. The heat is bad. Little hot needles pricking my skin. The yells around me kinda fade—like being in a cavern with far away sounds echoing around you. Except, I’m not. I’m right in the middle of it. Watching.” Ahsoka massaged her throat. “I can’t get enough air. I’m choking.” The memories started to morph with reality. Soot filled her nostrils, and she croaked, “It’s so real.”

Barriss’s face blocked out a smoking pillar as it appeared over hers. “Hey, you’re not there now. Stay centered on this moment.”

Ahsoka anchored herself to the intense blue, letting everything else fall away. She exhaled in relief as the intensity waned. “Thanks, I got it. Went too deep again, I think.”

Nodding, she resumed stroking Ahsoka’s cheek. “How about what you felt instead? Anything you want to talk about?”

She mulled the emotions around. “Not really. It’s the same stuff we’ve discussed a lot already. Confusion, the weird guilt, that paralyzed feeling. Although, I don’t remember being angry or scared this time. It felt more like I was… lost.” A smile touched her lips, and she gazed up at Barriss. “Then, I woke up to you. And I wasn’t lost anymore.”

Her fingers stuttered to a halt. Barriss stared at them and then pressed the tips into her skin with an expression Ahsoka couldn’t read.

After the silence stretched for several seconds, Ahsoka cleared her throat. “What are you thinking?”

Flinching, Barriss jerked her hand away. She rubbed her wrist and looked everywhere except Ahsoka. “If I should…” Her taut expression relaxed into an unexpected smirk. Returning attention to Ahsoka, she sniffed. “Not sure I want to tell you, Princess. Why don’t you guess?”

Her mouth parted before creeping up the sides of her face. “Be careful, Escort. Reading your mind is my specialty. That’s what happens when you give me nothing to work with. You wouldn’t believe the enthralling conversations we’ve had inside my head. In fact, your ability to turn a phrase often leaves me speechless.”

She snorted. “I didn’t know such an outcome was possible. I might need you to include me in these imaginary conversations, so I can learn this power.”

“Hey! Who said they were imaginary? I’m positive my ace mindreading skills are on point 96.69% of the time with a standard deviation of only 50%.”

“My pardon,” the woman replied dryly. “I wasn’t aware you possessed highly questionable, non-scientific evidence.”

She squinted at Barriss and then fluttered her eyelids in dramatic fashion. “Ah, I see. Yes. Truth cannot be hidden from the inner eye. You, Barriss Offee, are a nonbeliever. Very well. I rarely attempt to elucidate the mysteries of the Force to those of your disposition. I find it drags one’s aura through the mundane nature of a corporeal existence. However, one must sometimes suffer for the betterment of others. I shall therefore steel my soul to brave the low-frequency energies and provide a demonstration of my powers as requested.”

Grin forming, she lifted her hand toward Ahsoka. Until it abruptly dropped to fidget with the blanket. Barriss’s gaze followed and fixed on the same spot. When she spoke, her voice had a husky quality Ahsoka had never heard but most definitely liked. “Hmm… I’m undecided on whether I should respond with horror or appreciation.”

Ahsoka’s pulse kicked up a notch. Her throat suddenly felt scratchy and thick at the same time. “Well, only one way to find out. Ready to become a believer?”

“I think…” After a pause that seemed to hang in the air, she raised her head. “... I am.” Blue eyes shined more brightly than they had any right to amid the murky lighting. Once more lifting her hand, the woman reached toward Ahsoka’s lekku. When her fingers came to rest on a lek, she exhaled a fluttery breath. A tongue darted across her lips and then she skimmed along the lek’s entire length. As she stroked her way back up, Barriss said softly, “So, what do we talk about inside your head?”

Heart now slamming into her ribs, Ahsoka sorted her priorities. Staying as motionless as the grave to increase the likelihood Barriss would never stop? Imperative. Formulating a clever response? Definitely important. Ensuring her voice didn’t squawk like a Kowakian monkey lizard? Critical. Making absolutely certain she didn’t screw up this moment? Everything.

To her relief, she managed a tone only a tad squeakier than normal. “Oh, the usual. How you dearly wish I’d follow instructions and take fights for our lives more seriously, your inexplicable obsession with taping my mouth shut, how much you secretly adore me, and other miscellaneous topics. Like, did you know you’re a huge fan of podracing? I thought I was an expert, but your knowledge on the subject puts me to shame!”

That got her a full-on grin. “Impressive.” Electrified currents of blue held her own. “What I’m thinking now should be easy for such an accomplished mindreader. Let’s hear it.”

Ahsoka’s gaze never left hers. “You’re not so bad, Princess. In fact, pretty helpful since I’ve trained you up a bit. When you’re quiet, I find you rather likable. Every once in a while, I’ll even admit to enjoying your company. And when I really let myself go, I realize you’re unaccountably attractive.”

Her eyebrows rose. “That’s quite a mouthful of words for me.”

“Yeah, I might have supplied a few of my own for clarifying exposition. Not a perfect science, mindreading.”

“I see. Well, don’t stop while you’re on a roll.” She twisted the end of a lek between her fingers and leaned closer with each word. “I’m thinking something much more specific. Any ideas?”

“Erghm…” Her parched throat crackled. “Something along the lines of, I’d really, _really_ like to kiss you?”

Mouth now hovering above her own, Barriss murmured, “And what is your response?”

She lifted her head to meet the tantalizing lips. “Please, do.”

Their first kiss was nothing like Ahsoka expected. She’d imagined a wild frenzy of abandon, frantically crushing Barriss to her chest, or some equally uncontrollable fit of passion from a holonovel. This was a soft, tentative caress. It ended in two shaky breaths. They both looked everywhere but each other for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds. Until their eyes found one another once more.

Barriss brought hands up to Ahsoka’s cheeks. Spreading fingers across them, she spoke in a throaty whisper. “Shut up and kiss me, Princess. That’s what I was thinking.” Then, she sunk into a kiss plucked from Ahsoka’s dreams. It was deep, hungry, and nice. So _very_ nice.

Craning her neck, Ahsoka attempted to mirror the other woman’s rhythm. The grip on her face tightened as Barriss leaned further into the embrace. She was so close, their chests began to rub together.

Ahsoka’s heart pounded inside a floating body. This was real. She could _touch_ Barriss. Raising her arms, she tried to wrap them around the awkwardly positioned woman. A frustrated whine slipped out as she fumbled around.

Breaking away with a sly grin, Barriss continued delivering quick kisses as she crawled onto the bed. Swinging a leg over Ahsoka, she bent down and replanted her lips.

The feel of Barriss on top of her caused a tremor of pleasure. She ran her hands up Barriss’s sides until reaching her neck. Dancing fingertips along delicate skin, Ahsoka reveled in each touch. The spikes of hair brushing against the edges of her palms soon beckoned. She slid her hands upward but was stymied by the headscarf.

Sitting up, Barriss ripped it off. Tossing it over her shoulder, she removed several pins flattening her hair in place and fluffed the now free locks. They loosened into short waves of shining obsidian.

Ahsoka wound a strand around her finger with a happy sigh. “You are so beautiful.”

Barriss’s eyes glowed like the burn of an evening sun behind the dunes. Grabbing Ahsoka’s face, she dug lips into hers.

Ahsoka had no trouble matching the intensity this time. Scratching nails across the woman’s scalp, she let silky hair slide between her fingers. A tongue swished along her lips. Taking the cue, she parted them. A heartbeat later, a tongue was inside her mouth. Their tips met in an addictive tingling Ahsoka couldn’t seem to get enough of.

Barriss broke contact to nip at her bottom lip before thrusting a demanding tongue back into her mouth. Ahsoka curled her own around it, trying to hold onto her prize. Leaving the tantalizing locks to explore another tempting piece of the exquisite body in her arms, she burrowed fingers into the muscled back. Force, Barriss felt amazing.

Ahsoka shivered and shifted her now throbbing lower body under the one straddling it. The other woman responded by settling herself onto the spot Ahsoka thought might burst into flames at any moment. A moan bubbled up at the flush of heat, and she released it into the mouth still attached to hers.

Barriss dragged hands down to her shoulders, lips following to suck on Ahsoka’s throat. Then, the woman’s hips began a slow grind against her own.

The simmering heat below her stomach erupted. “Barriss, I want… I haven’t—tell me what to do.”

Jolting up, she blinked down at her. “Are you saying you’ve never been with anyone before?”

Ahsoka nodded a frantic head. “I don’t know exactly what to do, but I want to do it. Is that alright?”

Rubbing lips over hers, Barriss grinned. “Oh, it’s going to be so alright, Princess.” She ran teasing fingers down Ahsoka’s sides. “Just follow my lead.”

She gasped a laugh. “Don’t I always?”

_______

Barriss finished removing Ahsoka’s nightshirt between kisses. Both of them were completely exposed now, and things suddenly felt real. Too real. Too vulnerable.

Breaths were becoming harder to manage and not in a good way. Ahsoka knew this was the moment they’d been working towards after an eternity of lead up. Unfortunately, it was also the moment something inside of her had chosen to freak out. _‘Barriss, something’s wrong.’_

_‘What is it?’_

_‘I don’t know. Everything was fine. Please, don’t think I’m a child. I want you so much.’_

_‘Maybe you’re not ready for this.’_

_‘I am! I swear! Can’t we just keep going?’_

_‘No.’_

_‘Barriss, please. Do you still want me?’_

Determined not to risk it, Ahsoka steeled her muscles. She would make it through.

She lasted until fingers trailed across her chest. When they brushed across the scar on her left breast, Ahsoka couldn’t stop herself from flinching.

Barriss halted her caress. “Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

“Y-yep. I want to—I am—” She battled rising panic as a burst of images erupted. _Hot breath singing her skin. A shiver of cold metal. Screaming at her paralyzed muscles. Trapped in a nightmare that shouldn’t be real. His body grinding into hers. Taking whatever it wanted. And would keep taking forever._ No! That was another life, not this one. The Tunguma Tano was dead. Ahsoka Tano made her own choices, controlled her own life. Only _now_ was real.

“Soka.” Barriss cupped her cheeks. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

Squeezing clumps of sheet fabric in her fists, she attempted to focus on Barriss. “I’m just a little… er, jittery. But I don’t want to stop.”

Intense blue eyes searched hers. “I think we should talk.”

“No! I’ll be fine.”

She shook her head. “There’s something wrong. We need to figure it out first.”

“It’s nothing! I can handle this.” _Ahsoka stared numbly at the fresh blood spreading across her red-splattered dress. Barriss had been right. They all were. She was a child._ A growl exploded from her chest. “I’m not!”

Barriss’s eyes flipped wide. Clenching Ahsoka’s face, she held it steady. “Hey, I’m here. Try to center.”

Ahsoka inhaled a lungful of air. Clearing a path in her mind, she worked to compartmentalize the past and focus on the present. Her sense of reality gradually sharpened. Exhaling, she slumped back on the pillow. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what happened. Controlling the memories while I’m awake isn’t usually a problem.” She hissed through her teeth. “It doesn’t make sense.”

The angular lines of her face softened. “Why do you always act as if I’m going to be upset? Am I doing something to make you feel that way?”

“No, course not.” Pasting a grin, she wiggled her eyebrows. “I mean is it wrong to apologize for interrupting the best moment of my life?” Sliding arms around Barriss’s waist, she nipped at her earlobe. “The most beautiful and brilliant woman in the galaxy is wrapped around my naked body right now. Anything other than reveling in the sublime was most certainly not on my agenda.” Dragging lips down to the side of her neck, she spread sloppy kisses along the smooth skin.

Barriss hummed. “I almost believe that excuse.”

“You should,” she breathed and slid her hands down to the part of Barriss’s anatomy that drove her to utter distraction. Except this time, it wasn’t tormenting her from under a curve-hugging bodysuit while they were fighting for their lives or crawling through an access tunnel. Cupping the round cheeks, Ahsoka wondered if she could convince Barriss to keep a bit of leather on next time. Just to compare. Grinning to herself, she put the earlier meltdown out of her mind and dug lips into the woman’s throat.

Barriss tilted her head back and ran hands along the arms holding her. “Mmm…”

Clenching her tighter, Ahsoka pulled away from the tempting throat to concentrate on her learning curve. Sliding a hand further down and between the back of Barriss’s legs, she felt around until hitting a small bulge of skin. Testing to make sure this was what she thought, Ahsoka rolled it between two fingers.

Arching up with a gasp, Barriss pressed herself into Ahsoka’s hand.

Flush with success, Ahsoka switched to the more accessible front. Slipping fingers between slick folds, she rubbed hard into her discovery.

Letting out a groan, the woman dropped on all fours over Ahsoka. Spreading her legs as far as her wobbling knees would allow, she rasped, “Soka…”

The uttered pleasure only made Ahsoka want to elicit more. Experimenting, she identified the rhythm to get the best reaction. As she kicked up her speed, Barriss shuddered a moan, eyelids fluttering.

Body throbbing at the sight, Ahsoka breathed, “So beautiful.”

Barriss’s glazed eyes focused on her. Raising a hand, she twisted fingers across Ahsoka’s cheek. Then, she dipped her head and began sucking on a breast.

That was the instant she felt the panic sprouting in the pit of her stomach. Ahsoka wasn’t sure if it had been there the whole time or just chose this moment to return. She begged herself to stop, but it only intensified. Her fingers lost their rhythm, and the arm still wrapped around Barriss trembled as she fought the oncoming tide.

Barriss jerked up and scanned her face. Whatever she saw resulted in her scrambling off Ahsoka. “It’s happening again, isn’t it?”

She nodded and took ragged breaths. The panic receded, replaced by shame and frustration. Banging fists on the bed, she choked out, “Dammit! What’s wrong with me? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok.” Barriss stretched out beside her. Gingerly picking up her hand, she massaged the knuckles.

“No, it’s not. I left you mid—you know, unsatisfied.”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, I can solve that myself anytime I want, Princess. By the way, I think you might be a natural.” There was a slight shiver as she hummed, “Mmm… yes, definitely in your skillset.”

Warmth speckled her neck. “Well, that’s something I suppose.”

“More than something,” she said softly and intertwined their fingers. “Please, talk to me. Earlier, you refused to tell me there was an issue until it got past the point of no return. If I hadn’t realized it this time, would you have kept going again? I understand not wanting to interrupt an intimate moment. It’s more than that, though. Like with your nightmares the last few months. You don’t want me to help, but you do. What’s going on?”

She grimaced and looked away. “I guess I’m afraid you’ll think I’m still some helpless child who can’t handle things. Why would you want to be with someone like that?”

“Oh, Ahsoka.” Barriss caressed her cheek. “That’s not true. Everyone fights battles with their own mind. Having trouble processing experiences no one should have to endure doesn’t make you a child. I’ve never seen you that way.” She sniffed. “Even though you do tempt me to say it with that ridiculous pout of yours.”

An unwilling grin crept up as she returned her gaze to Barriss. “I don’t pout.”

“Uh-huh.”

Her grin faltered. “But do you… if we stop tonight will you still want—”

The woman cut her off with a lingering kiss. Resting lips against the side of her mouth, Barriss whispered, “I know I’m not good at showing it, but I do want you. Us taking time to work through whatever we need to won’t change that.”

Choking a breath, Ahsoka curled fingers around her face and pulled it back to lock their eyes. “Good. Because I want you too. So much. Not just like this but in every way. I meant what I said earlier. I’m never lost when I’m with you.”

She blinked rapidly. “You—” Her eyes squeezed shut. “I have trouble saying what I feel, but you are…” The telltale muscle in her jaw twitched.

“It’s ok.” Ahsoka brushed lips across her forehead. “You don’t have to say anything. It won’t change how I feel. Maybe we could even work on our weird minds together?”

Her eyes opened with a soft smile. “Good plan, Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say about this milestone but not yet clearing the bar chapter?  
> 1\. Patience, young padawan. Your climax will, er, come.  
> 2\. We've reached the midpoint of our story. Yay! So many goodies still await us. Let's hope they meet that definition, anyway.  
> 3\. This chapter hated me. We're not just talking standard Sith level hatred. Like creepy spider legs attached to my sliced in half body levels of hatred. No. Seriously.  
> 4\. The chapter title is a song reference. /smirks/ Why don't you guess?  
> 5\. Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!


	12. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barriss has an idea. And some other important stuff happens.

Spinning Barriss’s lightsaber in her hand, Ahsoka circled the woman. “You look worried.”

Barriss shifted her grip on the electrostaff. “About what you’ll be cooking for dinner tonight.” Her arm slightly dropped as she rotated to match Ahsoka’s movements.

She smirked at the obvious move to lure her in. “You’ll have to do better than that, Escort.”

“If you insist.” Lunging forward, she swung one end of the staff at Ahsoka’s head. It almost worked.

About to parry, Ahsoka noticed the leg shooting toward her own at the last moment. She twisted away from the incoming blow as well as the hook in one smooth motion. Then, she dropped flat on her back and coiled knees against her chest. Rocketing her legs upward, Ahsoka grinned as her heels connected and sent Barriss sailing across the training area.

Popping back up, Ahsoka rushed forward to press her momentary advantage.

Barriss regained her feet in the nick of time, and their weapons clashed together. “Well done.”

“I’m tired of cooking.” She began a direct assault, focusing on speed and power. However, the Mirialan blocked every strike. Humming saber sizzled against buzzing staff again and again.

Changing strategies, Ahsoka stepped back and launched herself over Barriss’s head. Swiping mid-air, she heard the satisfying zap of a lightsaber in training mode hitting its target. Landing on the other side, she pivoted around to face Barriss but wasn’t fast enough.

An energy shock from the electrostaff glanced off her arm, nearly causing Ahsoka to lose her grip on the saber. Barriss spun her weapon horizontally and rammed it straight into Ahsoka’s chest.

Stumbling backward, she just managed to keep her balance. Ahsoka frantically whipped up her blade to block the next blow. Planting her feet solidly once more, she knocked away a flurry of quick jabs before launching a counterattack. Barriss repelled it, and they fell into another alternating deadlock of strikes and counters.

Her muscles were throbbing, but she ordered them to keep going. This was as close as Ahsoka had ever gotten to victory, and she intended to taste it. Executing a series of rapid slashes, she finally made an opening and struck the unprotected center of the staff.

Only when Barriss smirked did she realize her mistake. The same moment she sent the staff careening out of the woman’s hands was the moment an arm shot out to lock around her own. Bending it back, Barriss knocked the saber from her grip and flipped Ahsoka over her shoulder.

Then, it came. The inevitable. Barriss’s go-to and Ahsoka’s defeat. _That_ move. Before she could even spit a curse, Barriss had her pinned to the ground with no escape.

Ahsoka glowered at the mat smooshed against her face in silent fury. Control, Tano! Her single-minded focus on weaponry had blinded her to other options. An impulsive mistake in her desperation to win.

Warm exhales bathed her montrals. “Stop yelling at yourself. Because you are exceptional, Ahsoka Tano.” Releasing her hold without a concession, Barriss rubbed along her shoulders. Delivering kisses to the back of Ahsoka’s neck every few words, she continued, “I spent years mastering multiple forms of combat. I fought a war using them. You have ten months, a haphazard style, and sheer force of will. Do you know how close you came to beating me?”

She shivered as Barriss’s mouth found a lek to focus its attention on. The sting of defeat faded, and her body became preoccupied with something else entirely. “Close enough for you to cook dinner?”

A breathy snort sounded. Barriss pulled away and fluttered fingers over her lekku. “I don’t know, Princess. That’s quite a sacrifice. Will you make it worth my while?”

Twisting her head up, Ahsoka grinned. “I shall consider appeasing your request in due time, Escort.”

_______

“M-mother of—Foooorce!” Barriss spasmed unintelligible curses and then arched up. She hung in rigid ecstasy for a long moment. Then, a deep moan shook her entire body.

Grinning, Ahsoka pulled her tongue out of Barriss and peppered kisses across her convulsing thighs.

There was a final whoosh as Barriss collapsed onto her pillow. She stared at the ceiling with a dazed smile and a breathless, “Oh, Princess.”

Curving herself into the woman’s side, Ahsoka nuzzled against her neck. “I’m going to assume that reaction indicates I’ve successfully satisfied my end of the deal.”

“Understatement of the year. Next time hold out for more dinners. Force, that was incredible. It’s like you know what I want before I do. You have a gift.” She snorted. “Maybe you made a believer out of me after all.”

Her chest swelled. “Well, at least I’m good at something.”

A hand lightly stroked her montrals. “You’re good at a lot of things.” There was a pause. “Do you want to give it another shot?”

Ahsoka stiffened. “I’ll just freak out again. I don’t know why you keep trying.”

“Because you’re worth it.” Barriss trailed fingers along a lek. “Besides, I had an idea while you were giving me obscene amounts of pleasure.” She sighed. “I really can’t describe how amazing that was.”

Grin rising, she nipped Barriss’s earlobe. “Not sure that’s a compliment. Shouldn’t my touch blow your mind to such a degree that no rational thought is possible?”

There was a wispy sound that was almost a laugh. Almost. “ _Or_ it inspires me to untold levels of genius.”

Ahsoka dragged lips across her throat. “I’ll take it. So, what is this inspired idea my powers of stimulation have aroused in you?”

“Oh my. I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that line. I was thinking we could try a less traditional approach.”

She lifted her head. “What does that mean?”

Barriss rolled to face her. “After seven weeks of adapting every technique I know and even researching new ones to try with no success, I’ve been wondering if the details aren’t important. Not that these efforts didn’t produce other dividends, like my newfound expertise on Togruta mating rituals.” Her eyes glinted. “Speaking of, let’s discuss a little thing called Lek Clenching later. It’s apparently quite an _inspiring_ experience, especially for certain species. Examples such as Mirialan were given.”

Ahsoka waggled her eyebrows. “Send me the file.”

Barriss twirled the end of a lek between her fingers. “I already downloaded it to your pad.”

Sliding an arm around the slender waist, Ahsoka traced the curve of her spine. “Maybe I should just go ahead and learn on the job.”

The woman hummed. “Your distractionary efforts, while tempting, are going to be in vain, my Princess. We’re focusing on your stimulation right now.”

“I’d rather focus on yours.” Pulling Barriss closer, she pressed lips to hers.

Barriss returned the kiss for a few seconds but then broke away. “Nope. This is Ahsoka Tano hour.” She smirked. “As I was saying, I can’t really pinpoint what’s ok and what isn’t. Sometimes, we get further for no discernible reason. There’s probably a lot of factors involved. However, it seems linked to when I take the initiative. Not every time. But the point you signal you’re feeling uncomfortable always occurs while you’re a recipient rather than the dominant partner. It might be related to me taking control or how I do so, not what action I’m specifically doing if that makes sense.”

Ahsoka frowned. “It sounds like you think you’re doing something wrong. I’m the problem, not you.”

The woman grimaced. “I guess I do worry about my approach. My own sexual experience is limited. That’s one of the reasons I did so much research. Plus, I’m… give and take is inherent in most lovemaking, but I probably do exacerbate the issue. Because, and I’ll totally refuse to admit this ever again, I tend to be a tad—well, I like to do things my way.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Can I get this in writing?”

She blinked innocently. “Get what?”

Ahsoka tried to keep a straight face and failed miserably. “Uh-huh.” She picked up Barriss’s hand and ran a thumb over her knuckles. “It’s not your fault.”

Her expression softened. “It’s not yours either. People have different needs. Recognizing those needs doesn’t make it anyone’s fault. It just gives us more insight on meeting them, right?”

“I suppose.” Mulling over Barriss’s theory about the underlying issue, she had to admit it might have some validity. Her stomach dropped at the implication. “Let’s say you’re correct about how my weird mind works. Doesn’t that mean I’m a lost cause?”

Barriss rubbed her cheek. “No. It means we have to be creative. Besides, people can adapt, trauma can heal, and desires can evolve. Time and experience change how we process things. Even if my new idea doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean another won’t or your needs won’t alter in future. So, no giving up.”

Ahsoka smiled. “Is that an order?”

“Touché, Princess.”

She kissed the woman’s nose. “Alright, but how will we get anywhere if you aren’t allowed to do anything? I can’t control you the entire time.”

The edges of her mouth curved up. “Actually, you can. That’s my idea. Trust and control.”

Ahsoka stared. “I don’t understand.”

“You’ll be the boss. For instance, I could give you my hand and you take it where you want it to go. If you want my mouth somewhere, put it there or tell me that. If something feels uncomfortable, move me elsewhere. Give me instructions and, unlike _some_ people, I’ll follow them. Experiment. Talk it out. Order me around. However _you_ want to do it. Everything will be under your control. Does that make sense?”

“Huh.” It was difficult to wrap her mind around. Plus, Barriss wasn’t exactly keen on someone else calling the shots. Getting her to follow even a suggestion was like dragging durasteel. “You’re seriously only going to do what I say?”

“Trust me.” She offered her hand. “I promise I won’t touch, move, do anything—except when you make me. I’m yours to command.”

Her stomach fluttered. “What if I get a little too into it? And I ask for something you don’t want to do?”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “Well, that sounds promising. How about we use the same system as when you want me to stop? As long as I don’t say my signal, you can assume I’m enjoying myself. I think mine will be…” Her mouth twitched. “... neon green.”

She laughed. “Yep, that will definitely ruin the moment.”

The woman wiggled her fingers. “I’m ready for my orders, Princess.”

Just the words caused her body to tingle. “Ok, maybe a slow start to see how it goes.” Tentatively taking her hand, she laid it on her right breast. Unlike in the past, Barriss didn’t move. There wasn’t even a twitch. The hand simply stayed where she’d left it. And it felt good there. Ahsoka licked her lips. “Um, can you kinda massage around? Not hard.”

Barriss locked their eyes as her fingers flitted across the entire circumference of her breast.

A small shiver ran down her spine. “That’s nice. I want to see if—would you…”

“You’re in charge,” she said softly. “I’ll do anything you want.”

The quiet sincerity spurred confidence. More than. There was something deeper Ahsoka couldn’t identify, but she liked it. Swapping the hand to her left breast, well away from her scar, she waited. Nothing happened. It felt exactly as it had on the right one. She cleared her throat. “Do it like the other. Only slower.”

Barriss trailed along her breast in lazy circles. Each time she passed over her scar, Ahsoka waited for the spike of fear. It didn’t happen. The feeling was there somewhere but in the background. The realization spawned a rush of excitement. “That’s… wow. Faster, please.”

The fingers obliged, skimming across her skin and leaving pleasant prickling behind them.

Ahsoka centered the woman’s hand on her nipple. “Erm, some squeezing is ok.”

The tips pressed into her nipple and then rolled it between them. An occasional scrape of nails only added to the rising warmth. Her breaths started coming faster. “Keep going.”

Barriss obeyed instructions.

“Hard and soft both. Yes, like that! Don’t stop.”

They remained in the same rhythm for a while, Barriss alternating between twisting and stroking as Ahsoka soaked in the sensations. However, her body started to settle, and she worried about losing momentum.

Ahsoka remained on her side but partially opened her legs. That let her slide Barriss’s hand between them but hold it in place. Heat pulsed with it simply trapped between her thighs. She gripped the woman’s wrist and pushed her hand up against the burn. Ahsoka groaned. “Go—” Her body jerked.

Barriss murmured, “What do you want me to do?”

“Finger. Not deep.”

The requested finger wriggled inside of her. Clenching Barriss’s wrist, Ahsoka rasped, “Stay there but move around. Slower. Yes. Oh yes.”

Her fingertip circled the edges over and over again. Ahsoka’s legs began to spasm and then fell into a back and forth motion across the bed as if she were swimming a slow marathon. Her thighs squeezed the hand between them. She needed so much more. And she could have it. Ahsoka could have anything she wanted.

“Follow me.” Tightening her grip on the woman’s wrist, she rolled onto her back. Letting her legs fall open, she gasped at the feeling. “Barriss… another one.”

The woman’s face appeared above hers as a second finger crept inside of her. Ahsoka shuddered. Adrenaline flushed her veins. Reaching up with her free hand, she pulled Barriss’s head down to her scarred breast. “Suck on me.”

Lips started ghosting over her nipple, the fingers partially inside her matching rhythm.

She pressed the woman’s head further down. “No. Really suck. Teeth. All of it. Like you want me so much you can’t help yourself.”

“I do,” a breathy voice said. “I’ll do anything if you let me keep touching you.” Her mouth engulfed Ahsoka’s breast, a sloppy tongue tasting each piece.

Ahsoka shivered, from the touch or the words she didn’t know. It still wasn’t enough. “Not sure I believe you if that’s all you want of me.”

Barriss inhaled sharply. “I’ll prove it.” Her mouth began suctioning skin at a frantic pace, breaths coming in erratic gulps.

“Better,” she hissed as the burn deepened. “Don’t forget about the rest of me.”

The fingers still roving inside of her kicked up to match the speed of the mouth eating into her breast. “Soka… you are…”

Ahsoka groaned and gripped a clump of silky hair. “I’m what?”

“Everything,” Barriss whispered.

Aching for more, she tugged the woman’s head up. “Tell me how much you want me.”

Glossy eyes gazed into hers, and Barriss choked out, “So much I’m scared of the feeling. Sometimes, I can’t sleep or focus. I think about being with you all the time. You make me feel… alive.”

Her core shook at the words, and she pushed Barriss’s head back into her breast. Clenching her quaking muscles, Ahsoka needed to know. “Is that part of the—do you actually mean that?”

The woman whined against her nipple. “Yes! If you let me do this forever, I would. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.” Her voice began to break. “I’m afraid I’ll always want you. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Don’t do anything about it,” she said hoarsely. “Just stay with me.”

Barriss let out a soft cry and dug teeth into her breast.

Everything throbbed in so many ways. Rubbing gentle fingers over Barriss’s scalp, she croaked, “Kiss it.”

Clearly knowing what ‘it’ meant, Barriss delivered a tender caress to her scar.

Bliss as radiant as the breaking sun flowed across her entire being. Ahsoka had never experienced anything like this moment. This moment she controlled. Barriss wanted her. Wanted to take care of her. And Ahsoka wanted her to do it forever.

The sizzling heat below her middle spiked and a strangled groan escaped her lips. “Erg-go deeper.” She gasped as Barriss fully entered her. Locking her grip on the woman’s hand, she tried to jam it further in. “Another finger! Deeper!”

Barriss obeyed the command and the licking flames erupted into an inferno. Ahsoka moaned and whimpered in equal measure. “Hhhhhhhhh… B-Barriss, I think I’m… Left! There, there!”

The woman stroked the spot Ahsoka needed most. Her lungs stopped, dots of light flashing in her eyes. Clumsily clutching at Barriss’s wrist, she sputtered, “P-push—no really push! My gaaa—now!”

Barriss drilled into the burning spot. Ahsoka’s mouth parted, eyes popping as her insides vibrated. She split her legs wider. Losing her hold on Barriss, she flopped back and gurgled, “Help…”

Curving her fingers, Barriss thrust into her with quick strokes. Ahsoka wanted harder. She choked out the plea in a garbled mess. Somehow, Barriss understood. The woman pounded her again and again. Ahsoka writhed under the intense pressure. It was so hard. So perfect.

She seized up as a torrent of ecstasy flooded out. A muffled scream exploded from her chest, and Ahsoka’s body rocked. The beautiful feeling crashed in waves.

The high at last bottomed out to leave warm tingling, heavy pants, and twitching muscles. Ahsoka’s surroundings came back into focus. Everything was ok. _She_ was ok. Better than ok. Her mind processed a reality that felt somehow different, more defined yet limitless. For the first time since her world had collapsed, Ahsoka Tano truly believed she could handle anything.

That’s when she realized Barriss was positioned basically where she’d left her. Her hand was laying on Ahsoka’s thigh while lips rested on her chest. Lump forming in her throat, she raised Barriss’s head to find shining blue eyes gazing back at her.

Grabbing the woman’s face, Ahsoka crushed lips into hers. Then, she curled up against her chest with a whispered, “Thank you.”

Wrapping arms around her, Barriss pressed a tender kiss to her montrals. “You are exceptional, Ahsoka Tano.”

As tears spilled from her eyes, Ahsoka smiled.

_______

“Tunguma Tano!”

Ahsoka froze and then slowly turned around. Two cloaked figures approached from a nearby fruit stand. Resting a hand on her holstered blaster, she scanned for additional threats. Early morning market patrons milled about, but none showed any interest in them or appeared to be anything other than what they seemed. “I’m sorry? Were you speaking to me?”

The strangers halted within a meter of her position, close but not too close. Removing his hood, a human male with auburn hair and pale blue eyes gave her a friendly smile. “If you are indeed Princess Ahsoka, last surviving member of the Royal Clan of Tano and rightful heir to the Shili throne, then yes. You’re a hard woman to track down.”

Pasting a smile, she answered, “That is not who I am. I seem to recall the Royal Clan of Shili is no more. Yeah, that’s right. I remember reading about it on the news feeds maybe a year or so back. A coup, wasn’t it? Or maybe it was a revolution. Are those different things? Eh, I’m terrible with political terms. Anyhow, not sure why you’re scouring Chandrila for a dead princess, but best of luck to you.”

Before she could turn away, the man followed up, “We have both a proposition and a message for the Tunguma Tano. Perhaps, you could assist us in delivering it. If there is a more private location you’d feel comfortable discussing the matter, we can explain in better detail.”

Reaching out with her feelings as Barriss had taught her, Ahsoka sensed only sincerity. Still, trusting her own judgment on people’s intentions remained a challenge. “I’m afraid it’s not my habit to discuss anything with strangers who accost me while I’m shopping for breakfast.”

“A fair point.” Giving her a bow, he said, “I am Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Jedi Council sent me to discuss our mutual problem.”

She stared. A Jedi Master. Ahsoka couldn’t decide if she wanted to express her displeasure with their entire Order or ask to see his lightsaber. Well, assuming he was telling the truth. “What problem is that?”

His expression hardened. “Count Dooku.”

Ahsoka flinched at the name she’d hoped to never hear again. Forcing her muscles to relax, she switched attention to his companion. “And you are?”

Slender hands lifted. The hood fell away to reveal an elegant Mirialan with square tattoos decorating her chin. Piercing blue eyes fixed on her. “Master Luminara Unduli.” She paused. “Barriss Offee was once my apprentice.”

She couldn’t stop her mouth from dropping open. Snapping it shut, Ahsoka ran an unfriendly gaze over the woman. “I’m not sure if you think telling me that helps your case.” Returning to Kenobi, she crossed her arms. “We can talk, Jedi. However, you may find it a less than pleasant experience. My opinion of your Order is not high.”

The man nodded. “I expected as much. That doesn’t mean things can’t change nor does it mean we can’t work together for the greater good.”

Ahsoka grunted. “I can’t wait to hear your version of the greater good. Very well. I have rented quarters nearby. If you’re lucky, my partner won’t have returned from her errands. If you’re not lucky, you may have an even tougher hill to climb.”

He stole a quick glance at Unduli. “Actually, I believe we would like to speak with Barriss, as well.”

She drummed fingers against her blaster. Warning Barriss would be prudent. Ahsoka didn’t want her walking in unprepared. “Who am I to deny you the pleasure?” She activated her wrist comm. “Escort, we have company. Two individuals claiming to be Masters Kenobi and… Unduli have requested a conference. We’re headed to location zero.”

Only static crackled for several seconds. Then, a flat voice responded. “Understood. On my way.”

Ahsoka pivoted around and started walking. “Let’s go, Jedi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update this week! It's a busy weekend in my wampa den due to the Thanksgiving holiday. The one day a year where us 'mericans remember to be grateful for family, friends, and the good things in our lives, while also pretending the pilgrims weren't b*stards before we pass out from pure gluttony. It's truly glorious. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for Star Wars, AO3, and readers like you! So, I thought we'd move things along as Golddude would undoubtedly say. 🍗 
> 
> Awwwright, what notes to put on this pivotal chapter?  
> ♦I've never written a sex scene quite like this one. I'm undecided as to whether it turned out ok or not. I guess let me know if you feel so inclined.  
> ♦We witness Ahsoka's advancing skills and growth in multiple areas. I'd call this is a 'corner turning' chapter in her journey, much like Chapter 7 was.  
> ♦There are also hints of Barriss's emotional needs/issues. I've been trying to seed these throughout, but much of Barriss's inner life has to be implied due to the single POV and her reluctance to open up. Though, she certainly is much more expressive with Ahsoka here than just a few short chapters ago. I hope these bits came through?  
> ♦The end tag kicks off the next phase of our story. /rubs hands together with glee/ Hopefully, you're excited to see where it goes, because I'm excited to share it!


	13. Guardians of Peace and Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past comes calling...

Ahsoka keyed open their guest quarters and ushered the Jedi inside. They were on Chandrila to do surveillance work for a regular client. However, their target had gotten delayed in transit, so they were killing time while awaiting his arrival.

She’d enjoyed having a chance to relax and explore their surroundings for once. However, the lack of occupation was driving Barriss insane, who’d begun a project to restock the ship with every supply known to mankind. Of course, having the monotony broken by visiting Jedi Masters probably wasn’t what the woman had in mind. _‘Not to worry, Escort. I’ve got just the thing. Prepare yourself for a whirlwind evening of dinner, romance, and… a show!’_

_‘A show.’_

_‘Yep. Not just_ any _show, though. Would I take my best girl out to some everyday production? No, no, no. This is the highest-rated show in the entire sector. Been sold out for months. But a semi-elite mercenary doesn’t let such trifling inconveniences interfere with her mission.’_

_‘Semi-elite.’_

_‘What? Like elite mercenary is a real thing? That’s just how people say expensive badass. Since I’ve only reached partial badassery, I figured a slight downgrade was in order.’_

_‘Impeccable Ahsoka Tano logic.’_

_‘You’re interrupting my dramatic reveal, Offee. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Sold out. Of course, that was an unacceptable state of affairs. I refused to acquire anything less than the highest class of entertainment for my escort. Aaaaaand… voila! I snagged us center row using my expert, erm, bargaining skills.’_

_‘Should I ask what you did to get them?’_

_‘Definitely not. It’s called “Droids and Daisies: A Sunny Day in the Void”. Doesn’t that sound exciting?’_

_‘No.’_

Grinning to herself, Ahsoka walked into the kitchen adjoining the entryway. Crossing to the other side, she leaned out of the kitchen door and tossed her satchel down the hall. As she’d intended, it skidded to a stop in front of the bedroom for later use in her surprise reveal. _‘See, Barriss? There’s a method to my mess.’_

_‘Does it include trying to make me trip?’_

Turning back around, she plopped down at the kitchen table and motioned to the chairs across from her. “Have a seat.”

Kenobi did so, but Unduli stood stiffly behind her designated chair.

Eyeing her, Ahsoka remarked, “Or stand. Whatever makes you happy.”

The Mirialan nodded. “Thank you.”

Ahsoka craned her neck around their visitors to check the front door, which faced the kitchen entrance. No Barriss yet, but perhaps getting this going would help when she did arrive. “Well, shall we discuss what sent you hunting the galaxy for a dead woman?”

Kenobi leaned forward. “We want you to lead a revolution.”

Whatever she’d expected, this wasn’t it. “I’m sorry?”

Before he could respond, the front door whooshed open. Unduli instantly spun around. “Barriss.”

Barriss’s stride hitched at the greeting. Face tightening, she placed her sack of supplies on the counter and then took up position behind Ahsoka. “Masters. I’m glad to see you’re in good health. Can I get you any refreshment?”

Rising from his seat, Kenobi bowed. “As we are you. And thank you, but we require nothing.” He glanced at his companion.

Unduli cleared her throat and then clasped hands in front of her body. “You are… well, yes?”

Ahsoka felt fingers curl around the back of her chair as Barriss responded, “I am, thank you. Please, don’t allow my arrival to interrupt. I’m quite curious as to your presence here.”

Twisting her head up, Ahsoka offered, “They want me to lead a revolution, apparently.”

Barriss looked down at her and then back to the Jedi. “That’s a new one.”

Spotting a flash of silver through the folds of Unduli’s cloak, Ahsoka popped out of her seat. “Wait. In case I end up storming out later, can I see your lightsabers now?”

Both Jedi stared at her.

“Oh, nevermind.” Ahsoka flung out a hand and called the Mirialan’s weapon. Using the Force to ignite the blade mid-flight, she caught it with a flourish. “Ooooo, green! That’s my favorite color, you know.”

Barriss made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a snort. “Ahsoka, it’s not good form to steal a Jedi’s lightsaber.”

She produced an innocent expression. “Really? How bad is it? Like a curse on your children’s children kinda bad? Or that annoying girl who talks too much kinda bad?”

Unduli, who appeared remarkably composed at having her weapon pilfered, answered, “Depends on whether you plan to give it back.”

The crisp dryness reminded Ahsoka of exactly who’s master this was. “Hmm, let me think about it.”

Kenobi shot a disapproving look at Barriss. “Are we to understand you’ve taught a non-Jedi our techniques? The Barriss Offee I know was never that reckless.”

She went rigid. “Perhaps, you need a refresher. I seem to recall being declared irresponsible and arrogant with no care for the consequences of my actions. Sounds reckless to me.”

Unduli raised a palm. “Let’s postpone the argument, please. In case you’ve forgotten, someone with unknown motives is in possession of my lightsaber. And is now waving it through the air like an overexcited youngling.”

Ahsoka swung the blade around a few more times. “I like the hum of Barriss’s better. Besides, this shade is too close to neon.”

Barriss smirked at the Jedi. “Ahsoka possesses a strong connection to the Force, keen observational skills, and a curious mind. She picked up much on her own, often without realizing what she was doing. A few months ago, in a life-threatening situation, she reacted instinctively and collapsed part of a building. After that, teaching her precision and restraint seemed wise. She didn’t accidentally slice your head off, did she?”

Unduli cocked an eyebrow. “Is that meant to bring us comfort?”

Kenobi grunted. “I’m certainly comforted by still having a head attached to my shoulders.”

“My apologies,” she replied dryly. “Master Kenobi is comforted.”

The man threw a small glare back. “The point being there is a reason we don’t teach our techniques outside of the Order. Though, if the situation is as Barriss indicates, it’s probably better than the alternative.”

Barriss crossed her arms. “Should I be grateful for your grudging acceptance of a decision that has nothing to do with you? The Jedi do not own the Force, despite what they seem to think. Whether I teach Ahsoka or anyone else is my choice. You gave up the right to have a say in the matter.”

Unduli gazed at her and said in a low tone, “So, we did.”

Deactivating the saber, Ahsoka tossed it back. “Not that anyone asked, but you don’t control me either. Guess you missed your chance by not stealing me as a child.”

“We don’t steal children,” Kenobi replied with a slight air of annoyance. “Though, you have just illustrated an inherent danger of being untrained and strong with the Force. Without proper control techniques, which I presume Barriss provided, and a highly developed environmental sense, which I presume comes naturally, your mid-flight ignition trick would’ve been deadly. Likely only to yourself in this instance, but there have been occurrences of younglings hurting others due to not understanding or being able to regulate their own power. Use of the Force comes with responsibilities and discipline, which must be taught. That said, if a family is staunchly opposed and has a reasonable justification, we allow exceptions to the law. That’s what happened in your case. There was a notation on your record in the Jedi archives. We did identify you as a child. However, your father refused to part with you. It is a rare occurrence, but it does happen.”

Ahsoka blinked and then dropped back into her chair. “Huh. How about that? I could have been a Jedi after all.” She pinned him with a hard gaze. “Dodged that laser blast, didn’t I? Otherwise, I’d be just another guardian of peace and justice that doesn’t actually defend peace and justice.”

The man rubbed his forehead. “Alright, let’s return to the topic at hand.” Taking his seat once more, he exhaled. “As you might expect, the situation on Shili is not good. Dooku has instituted harsh policies, unreasonable taxes, and curtailed individual rights. Citizens are subject to casual brutality, property forfeiture, and indentured servitude for minor infractions. Many are unable to find work or access necessities like food, education, and housing. Transport off-planet is heavily regulated, requiring corporate interests or means to legally utilize. Any resistance is silenced without trial or due process. Your people are in desperate need of relief.”

Pain stung her chest. “They are not mine. They chose their leader.”

“There is no argument on that, even from them. Though, I will point out that not everyone suffering was party to the revolution that ousted your family from power.”

“Ousted.” Ahsoka placed palms on the table. “They _murdered_ my family.”

He winced. “Yes, I am sorry.”

“Are you?” she snapped. “What kind of sorry? The empty sympathy of an onlooker? Or the regretful guilt of those that made it possible?”

His eyebrows shot up. “You believe the Jedi are responsible for Dooku’s actions?”

Warmth rose in her cheeks. “Did you or did you not let Dooku escape any punishment for instigating a false war? Did you or did you not let one of your bad apples rove the galaxy unabated for years? Did you or did you not take no action when Shili experienced a violent uprising that installed him into illicit power?”

It was Unduli who responded. “We did all of that, yes.”

Kenobi frowned at the other Jedi. “As Barriss just pointedly reminded us, the Order does not have any sway over those who leave us. The Senate determined Dooku’s fate; over our strenuous objections, I might add. Were we to defy the reigning government we swore an oath to serve? The decimation of the Council in defeating Palpatine and public sentiment blaming us for Sith machinations made taking extreme action a highly dangerous proposition.”

His companion hissed a breath. “That may be true, Obi-Wan, but the Council knew very well what Dooku was. It was a calculated risk for what we perceived as the greater good. It ended up being the wrong choice. Us standing here now is a testament to that. Having reasons for our decisions doesn’t obviate the need to take responsibility for them.” Looking at Ahsoka, she said, “We do regret our part in these events. Unfortunately, we can’t change what is done.” Her eyes flicked to Barriss for a moment. “All we can do is try to remedy our mistakes.”

The man slumped back in his chair. “I concede the point. We intended to stop Count Dooku through other means at our disposal. Every strategy has failed. That doesn’t mean we’ve given up. At least, will you hear us out? We may still be able to save Shili and perhaps other worlds to come.”

Barriss rested hands on her shoulders, subtly massaging the tensed muscles. “We’re listening.”

Relaxing under the woman’s touch, Ahsoka nodded agreement.

“Thank you.” Kenobi straightened. “You’re probably unaware, but the lost Princess Ahsoka is now held in hero worship levels of regard on Shili. Your bravery in the face of death and willingness to sacrifice yourself for your people is heralded across Korvala. The story of your last stand at the city gates has reached mythical proportions. People speak of you like an avenging angel that will one day return to free them. You’ve become the hope of those who wronged you.”

Ahsoka swallowed. “You’re not serious.”

“Quite,” Unduli replied. “And there’s more. A few weeks ago, we were contacted by a group of resistance fighters in Korvala. Some died in the effort to infiltrate a communication tower simply to reach us. Apparently, the Jedi Knight…” She glanced at Barriss. “... that aided your escape, told them the Jedi defend those who can’t defend themselves.”

Looking up at Barriss, Ahsoka smiled. “I wasn’t the only one that believed you.”

The woman’s jaw clenched, but she didn’t respond.

Returning attention to their visitors, Ahsoka said, “Barriss didn’t tell them she was a Jedi. I did as part of a ploy. Just want that clear, in case impersonating a Jedi breaks one of your laws.”

Kenobi shrugged. “We assumed there was merely confusion. I understand Barriss has constructed a new lightsaber. Though, at the time, we had no idea who they were talking about as we were not aware of her involvement.”

“Yes,” Unduli chimed in. “Dooku announced you were executed off-world. The people don’t believe it. Or perhaps, they don’t want to believe it. However, we were also under the impression you had perished in an incident on a consular ship not long after escaping.”

Ahsoka flinched. “I would have or worse, except someone _you_ don’t consider a Jedi almost died saving me, despite it being of no benefit to her.”

Barriss squeezed her shoulders. “How did you find out Ahsoka was not only alive but with me?”

Kenobi smiled. “Padmé Amidala. I happened to be discussing the Shili situation with her. She offered a rather cryptic statement about Barriss having a new partner but refused to elaborate. Combined with the reference to a Jedi and an unknown mercenary hired to deliver you from Korvala made it a logical conclusion.”

Ahsoka grunted. “Guess she really did get my joke. I still don’t understand what any of this has to do with a revolution or me. If you want to stop Dooku, why don’t you just do it?”

He scooted closer. “These rebels requested Jedi assistance, but also begged us to tell the Tunguma Tano of the people’s suffering. That, if she returned, they would commit to her service. They even offered to give their own lives in recompense for those they had taken from her, if she would only consider helping their fellow citizens, who did not deserve the horrors their actions had inflicted upon them.”

She wrapped arms around her stomach and looked away. “I see.”

“Dooku has presented a different face to the Senate, even hosting what I’m sure are carefully choreographed visiting delegations in the capital. He has also pointed out that a citizen-led transition of power is legally supported under Republic law. They have temporarily accepted his leadership of Shili, while they debate the matter. That discussion has been ongoing since the revolution. We cannot take direct action without Senate approval and an invasion requires the aid of Republic troops. After a year of fruitless debate, we fear neither will ever come.”

Unduli added, “We could provide logistical support, weapons, and other resources. However, to overthrow Dooku would require an internal revolution of the people to have legitimacy and gain Senate support. A revolution you could make happen.”

Ahsoka clenched her fists. “Of course. What you’re saying is, you want the people who’ve already suffered to fix your mistakes. Because being a Jedi means playing politics at the expense of what is right.”

Kenobi bristled. “That’s not fair.”

“I wasn’t trying to be. Fairness isn’t the same as truth. Reality is never fair, and you’ve become one of the reasons.” Despite the restraining hand on her shoulder, Ahsoka’s anger spiked higher. “The Jedi are just like everyone else, more occupied with their own concerns than the people they claim to serve. Manipulating events and others to get the outcome _they_ want without sacrificing anything themselves. You know who that sounds like? At least, Dooku doesn’t deny being a selfish bastard. The Jedi even lie to themselves.” Her lip twisted. “I can’t believe I wanted to be one of you.” Jumping up, she stalked toward the hallway. “I think we’re done, guardians of peace and justice.”

“I believe,” Barriss announced, “Ahsoka may like some time to consider your proposal.”

Grinding her teeth, she halted. “Yes, I would. Perhaps, you’ll also take time to consider whether your inaction does more harm than good. The great and benevolent Jedi are already a myth to many. How long until you become the villains of the story? If a revolution taught me anything, it’s that living in a bubble helps no one. Soon, you may find the very people who most need your attention see you as no better than Dooku.” Then, she strode from the room.

Reaching the other side of the kitchen wall, Ahsoka slid down it and pulled knees to her chest. Burying her face into them, she fought the rising tears. Could she truly leave what had been her people to suffer? Her family shared the blame for allowing Dooku to take power. Shouldn’t she try to make things right? What would that mean for her new life? She wasn’t a princess anymore. Would Barriss even go with her? Ahsoka’s lungs choked. She couldn’t lose Barriss.

Voices floated out of the kitchen, and Ahsoka lifted her head to listen.

“Barriss, may we speak a moment?”

“I have no intention of convincing Ahsoka for you. She will decide her own path and—”

“It’s not about that,” Unduli interrupted. “I simply wanted to… see how you were.”

“Why?” Barriss asked flatly. “You haven’t cared to know that for three years.”

“That’s untrue,” Unduli replied with a pained voice. “I have been keeping track of you. You’ve done well. Very well. I understand you’re considered one of the best, if not the top, mercenary available. I’m more impressed by your reputation for choosing jobs based on principle rather than monetary inducements. Though, I would expect no less from you.”

“And? You’ve been keeping up with my work. That absolved you of any need to contact me or otherwise verify my wellbeing?”

“I assumed you would not wish it. This mission allowed me an opportunity to do so without being intrusive.”

“I see. Well, I’m doing fine. Now. That wasn’t true a year or two ago when I actually might have needed you to ask.”

A subdued sounding Unduli said, “I am sorry, Barriss. I can’t change what is done.”

Kenobi broke in, “You don’t believe your Master voted to expel you from the Order, I hope. Luminara fought the decision. She also requested the Council assign resources to investigate your allegations about Palpatine on more than one occasion. She was overruled, but it—”

His companion cut him off sharply, “None of that is important now, Master Kenobi.”

“It is to me,” Barriss interjected. “Please, continue.”

The man coughed. “Her insistence kept the matter open, which wasn’t easy. Luminara had to put up with less than subtle accusations that she was letting emotions compromise her judgment. I personally believe, if not for her adamance and pointing out the consistencies with your evidence, the Council wouldn’t have authorized immediate and full action regarding Palpatine. Not on the basis of Anakin’s insistence alone.”

There was a brief silence and then Barriss blurted, “I don’t understand. If you believed me, why didn’t you tell me that?”

Unduli answered with a hint of surprise, “I thought it would be of little comfort and sound as if I were excusing my earlier inaction. My help came too late and wasn’t successful. Based on your reaction, it appears I should have said it anyway.”

“Yes,” was the quiet response.

“Let me remedy another mistake then. Whether I thought you were wholly right in your conclusions is hard to say in hindsight. However, I knew the girl who was my padawan. She didn’t make judgments lightly and her analysis skills were superb. If she thought something was going on, I took notice. I went as far as I felt I could in good conscience after you brought the matter to our attention. When you defied the Council, I realized it wasn’t far enough.” She paused. “I do regret that, Barriss.”

Silence fell once more. Then, Barriss cleared her throat. “As you say, we can’t change the past. Though, I have never been opposed to you contacting me should you wish.”

Her stoic voice contained a note of brightness as she replied, “Thank you. I do wish it.”

Barriss released a deep exhale. “Well, I bid you both a safe journey. Ahsoka will inform you of her decision soon, I imagine.”

Footsteps retreated toward the entryway. “May the Force be with you, Barriss.” Then, the front door swished shut.

Ahsoka got up and walked into the kitchen. Barriss was still facing the closed door, both palms pressed into it. Moving beside her, Ahsoka said quietly, “I’m here.”

Barriss sucked in a ragged breath and turned a tear-streaked face to her. As more tears spilled from her eyes, she pressed herself into Ahsoka.

Wrapping the woman up in her arms, she murmured, “It’s going to be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Ahsoka and Barriss have big decisions to make! Since I can't comment further, how about some fun questions? _Heyyyyy... I heard that! My random question lists are super fun, I'll have you know. They even have bullet points that look like diamonds! What more could you want?!_
> 
> ♦Do the Jedi have a defendable position on Dooku? Is their new proposal/solution clever, terrible, reasonable, misguided, etc.?  
> ♦What about Ahsoka? Is she being unfair? Accurate? Angry at any number of things and taking it out on the Jedi? Or totally justified?  
> ♦A lot happened for Barriss in this chapter. What is she feeling now? What will she do if Ahsoka decides to return to Shili?  
> ♦Where are Obi-Wan & Luminara emotionally and mentally here? What's going on under the surface? Or was this simply another mission to them? What do they think of Ahsoka's criticisms?  
> ♦Did you have a favorite moment or thing you really liked in this chapter? Ok, this one isn't literary analysis. It's Gabby's paranoid writer analysis. You love me anyway, right? [Insert imaginary Barriss response here.]
> 
> You're not obligated to answer any of these questions, of course. Just trying to generate some thought bubbles. You know. For FUN. 🎉🎉🎉 _< \--Adding not just 1 but 3(!) party popper emojis seals the deal._


	14. Open Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We can't change what is done. How we handle what results is a different matter.

_“I know it’s you under there, Aunt Soka.”_

_Ahsoka rippled the white sheet covering her body. “Oooooooo… Princess B’asiaaaaaa…. I am not your amazing aunt. I am an ancient spirit from the Eternal Hunt, come to share my wisdom.”_

_“I can see your feet.”_

_“Gah! Be warned, child of the mortal plane. If you keep doubting my ghostly presence, I will haunt you FOREVER!”_

_“You’re being silly again. Mommy says princesses are only allowed to be silly once a week.”_

_“Outrageous! Besides, how do you know this isn’t my weekly allotment?”_

_“Because you were silly last night too.”_

_“You don’t say? Well, this is an embarrassing situation. What’s a lonely ghost to do without a cute niece to haunt?”_

_“Aunt Soka.” Her tone radiated all the exasperation of a seven-year-old forced to put up with a ridiculous adult. “It’s past my bedtime.”_

_Ahsoka groaned as she flailed her sheeted arms through the air. “As you wish, my little rule follower. I shall wisp my way out the door, so you may engage in your princessy beauty rest.”_

_“Wait! You didn’t kiss me goodnight.”_

_“Ah-hah! So, someone wants my company after all.” She rushed to the bed and enveloped her niece in billowing fabric. Tickling all down her side, Ahsoka cried, “The truth comes out!”_

_Badly hiding her giggles, the girl wriggled from her grasp. Picking up one end of the sheet, B’asia slipped underneath. She fluffed it over her own head and grinned up at Ahsoka. “Well, Mommy also says princesses are supposed to help people in need. And I know my favorite ghost will be lonely without me.”_

_She laughed and rubbed the tiny wingmark on her cheek. “That’s my silly girl.”_

Jerking up, Ahsoka fought to dig a path out of the dream. No, memory. It was a memory, right? Yes. Which way to reality? As she kissed her niece goodnight for the last time, Ahsoka pulled knees to her chest and rocked in the bed. It felt so real.

Giggles continued echoing in her montrals as B’asia’s room warped into a terrifyingly familiar place. She was outside the palace, smoke filling her lungs. Her surroundings blurred, leaving only one image in focus.

Ahsoka retched and tried to look away. But everywhere she turned her sister’s dead eyes stared back at her. They were lifeless yet pleading as if begging her to do something. But there was nothing she could do. Ahsoka was just as powerless now as she’d been then.

Lifting a trembling hand, she touched her sister’s cold cheek. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save any of you. I should have been there.” Why? What would she have done? Nothing.

Ahsoka crushed fists into the bed but couldn’t leave the moment. This wasn’t a memory, right? No. It felt different. Maybe it was an answer to the question plaguing her mind since Jedi dropped out of the sky to throw her new life into chaos. Maybe there _was_ something she could do. Maybe her family needed her to make things right.

The haunting vision faded, but Ahsoka still struggled to ground herself in reality. As the bedroom at last came into focus, she realized why. There was no hand on her shoulder, no soothing words of comfort, no solid presence to anchor herself to; there was no Barriss. The Mirialan’s spot contained nothing but a crumpled pillow. Ahsoka couldn’t recall ever waking up from a nightmare without Barriss beside her. And she definitely did not like the feeling.

Rolling up, she slipped on a robe and padded to the refresher. Slapping water on her face, Ahsoka gazed at herself in the mirror. A moment from another life surfaced. Or perhaps, it was the first moment of her new life.

She was standing on Barriss’s ship, dripping wet from a cleansing shower, ignoring her throbbing breast, and staring into a mirror. The same question she’d asked herself then came once more. A question she hadn’t thought about since the day Princess Ahsoka had died. A question she’d decided didn’t matter.

She reached out and traced her reflection. “Who are you?” Splaying fingers across her mirrored face, Ahsoka admitted the truth. “I still don’t know.” Pressing palms into the sink, she closed her eyes. “I’m Ahsoka Tano. That’s all I need to know, remember?”

Shaking herself, she straightened and went in search of Barriss. Their guest quarters were dark, but a breeze wafted through the sitting room. Crossing to the open veranda door, Ahsoka stuck her head out. She relaxed upon spotting the back of Barriss’s figure in the moonlight. “Hey, everything ok?”

Continuing to gaze into the night, the woman answered, “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” She walked over and stood beside her. “That was courtesy of my dreams.”

Barriss spun toward her. “You had a nightmare?” She reached up but then dropped her arm. Returning to her view of the city, she propped elbows on the railing. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. Though, it’s probably for the best.”

As she evaluated the tensed muscles and twitching jaw, a knot formed in her stomach. “What do you mean?” Getting no response, she brushed the woman’s cheek.

Barriss flinched at the touch.

Ahsoka jerked her hand away and blurted, “What’s wrong? Are you upset with me?”

She grimaced. “No. Not your fault. I’m in a strange mood tonight.” Barriss smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Since we’re both sleepless, do you want to discuss your dilemma? Have you made a decision?”

Gazing at the lights dotting the city landscape below, she sucked breath into her cheeks. Letting it out slowly, Ahsoka said, “I think maybe I have. Something in me can’t leave them to suffer. It doesn’t help that my family shares the blame for allowing this to happen. If I’m the only one left, I guess it’s my job to at least try and make things right.”

There was a short nod. “As I thought.”

“And you’re… ok with that decision?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course, it matters.”

“Why? It’s your choice. If you feel your place is in Shili, I understand. You don’t have to justify it. As I’ve always said, I’m not your only option. You can do many things in life.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

The woman glanced over. “What are you talking about?”

“Not what you are!” Grabbing her shoulders, she turned Barriss to face her. “You’re acting as if I’m leaving you or something.”

Her lips parted before pressing together. “Ahsoka. You’re going back to people who desperately want a leader, specifically their Princess. Did you plan to swoop in, start a revolution, and leave them in chaos again?”

“No. I don’t plan to become the new Emir of Shili, either. I know it might take a while to accomplish the objective, but we—” Her lungs began to choke. “When we talked about it, you said you’d support whatever I decided. I thought that meant, if I chose to do this, we’d do it together.”

Barriss blinked. “Oh.”

Ahsoka slumped against the railing. “You didn’t mean that at all, did you? Of course not. Why would you? You worked hard to create a new life and a business. Abandoning it for an extended period to aid ex-royalty in fixing her family’s mistakes doesn’t make sense.” She bit out a laugh. “That’s a holonovel, not reality. I never learn my lessons, do I? Stupid.”

A hand laid on her cheek. “Don’t say that. We both assumed things. I thought if you returned, you were there to stay. Us parting ways seemed implied by the situation. Let’s make sure we understand each other. You’re viewing this as a temporary mission?”

She looked up at her. “Is that stupid too? I intended to tell the Jedi I’d only do it if they brought in a Republic peacekeeping team to maintain order and install a new government afterward. I figured we’d do what needed to be done to help people and then go back to our life.”

Intense blue eyes searched her own. “Are you sure that’s what you want? You could do good there, even restore a measure of what was stolen from you.”

“What I want is right here. The Tunguma Tano belonged to Shili. She died with her family. Ahsoka Tano is who I am now.” Taking the woman’s hand, she clasped it to her chest. “And she belongs to Barriss Offee.”

There was a quick intake of breath. “But she can be more than that.”

“As long as it’s with you.” Ignoring the jittery feeling in her stomach, she rushed onward. “If you’re a mercenary, I’m a mercenary. If your dream is a cruise around the Isles of Serenno, I’ll charter our hoverboat. If you decide to be a hermit on an island, you’ll be a hermit with company. Where or what I am doesn’t matter. Only whether you’re with me.”

Barriss gazed at her for a long moment. Then, she pulled away and swung back toward the city. “Please, Ahsoka. Don’t do this to me.”

“I don’t understand. Do you not… want me?”

She winced. “I want you too much. The last few days have made me realize how far I’ve let myself—what you’re saying is not how reality works.”

“Why not? We’ve been doing fine, haven’t we?” Ahsoka crossed her arms. “You think I don’t really mean it.”

The lights of the city cast flickering shadows across her face. “I’m sure you believe what you said, but it can’t last forever.” She curled her fingers around the railing. “I’ve always known this day would come. I couldn’t help myself, though. You make me feel—it’s like I’m alive again.”

She edged closer but didn’t touch her. “Then, why are you pushing me away? Is this about Shili? Because I’m not going anywhere if it means losing you.”

“Stop it.” Her expression hardened. “I don’t want you to stay with me at the expense of yourself. Simply being with me won’t be enough. You need a greater purpose, one that helps those who can’t help themselves. It has nothing to do with being a princess. It’s part of who you are, no matter what life you’re living.”

Ahsoka frowned. “I get what you’re saying, but it still doesn’t make sense. That also applies to Barriss Offee. Why can’t we be who we are together, wherever that leads us?”

Her chin sunk to her chest. “Because the person you believe in isn’t someone I can truly be, Ahsoka. That foolish girl put her faith in others and a system she thought sacred. She had a destiny and a purpose. One she made her entire reality. When everything turned out to be a lie, it nearly destroyed Barriss Offee in the process. It stole a part of me I can’t get back. Do you understand?”

“You know I do.” The knot in her stomach clenched harder. She couldn’t lose Barriss. “I also understand when my reality crumbled, there was one person I chose to believe in. I gave her my last shred of faith. She didn’t let me down.”

Barriss’s eyes squeezed shut as she whispered, “And you’ve never let her down.”

“Yet,” Ahsoka finished the unspoken thought she could practically hear in her mind. “That’s the issue, isn’t it? You’re convinced it’s only a matter of time before I abandon, betray, or fail you. Believing otherwise means building your reality on another lie.”

“I don’t know,” she said hoarsely. “I only know the last time I believed in something, it took me to a place I can never risk going again.” Opening her eyes, Barriss stared down at her trembling fingers. “I don’t think I’m capable of giving myself to anyone or anything now. Even if I could get that part of me back, Jedi aren’t supposed to make permanent attachments for a reason. It’s dangerous. _I’m_ dangerous.” She clenched the railing so hard that her olive-skinned knuckles tinged white. “You don’t understand what I almost became. I can’t.”

“Whatever you’re scared of is not going to happen. I’ll always be here for you. I swear.” Her voice cracked. “Please, Barriss.”

Posture crumpling, she put a hand to her mouth as a muffled cry escaped. “I’m so sorry. I can’t handle being what you want. I don’t even know how.”

Ahsoka’s heart pounded against her ribs. It was happening again. And there was nothing she could do about it.

No! Heat flushed her skin. She wasn’t a helpless child anymore. She was Ahsoka Tano. And Ahsoka Tano could stop her reality from imploding. She would make the woman believe her. Get rid of everyone who’d hurt her. Remake the entire galaxy if necessary. Whatever it took. She wouldn’t lose Barriss. _Ever._

Something inside of Ahsoka recoiled at the intensity of her own desperation. A life without Barriss felt meaningless. Empty. Terrifying. Is that how love was supposed to feel?

Bracing herself against the railing, she attempted to wrangle the ricocheting emotions and center herself. The pulsing heat cooled as the fog cleared from her mind. Raising her gaze to the iridescent moons, Ahsoka ordered her thoughts. What came was the same damned question.

When she looked into the mirror, who was the person looking back at her? Ahsoka Tano. Who was Ahsoka Tano, then? The only answer she could come up with was the person who belonged to Barriss Offee. She curled fingers into her palms. Was that truly all she’d become? Or was there more she couldn’t see? Perhaps, it was time to find out.

“We’re like a mirror image,” Ahsoka murmured as she pulled together the idea forming in her mind. “You can’t picture a life with me, and I can’t picture a life with _out_ you. You reflect. I reflect back. Neither image reflects truth. Do you think either of us finished step two?”

The other woman ran hands over her face with a ragged breath. “W-what?”

“Remember, your three-step plan? We both chose to get up. Step two was treating our wounds, but no way we got them all. It’s as if we slapped a bandage on things and hoped they’d heal on their own. Then, we sprinted as fast as we could to step three. But some stuff is still there, right? When it flares up, I’ve just replaced the bandage and kept running. I started my new life with you—created my rules—with one goal. I wanted to leave the past behind; pretend it never happened and become someone new. Someone far removed from the powerless girl who’d lost everything.”

Raising her head, Barriss looked at her. “You’re suggesting we took whatever path would protect these deeper wounds, instead of dealing with them.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Or we may not have realized they were there.”

“Yeah. But now we do, right? We both might not have the same wounds, but I think we have the same problem. Neither of us can move forward properly after losing everything that defined us. It’s as if we don’t know where to go next, because we can’t see who we are now—or maybe who we can be. So, we’re treading water while pretending we’re swimming.” She started speaking faster as the idea took full shape. “Yes, exactly like a mirror. Your reflection never shows what’s really there. It reverses, skews, or deflects parts of you. We hid the wounds that hurt the most and became a fuzzy reflection of ourselves.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve mixed about five different metaphors during the course of this explanation,” she commented dryly.

Ahsoka threw a glare. Though, her heart lightened at the playful response. “Hey, I’m figuring out our weird psychological issues as I go here. It’s not easy being all deep and meaningful, you know.”

Barriss snorted. “Alright, let’s say your metaphor salad is applicable. How would you propose we go about healing these wounds?”

“I think we… smash the mirror.” She tapped her chin and then gave a quick nod. “Force ourselves to face what’s there. At the risk of being harassed about my metaphorical prowess, we need to rip the bandages off and see what the wounds look like.”

Face tightening, Barriss returned her gaze to the railing. “What if we reopen them but can’t stop the bleeding?”

Ahsoka shrugged. “Only one way to find out. If we don’t, something else will. That’s already happened to me more than once over the last year. It’ll keep happening. I’d rather do this my way, wouldn’t you?” Another memory floated to the surface. She was laying on a cot, clutching Barriss’s cloak like a lifeline, hurting and so very lost. Until… A smile touched her lips. Employing her best Barriss impression, she pronounced, “Having complications from an untreated wound is not how we make things better, Escort.”

The edges of her mouth quirked. “Touché, Princess.”

“Of course, healing is easier with help. Why don’t we finish step two together?” She held her hand palm-up in front of the woman. “Come with me to Shili. No commitments—just an experimental therapy of sorts. We’ll both start where we began. Let yourself be a Jedi again for a little while. I’ll be a Princess. Each of us pokes at our wounds a bit, testing the limits of what we can handle. Hopefully, that’ll help us better understand who we can or want to be. At the end of our metaphorical dip in the bacta tank, we’ll give step three another go. We can decide then whether that includes walking our paths together or apart. The best part of this crazy plan? Even if it doesn’t work for us, we’ll still be helping people the rest of the galaxy has forgotten. What do you say?”

Two, five, ten heartbeats passed. Then, glistening blue eyes lifted. Barriss locked fingers into hers with a soft smile. “Good plan, Ahsoka Tano.”

_______

Ahsoka sat in front of the comm unit and coded the channel to the Jedi Temple Barriss had provided. Her finger hovered over the transmit button. It continued to hover. Licking her lips, she glanced up at the woman pacing around the station. “Last chance to change our minds. Are we sure?”

Barriss grunted. “This whole operation was your idea.”

“Yeah, but now I’m wondering if I wasn’t one fuse short of a power coupling.”

“I’ve been wondering that since we met.”

Ahsoka squinted at her. “I’m serious, Barriss.”

“So am I,” she replied with an airy tone. Then, the woman halted her incessant circles with a long exhale. Barriss shook out her arms and moved behind Ahsoka. Laying hands on her shoulders, she massaged the tense muscles. “Let’s go, Princess. It’s time to rip the bandages off and hope we don’t bleed out.”

The weight pressing on her chest lightened, and Ahsoka grinned up at her. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.” Taking a deep breath, she punched the button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, looks like we're headed to Shili! Guess we'll see whether our gals can figure out their mess while freeing a planet. Easy peasy, yeah?
> 
> Random factoid: I almost forgot to post this chapter due to falling into the black hole of Youtube. I mean, did you see the oodles of Star Wars goodies Disney announced? How could I not waste my entire Friday night reveling in the madness? 🎉🎉🎉🎉 _Note the usage of the rarefied FOURTH party popper emoji. Don't see one of those everyday, amirite?_  
>  So, which project(s) are you most excited about? I'll give you one guess on mine.


	15. Changing Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation "Step Two Redux" begins.

“The Council has requested I also convey their dissatisfaction with our handling of your situation, Barriss,” Kenobi offered as he powered up the ship. “While we still do not condone your final action, we recognize our misjudgment played a significant role in events.”

“Is that meant to be an apology for destroying my life? If so, it’s terrible.”

There was a slight wince as he glanced up at her from his pilot’s seat. “I can’t really defend our errors, except to say we rarely had leisure to meditate on problems for any length of time. There was always another system that needed help or a report of Grievous to follow. We believed ending the war must be our highest priority to a fault. As Palpatine intended, no doubt. The idea of a duly elected public figure, who was well-known to the Jedi, participating in such a far-reaching conspiracy was also beyond our ability to conceive. There was no indication of Palpatine’s Sith affiliation, even in your own analysis, if you’ll recall. The only Sith we’d identified was the one we were fighting. We could not see a benefit to the Chancellor in sabotaging his own war effort.”

“I’d call it willful blindness,” Barriss replied flatly.

The man let out a long exhale. “There is an argument to be made for that, I suppose. The practical ramifications to the Order were high. It was no small thing to take dwindling Jedi resources from the battlefield to engage in what would certainly be a time-heavy and problematic endeavor. Secrecy would have been near impossible, given the scope required. Launching an investigation into the leader of the Republic during a war some believed us responsible for would’ve fueled more anger. Perhaps, producing suspicions we’d fabricated the situation to deflect blame or seize power. Making an enemy of the Chancellor certainly would have had significant consequences. I’m not excusing our mistakes as much as explaining the factors at play. The Council had to weigh all of this against the probability of your assessment leading to substantive outcomes.”

“And I lost to the expediency of politics wrapped up in a bow of the greater good. You didn’t even bother to find an alternative explanation for my evidence. You discarded it wholesale when you discarded me. Do you know how many died who could have lived?” Bitterness seeped into the words. “You ripped away the only home, the only life I’d ever known because I did what _you_ taught me was right.” A barely detectable waver entered her voice, and she looked away. “My faith is forever stained by hypocrisy. I can’t… believe anymore.”

Unduli’s head popped up from her programming of the navicomputer and twisted around. Keen eyes ran across Barriss, fixing on her twitching jaw. An emotion Ahsoka couldn’t identify passed through the older woman’s face, and her mouth opened. It quickly closed, however, and she turned back to her console.

Leaning unnoticed against the cockpit door, Ahsoka watched the Jedi stiffly resume her task. Luminara Unduli made no sense to her. The reaction she’d just witnessed merely added another layer of confusion. It revealed a surprising understanding of Barriss’s hidden tells, implying enough care and attention to learn them. If Unduli gave a damn, surely she wouldn’t have left the girl she’d practically raised adrift and alone in a harsh galaxy. Yet, she apparently occupied both spaces at once. Ahsoka couldn’t reconcile it.

Flattening palms against her thighs, Barriss returned attention to the Jedi. “Tell me, has the Council meditated on its actions in the last few years? You don’t have the war or Palpatine’s interference as an excuse now.”

“I’ve just indicated we regret our misjudgment,” Kenobi replied in obvious confusion.

“Not about me,” she snapped. “I was proven correct, so you were forced to accept some level of error. What about the rest of it? How did the Council allow a Sith to almost wipe you out? Why did you break your own code to fight a war and then let it consume you? What does the Order even stand for anymore? The entire Republic could have fallen due to your bad choices, yet you continue operating as if you’re the harbingers of light. The Jedi have lost their way and aren’t doing a damn thing about it.”

The man looked over at his companion with a hesitant expression. An odd look passed between them. Then, Unduli rotated her entire seat to face Barriss. Clearing her throat, she said, “We are aware an examination would be wise. How would you suggest we go about doing so? Are there specific areas you believe warrant attention? In your view, where are we failing?”

Taking a deep breath, Barriss answered in a calmer tone, “You can’t fix what you don’t understand. Emerging from your protected temples scattered across the galaxy like saviors from on high isn’t enough. Swooping in to settle galactic disputes and then vanishing isn’t enough. Serving as on-call heavies to achieve the goals of the Republic political elite isn’t enough. Live among the people, experience their problems, and help resolve them everyday. Even a week in their reality will make your failures clear.”

She nodded. “Very well. We will meditate on your advice.”

“By all means, meditate. However, I also hope you remember principles mean nothing without action.”

Straightening from her slouch, Ahsoka decided to finally announce her presence. “Well, I can see this trip is going to be fun.”

All three of them jerked around to look at her with matching grimaces.

Barriss rubbed hands over her face. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to load the rest of our supplies before departure.”

Ahsoka shook her head. “I’ve already finished, while you all were… discussing.”

The woman’s expression tightened, eyes blinking rapidly. “I’ll check everything against the manifest then.”

Spotting the turmoil beneath the surface, Ahsoka tried to clean up her mistake. “Oh, yep. Good idea.” She laughed awkwardly and jumped out of the doorway. “I’m always forgetting the most important stuff.”

“That’s not true.” Barriss kissed her cheek. “You know how obsessive I am. It’ll make me feel better to know where everything is.”

She brushed fingers across her arm and murmured, “Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

There was a weak grin and then Barriss exited the cockpit.

Ahsoka pivoted back to the Jedi. “Seriously? I left you three alone for ten minutes.”

Kenobi grunted. “I only tried to apologize.”

“Badly,” Unduli put in sharply without looking up from programming their coordinates.

The man huffed as he throttled the engines to standby. “You deliver the Council’s messages next time then.”

“I have no intention of doing any such thing. You volunteered yourself for the job, _Negotiator._ ”

“Well, get used to it, _Council Member_ Unduli. We’ve yet to inform them of the rest.”

Her face pinched. “Don’t get snippy with me, Obi-Wan.”

Ahsoka tsked. “You Jedi are awfully high-strung. Maybe you should take an occasional day off from political intrigue and message delivery from on high.”

Both of them threw glares back at her.

She lifted palms into the air. “Yeah, I think I’ll just go help Barriss with whatever it is we don’t need to do.”

Unduli sighed. “Once we’re in hyperspace, we do have to discuss a few operational details.”

“Sure. I’ll be somewhere in this ginormous ship you’ve brought, practicing my outrage.” Ahsoka smirked and walked out to matching sounds of exasperation.

_______

“It’s also been decided I alone will accompany you planet-side,” Kenobi said. “As the situation evolves, the Council will further evaluate assignments and resources.”

Ahsoka crossed her arms. “One Jedi Master and a cache of weapons is your idea of assistance?”

He grimaced. “Both Master Unduli and I encouraged a stronger show of on-the-ground support, but the Council felt a minimal early presence would be wiser.”

The other Jedi added, “We’ve been promised a reassessment as the situation evolves. I know this is disappointing, and we will continue to communicate your needs.” Unduli stole a glance at Barriss. “Others share your view that we’ve already abetted Dooku through our tepid strategies and restrained response. I believe we have a strong chance of gaining more resources once operations are underway.”

“Especially,” Barriss said tartly, “if we produce results and there is no Senate backlash when your involvement becomes known. The Jedi no longer believe in commitment to righteous causes that others may view as lost ones.”

Kenobi rubbed his forehead. “Perhaps, you have a point. However, I am here and will give my life if necessary in this cause.”

Her face softened. “We do welcome your assistance, Master. I don’t intend to paint with such a wide brush.”

He gave her a wan smile. “No, that is as it should be. Whether one agrees or not, one must represent the Council’s will when carrying out its decisions, including fielding criticisms.”

Barriss groaned. “Please, stop. You’re waving a meal in front of a rancor. The forced conformity and unchallenged tradition is another topic altogether. An organization can have shared values without stifling individuality and independent thought. Otherwise, how will it ever evolve?” She paused, eyes flicking to Unduli. “I’m only trying to say that while I believe the Order has lost its way, I do not believe all of its members are lost.”

The other Mirialan’s posture relaxed. “I am glad. I hope we will have the opportunity to discuss these matters further. Unfortunately, I was ordered to deliver you safely and then complete another critical mission. However, my wish is to rejoin you in the near future. I very much intend to push the issue with the Council.”

“Good,” Barriss murmured. The women gazed at each other for a few moments.

Ahsoka coughed. “Right. I guess we’ll have to work with what we’ve got for now. Did you convey my conditions?”

Kenobi nodded. “It is agreed. If you can build up the groundswell needed and make Dooku vulnerable, the Jedi will directly aid any operation to capture or neutralize him. I’ll keep them advised on our progress. Also, a peace-keeping team in the aftermath is easily accomplished as well as advisement from the Republic Political Affairs committee. Most of their work involves helping create or reestablish governmental systems in the wake of various events, especially on a planetary scale.”

Barriss tapped a finger against her chin. “Does Senator Amidala still sit on that committee? Can we request her in the lead role?”

His eyebrows lifted. “Yes, she does. We can certainly communicate your wish for her participation. I imagine it will depend on her availability and rotation.”

“Either way,” Barriss replied, “Shili reserves the right to decline assistance based on who is assigned.”

Unduli frowned. “What is your concern?”

“Some members of the committee are too focused on their own position and success. Their motives may not be in the best interests of Shili. For instance, if Shili chooses a democratic system, there are a different number of Senate representatives. A Senator trying to build a coalition may tailor their advice to serve their own political needs.”

Ahsoka massaged her temples. “I’m already getting a headache.”

Kenobi shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll find a solution that works for all parties. Eventually.”

She grunted. “You Jedi need to up the game on your motivational speeches.”

A dry chuckle came from Unduli. “Your request is noted, Princess.”

Ahsoka jerked her head up. The intonation was so like Barriss. As she stared at the not quite impassive face, a grin crept onto her own. “Better be.”

_______

Ahsoka felt Barriss start to draw her arms behind her back. It was an experience she was extremely tired of having. As her face squashed against the floor, she calmed the frustration and focused. That’s when she had an idea. 

Coiling her muscles, Ahsoka waited for the moment Barriss would need to switch her grip. “Not this time.” She shoved the lower half of her own body up with so much force her legs left the mat. Barriss lost her hold for only a second, but it was enough.

Twisting underneath the woman, Ahsoka broke free and threw her arms straight out. Then, she locked a knee around one of Barriss’s legs and rolled them both. Ending up on her side, she scuttled across the cargo hold.

Ahsoka called Unduli’s borrowed saber from where Barriss had knocked it two minutes ago. Activating the weapon mid-flight, she brandished it in the nick of time to block her opponent’s.

Barriss stared at her through the blue and green of their locked blades. “You did it.”

She produced a dramatic pout. “Didn’t you insist I’d learn how to avoid your reverse submission hold one day? It’s like you didn’t really believe it or something. I should be personally offended.”

Her eyes flicked upwards. “Guess that day has come. Lucky me.”

“You look worried, Escort.” Ahsoka delivered a casual swipe against the other woman’s saber. “If you need cooking lessons, I could provide a few tips. Assuming you make it worth my while.”

“Don’t get cocky, Princess.”

She smirked. “I think you’re just nervous that a certain Jedi Master is going to return from her holocall while I’m making you look bad.”

Barriss shot a glare and then spun into a series of rapid strikes.

Backing up to fend her off, Ahsoka soon found herself running out of room to maneuver. Time to be creative. She dropped into a crouch and faked a leg sweep but then launched herself up like a rocket. Flailing as she nearly crashed into a beam in the ship’s ceiling, she managed to arc down with limited grace on the other side of the cargo hold and immediately pivoted into a defensive stance.

However, Barriss hadn’t moved from her prior position. Her head tilted. “When did I teach you that move?”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “You didn’t. Well, not directly.”

Her lips quirked. Circling just out of range, she asked, “Care to elaborate on that cryptic statement?”

Ahsoka sidled toward the center of the space. “On Dantooine last month, you did something similar. Except, you leapt a zillion feet to the left. Figured I’d try the launch myself to the sky version.”

There was a snort. “Did I teach you this one?” Barriss charged forward in a direct assault.

Their sabers clashed again and again. Lunge, parry, counter, parry. Breaths coming harder, Ahsoka quipped, “No feints, pushes, or fancy spins? I’m disappointed.”

“Sometimes, the most effective option is the direct approach.” Barriss swung into a set of repeated attacks, varying her force, position, and angle with each new strike. “Single-minded intensity isn’t bad, but it is risky. You must consider extraneous or environmental factors. Surprise can be deadly. If conditions are favorable, it can be the ideal strategy when facing a superior opponent, the counters are consistent, or fatigue is threatening. Do you understand what I mean?”

Ahsoka blinked. “Yeah, actually.” Opening her stance, she let herself meld into the environment. Nothing except an instinctual awareness filled her senses—the speed and pitch of the saber hitting hers, the subtle intake of breath that came with a new swing, even the slight pull in the air when the blade changed directions. What had seemed like random attacks she was scrambling to block became a rhythm. Her body started anticipating each move, saber following its commands. Concentrating on the feeling, she waited. Then, her chance came.

Instead of parrying what appeared to be the beginning of a low slashing strike, she knew it would be high. Ahsoka dropped into a split. As the blade whipped over her lekku, she sliced her saber into Barriss’s side.

The training shock sent the Mirialan sprawling across the mat. Barriss rolled onto her back and started to raise her weapon but froze at seeing the green blade at her throat.

Ahsoka stared down at her. “Um, did I just…?”

Eyes bulging, Barriss moved her mouth but nothing came out. Then, it slowly curved into a smile. She returned the saber to her belt and then reached up. “You win, Princess.”

Continuing to stare, she said, “Right. I… win.”

Her eyebrow cocked. “Is this your method of rubbing it in or do you simply enjoy the sight of me flat on my back?”

Adrenaline flushed her veins. Deactivating the saber, Ahsoka grabbed her hand. “Why can’t it be both?” Pulling Barriss into her arms, she crushed lips against hers.

The other woman squeaked and then lifted hands to grip her face as she returned the kiss in kind. After several moments of bliss, Ahsoka broke contact but didn’t release her hold. Gazing at Barriss, she whispered, “Did I really beat you?”

“Yes, you really beat me.” Trailing fingers down a lek, Barriss murmured, “You are exceptional, Ahsoka Tano.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Round and round we go. Where we stop, nobody knows!


	16. Tunguma Tano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tunguma Tano returns.

Ahsoka scuffed a foot along the ground as she watched the figures skid down the sandy slope. They’d evaded detection and landed in the wilderness outside of Korvala. While the rest of them reconned the area, Kenobi had hiked off to rendezvous with the Jedi’s resistance contact. After their sweep had come up clean, there’d been nothing to do but wait for his return. He’d finally reappeared atop a nearby dune with three companions, who were shrouded in thick robes.

Stopping herself from adjusting her hood for the fifth time, she ordered her jittery muscles to cease and desist. Unfortunately, they didn’t appear to be in the listening mood today. Wonderful. Thirty minutes on Shili, and her nerves were already shot.

Kenobi’s group arrived at their position. The man slapped caked sand off his cloak as he said, “These are members of the Korvala resistance. They’re going to guide us to a secure location in the city.”

The newcomers didn’t give any sign of acknowledgment and simply stood in motionless silence. Ahsoka recognized the prudence of anonymity. Introductions now would be foolish, should any of them be captured along the way. And she hadn’t spoken or confirmed her identity either. Still, the hovering set of faceless shadows only heightened her anxiety.

Unduli clasped hands over her stomach. “I’ll take my leave then.” Her hood angled toward Barriss. A pause hung in the air, but nothing was said. After a couple of seconds, she shifted her attention back to the entire group with a stiff bow. “May the Force be with you.” Pivoting around, she walked toward the ship.

Barriss fidgeted with her sleeve, cloaked face fixed on the woman’s retreating form. Then, she jerked into motion. “Give me a moment.” She caught up to her former master on the boarding ramp.

Ahsoka used the delay to run through control exercises. However, her concentration kept breaking. Ignoring the disquieting figures silently hovering two meters away, she instead focused on the conversing Mirialans. Whatever passed between them resulted in both women’s postures relaxing. Ahsoka let out a huge breath. For some reason, seeing Barriss calm made the churning in her own stomach recede to manageable levels.

When Barriss returned to her side, Ahsoka lifted her chest and shoulders into the bearing of a Princess. “Alright. Let’s go. We have a planet to free.”

Three cloaked heads swished toward her. Turning to face Ahsoka, the rebels gave her deep bows. Then, one swept an arm in the direction of Korvala and they all set off into the night.

_______

A sandpit halted their progress near the outskirts of Korvala. Instead of skirting the obstacle, one of their guides pointed a palm-sized remote at it. An electronic whir rose from the ground. Thick layers of sand heaved and swirled before being sucked away to reveal a metal hatch. Unsealing it, the lead rebel watched his compatriots vanish down the opening and then motioned for Ahsoka to follow.

Spotting the top rung of a ladder, she climbed after them. Hopping off near the bottom, Ahsoka scanned the underground passage. The minerals embedded in the milky quartz beneath her feet emitted a soft glow, illuminating the path and a portion of roughly hewn sandstone walls. She noted a nearby juncture splitting off in three directions, which implied an entire system of connecting tunnels running under the city. Given the resources and time required to construct such a feat, she suspected the rebels had commandeered a pre-existing smuggler’s route. Still, the ingenuity impressed her.

They resumed their trek until hitting what looked like a sewer access port, and everyone clambered up another ladder. Emerging in the city, Ahsoka squinted through the flickering street lamps, attempting to ascertain their location. Her muscles seized up. No.

She’d walked straight into her nightmares. They were standing in the Alakhi sector. The place where her life had entered a freefall. Images flooded her mind of screaming people, billowing smoke, and smashing glass. Street after never-ending street of it as she’d worked so hard to get back home. A home she hadn’t known no longer existed.

Shoving the turmoil away, she marched after the group. However, each step spawned more memories. Everywhere she looked, Ahsoka saw the past in surreal yet vivid hues. Horror, confusion, and panic emerged from the recesses of her mind.

She fought to compartmentalize the sensations. Dropping a trembling hand to her hip blaster, she gripped the tangible reminder of the present. Ahsoka Tano wasn’t a helpless child. She could handle the past and the future. Her pulse slowed as the intensity of the memories dulled.

Confidence returning, she continued onward. They arrived at a nondescript warehouse, nestled amid the many others in the Alakhi industrial district. Ahsoka shivered. This place reminded her of the one she and Barriss had taken refuge in that first terrible night after the revolution. It was a lifetime away from where she’d ended up, yet now felt as if it happened yesterday.

Waving at the side entrance, their guides slipped through it. Ahsoka hesitated at the threshold, trying to settle her nerves. A hand slid into hers and Barriss rubbed a thumb over her fingers.

Smiling beneath her hood, she squeezed back. Then, Ahsoka strode into the unknown.

_______

After winding through the main loading bay, their journey finally ended in an adjoining office. One of the rebels sealed the door as another shuddered the bay observation window.

Moving to the far wall, Ahsoka forced herself not to fidget. There’d been better opportunities to kill her along the way if that was their intention. Kenobi positioned himself slightly back on her left side. However, Barriss stayed by the door, hand resting on her belted saber. Ahsoka took comfort in the fact she wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.

The cloaked figures formed a line in front of her, and at last removed their hoods. Ahsoka suppressed a gasp. She recognized all three from their showdown at the city gates. Despite the passage of a year, the faces remained burned into her mind. On the right was the elder Togruta that had bristled under the suggestion of them being responsible for the riots. The young human woman with the shock of flaming hair, who’d accused her father of killing their emissaries, occupied the other end. And between them stood their unusual leader, the Togruta she’d once dubbed Hawk Eyes.

Pulling off her own hood, Ahsoka crossed her arms. “I’d introduce myself, but I believe we’ve met.”

The older Togruta blurted, “You remember us?”

“I generally remember people who declare I’m evil incarnate and then try to murder me.” They were also the ones who’d chosen to let her escape by opening the gates, but she wasn’t in the mood to give them any reprieve.

He winced. “Yes.”

Hawk Eyes sighed. “That’s why we’re here, Tunguma Tano. We’ve come to face justice. Who fired which killing shots we can’t say. But us three led both the execution squad and the revolution that took everything from you. It’s us you should hold responsible.”

He got down on his knees, his companions following suit. They laid their blasters on the floor. The woman stared straight ahead, lip trembling. The older Togruta closed his eyes. However, the hawkish gaze remained fixed on her. “Our lives are yours.”

Her lips pressed into a thin slash. “Why?”

The man blinked. “What?”

“Why did you do it?” Ahsoka clipped. “Don’t feed me the party line. I want to know why _you_ thought a violent uprising and murdering my entire family was the only way. I understand anger and desperation, but many were angry and desperate. What pushed you from being simply another unhinged rioter into leading a revolution for Dooku?”

He looked away. “What does it matter now?”

“It matters to me. You said your life was mine. Tell me about that life.”

After several seconds, he dragged his gaze back to her. “I owned a repair shop. Nothing big, but enough to take care of my kids.” His jaw tightened. “Their mother died, few years back. Our third child come too early, you see, and neither one—well, we went on best we could.” A soft smile formed. “Our oldest, Jerhik, was only eleven but could fix most anything you put in front of him. Had his mother’s brains.”

His smile faded. “One day, city soldiers barged into the shop. Claimed there was some new law, where I had to give ‘em half my earnings for the week. I said I didn’t hear no such thing and wasn’t gonna do it either way. They were none too happy. Guess Jer heard ‘em tossing me around and ran outta the back room. Fought good too, zapped a couple with a power conduit he was working on.” A slight tremor entered his tone. “But he didn’t have no chance against armed soldiers. One raised his blaster and just—just blew a hole in my boy’s chest. Like it was nothing. Then, they grabbed whatever they wanted and left. I couldn’t get myself up, so I tried to crawl to Jerhik. Least, I could hold my boy in my arms as he died.” His voice choked. “I didn’t make it in time.”

Ahsoka swallowed. “So, you decided to get revenge on those you believed responsible?”

He shook his head. “No time for that nonsense. I had my little girl to take care of still. She needed her dad to be strong. I salvaged what I could from my shop to reopen but then Jessah got real sick. Other kids too. A rumor went round saying the lunches at their school had done it, cause the government had sent bad meat to our district. Dunno if that was true, but Jess kept getting worse. I didn’t have no credits for a proper healer. We’d run through our savings, while I was recovering from my beating. So, I carried her to one of those free clinics. We were packed into the waiting area like sandrats. They didn’t call hardly nobody back to see a healer. The woman next to us said she’d come every day that week and hadn’t got called. I didn’t see no other choice though and just hoped Jess would get lucky. But at the end of the day, they closed and kicked us out.”

She curled fingers into her palms, old regret surging once more. Princess Ahsoka, living in her little bubble as people’s lives fell apart.

The man stared off into empty space. “Not sure I can do no justice to the feeling. Your child gasping for breath as her body shakes from the pain is worse than anything you ever heard. And she looks at you with these eyes that somehow still believe in you. But you’re helpless to make good on that faith.” The spark of intensity in his hawkish gaze faded into a blank dullness. “Do you know what it’s like to realize you’re powerless? You’re gonna lose everything, and there ain’t nothing you can do to stop it." His voice cracked. "Nothing at all.”

Her ribs tightened, and she whispered, “Yes.”

His attention snapped back to her. He grimaced. “Guess you’ll understand when I say it near broke me. I quick and dirtied my busted speederbike and took off to the palace. After the engine blew, I just ran. Soon as I saw the walls, I started raising holy damnation ‘bout needing to talk to someone. I screamed, slammed myself against the gates, all kinds of mad things. But the guards inside didn’t answer, not even to tell me to bug off. They acted like I wasn’t there, like I was _nothing._ ”

Ahsoka pressed palms into her thighs. How could her father have been so blind? These weren’t city soldiers reporting to some corrupt commander. They were elite palace guards. A crazed citizen, who was either desperate or a threat, was literally beating on the gates they protected. Yet, they’d done nothing. Ahsoka pushed the thought away. Reconciling the father she’d adored with the picture a revolution had painted wasn’t something she’d ever been able to resolve. And this was certainly not the moment to try again.

He dug knuckles into his eyes and then took a deep breath. “I lost my mind. I was gonna try and climb the wall, even if it got me killed, when a posh transport came speeding up. I threw myself in front of the gate and made a helluva scene. You coulda knocked me over when Lord Dooku got out. No guards or nothing. Instead of being angry, he just listened to my wild rambling. Then, he put me in his transport and told ‘em to go to my home. On the way, Dooku commed his personal healer to come look at Jess.”

She rubbed her arm. “He healed her?”

The lines of his face hardened. “No. The healer helped best he could but said she had Shadow Fever. It could only be cured by some fancy drug that was hard to get. Without it, people mostly died after a few months. Even if she lived, Jess would have problems forever. Lord Dooku consoled me and sent his healer back every week to give her shots that helped the pain. One day, Dooku showed up saying he’d checked the royal stores. There was a bunch of that drug Jess and the other kids needed there. Claimed he’d begged the Emir to distribute it, but he wouldn’t. Dooku looked right distraught. Said he hated to see people suffer but didn’t have no power to change things by himself. Since I was good at organizing community events and knew a lot of people, he thought we maybe could form a group to do it together. Told me to really think ‘bout the idea, cause if we wanted our kids to live and stop all the other terrible things, we’d have to make it happen ourselves.”

Ahsoka squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment. “You believed it was the only way to save her.”

He jerked assent. “Course I was angry too and thought we’d be helping everyone. Still, don’t think I’d have done what I did if not for her. I never liked killing, even during the hunt.”

“And did Dooku provide the treatment afterward?”

There was a bitter laugh. “What do you think?”

Ahsoka hesitated. “Did Jessah survive?”

The man blinked rapidly. “Aye. The other kids died. Every last one, ‘cept Jess. It don’t make no damn sense. But ain’t nothing make sense to me anymore. Guess she was lucky or unlucky, depending on how you see it. She can’t walk and the pain is bad sometimes. Listening to your little girl trying to stay quiet while she cries, cause she don’t want you to be sad is—I might deserve that special kinda hell, but she don’t. Worst part is you can’t do a damn thing to fix it. When you tried, all you did was hurt more people.”

He let out a shaky breath and glanced at his companions, who now had tears streaming down their faces. “Sildon and Pela have different but really the same stories. People wanting to stop being helpless. Trusting the wrong person. Wishing they’d never met the evil that destroyed who they were. Please, don’t make ‘em live it over again. What’s done is done. Can’t you just get this over with?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Who will take care of your daughter if I do?”

“Other rebels.” His jaw clenched. “They’ll tell her I died trying to free everyone and making up for my mistakes. Maybe she’ll be able to be proud of her father one day. That’s all I can give her now.”

Ahsoka scrubbed hands over her face. “Enough of this. Get up. If you want to die for our people, do it in a way that matters.”

They just stared back at her in blank confusion. 

She flicked her hand impatiently. “Up, I said. All of you. I’m not going to kill the people I came here to help.”

The rebels glanced at each other and then hesitantly rose to their feet. 

Ahsoka took a cleansing breath and then straightened. “Alright, where is everyone else? Do you have a meeting place? We need to talk about how to move forward.”

Hawk Eyes still looked dazed. “Uh, right. Most of ‘em are waiting in the rear loading bay. After you’d left the office, a lookout was watching to get you.”

She snorted. “In case I got on a roll and decided I wanted more than three people for revenge?”

The man cringed. “Sorta.” He paused. “They were also going to bring you something. Something you lost. Can we get it now?”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrows. “Very well.”

“Sil and Pela, do you want to go?” The three of them huddled by the door in a whispered conference.

Kenobi moved to stand beside her. “Well done, Tunguma Tano.”

She grunted. “Because I didn’t murder anyone?”

“Because you sought understanding, not revenge. You would have been within Togruta custom to enact retribution. Instead, you chose mercy. That tells your people more than any speech ever would.”

“I didn’t do it for political points, Jedi. I did it because it was right.”

Kenobi smiled. “As I said, well done.”

Hawk Eyes returned to her as the other two hurried from the room. “So, I gotta explain. When we were talking at the gates, there’s a part I left out. Only the three of us knew and would’ve been dangerous to say. We weren’t sure where you were since then to tell you. Probably wouldn’t have put it in a message anyway. Dooku’s people are always listening.”

Her brow furrowed. “Am I supposed to understand what you’re talking about?”

He licked his lips. “I couldn’t do it, you see. When I looked into her eyes, it was like looking into Jessah’s. Sil didn’t like it neither. Didn’t see no reason for it. We locked her in the pantry instead. Told everyone we’d done it but putting her body outside would look bad to the people, so we’d left the kid in her bed. Then, I said to burn the palace to send a message. We figured Dooku wouldn’t know that way. That’s when we smuggled her out.”

Ahsoka’s body rooted to the floor. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

The door slid open, and the answer appeared. B’asia froze with a small cry. “Aunt Soka?”

Tears flooded her eyes, and Ahsoka raced across the room. Grabbing her up, she crushed the girl against her chest.

Hawk Eyes coughed. “We, um, took care of her best we could. She’s been staying mostly with me. Told people she was an orphan from the riots. Actually, Bay’s a little bright spot in our lives, ‘specially for Jess.”

Ahsoka choked breath after breath. Reigning in her spinning emotions, she pulled the girl back to look at her. “Hey, you.” She rubbed her niece’s cheek over and over again. “I missed you so much. Are you ok?”

B’asia gazed at her. “You’re crying, Aunt Soka. Princesses aren’t supposed to cry.”

She sniffled a laugh and wiped her face. “This one does.” Performing a quick assessment, she was pleased to see her niece appeared clean and healthy. The once stubby lekku had grown a couple of inches as had the rest of her. Her face seemed older than it should, more serious than the giggling child from her memories. Of course, losing everything forced you to grow up faster. Kissing her forehead, Ahsoka murmured, “I’m here. It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

The girl’s lip began trembling. “Everybody, even Mommy, died you know. Dooku made people kill them. But they said you might be alive. Everyone talked about you coming back one day. I waited and waited. Why didn’t you come get me?”

Ahsoka gripped her face. “I’m so sorry, little one. I didn’t know you were alive until this moment. I had to hide from Dooku, so no one could tell me. If I had known you were here, I swear I would have fought through an entire army to get to you.”

Her face brightened. “Oh. That makes sense. It’s ok. Petyr has been taking care of me. He’s taught me lots. I know how to fix all kinds of stuff now. I can even drive a speeder!”

She squinted at Hawk Eyes, or Petyr rather. “Is that right?”

The man rubbed the back of his neck. “What can I say? Girl’s a natural. Understands electronics and engines real good. She don’t drive speeders on her own, course.”

B’asia huffed. “I could if anyone would let me. Oh, and Aunt Soka, I have a friend! A real one. Her name is Jess.” She frowned. “But she’s sick. Can you make her better?”

Barriss spoke for the first time since they’d entered the office. “Let’s find out.” Tearing her gaze away from Ahsoka and B’asia, she addressed Petyr, “Is your daughter with the others? Can I examine her?”

A glimmer of hope sprang into the man’s eyes. “Um, I’m not saying I wouldn’t appreciate it, but I didn’t ask you all here for myself. I’m just trying to make things right.”

Rising to her feet, Ahsoka tucked B’asia against her side. “That’s why I’m here, Petyr. Whether it means starting another revolution or helping a child I couldn’t before is the same to me.” Holding her niece tighter, she added, “You’ve restored a piece of my heart. Let’s see if we can restore a piece of yours.”

He sucked in a breath and then made a deep bow. A hoarse voice whispered, “Thank you, Tunguma Tano.”

She nodded. “I think it’s time to meet everyone else.” As Petyr and Kenobi exited the room, Ahsoka snagged Barriss’s arm. “B’asia, this is my friend Barriss. She’s the one who saved me.”

The girl stared up at her. “You’ve been taking care of Soka?”

Barriss’s lips twitched. “I’ve been trying. She’s a handful.”

Her niece giggled, and joy filled Ahsoka’s heart. It was the giggle she remembered. B’asia replied with childlike sympathy, “It must have been hard. Aunt Soka’s always in trouble.” Her expression fluctuated and then she wrapped arms around Barriss. “Thanks.”

Looking more than a little awkward, Barriss clumsily patted the girl on the back. “Yes, well, she helped me too. Just like I’m sure you help Petyr.”

B’asia pulled away with a pleased grin. “Yep.” Grabbing Barriss’s hand, she insisted, “Come on. We need to help Jess.” Reaching over to take Ahsoka’s, the girl dragged them both out the door.

Ahsoka held onto the small fingers with a smile she wasn’t sure would ever leave her face.

_______

As they entered the rear loading bay, silence fell. B’asia pressed herself closer, and Ahsoka stroked the girl’s montrals. She surveyed the diverse assembly of species, genders, and ages. There were hundreds of people packed into the space. All here because they believed she could help them.

Clearing her throat, Ahsoka went with a simple, “Hello.”

There were exchanged glances and then everyone dropped to a knee. A child, sitting in a battered wheelchair at the far end, came into view.

B’asia tugged on her arm and whispered, “There’s Jess.”

Ahsoka coughed. “Everyone, please rise. We’ll talk in a moment.” Heading across the bay, she stopped in front of the girl. Her lekku growth and face markings suggested an age close to B’asia’s, despite her figure being much smaller and thinner. “Hi there, Jessah. I hear you aren’t feeling well.”

The child gawked up at her. “No, ma’am, but I’m ok. Bay worries too much.” Petyr approached them, and Jess brightened. “Daddy, you’re back. I thought you said you might be gone a long time on your trip?”

His face tightened and then he kissed her montrals. “Not anymore. Looks like I’m here to stay for a while.”

Barriss whipped out her portable medscanner. “Do you mind if I check you over, Jess? I want to make sure everything is ok.”

The girl asked with a slight note of awe, “Are you a Jedi?”

The Mirialan flinched but then her lips curved up. Glancing at Ahsoka, she answered, “I am today.”

Ahsoka grinned and returned attention to the crowd, who were either speaking in hushed tones or openly gaping at her like she was a legend come to life. Giving herself a short nod, she murmured, “Time to be a Princess.”

Moving to the center of the space, she rotated her gaze across the group. “Well, I don’t have an eloquent speech prepared or hollow words about suffering to offer. We’ve all lost too much for such nonsense. However, I am here to help us make things right.”

There was silence, so Ahsoka continued, “I don’t know how many of you were part of the revolution that resulted in my departure. If you’ve been working underground over the last year, you’ll know this is a different fight altogether. Last time, Dooku controlled key pieces of the Shili military. That meant little resistance as you stormed the palace and took various locations. Also, my father didn’t operate a network to identify citizens who opposed him. Dooku has these advantages and more. Restraint, patience, and subtlety will be required. We must weaken him before we can get close enough to strike the fatal blow. It will not be quick or easy. Understand what you are committing to before embarking on this journey. Are there any questions I can answer to help you make such a decision?”

A young Twi’lek, hardly out of boyhood, piped up, “What about after?”

She lifted her eyebrows. “After?”

“Yeah, let’s say we manage all of what you just said and by some miracle toss Dooku out. What then? How do we know you’ll be any different? Or someone like him won’t come in and do the same thing as before?”

Scattered groans came from the group. “Not again.” “The boy is relentless.” “Shut it, kid.” “Who does this one belong to anyway?”

Ahsoka quieted them. “No, let him speak. Someone has learned his lessons well. What’s your name?”

The young man stood a little taller. “Deemoc, ma’am.”

“Tell me, Deemoc. If we are successful, what do you believe should happen?”

He glanced around nervously as if expecting someone to shut him up. “Uh, well, I studied planets like Naboo and Onderon in school and they have elected monarchs. Even planets where it’s hereditary and for life, there’s sometimes a council of elected citizens that can override the ruler. I was thinking we could do something like that. Then, everyone would have their own representative and voice kinda. Maybe there’d be less chance of this happening again that way.”

Petyr bristled. “We didn’t ask the Tunguma Tano to return and risk her life after we took everything from her, so she could be pushed aside. She spared our lives and didn’t ask for nothing in return, unlike Dooku. She deserves the throne that is hers. And I’m gonna give everything I got to make sure that happens.”

There was a rustling agreement, and Ahsoka smiled. “It’s alright, Petyr. I appreciate the faith you all have in me. It’s a valid question, though. We do need to examine options to better protect the future. How do we know those who come after us won’t make the same mistakes? Since none of us, me included, have experience setting up a new government, I’ve requested Republic support in that process. Of course, we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. Let’s focus on saving our people for now. After that, we’ll decide what’s best for Shili.” She winked at Deemoc. “I look forward to hearing more of your ideas, my young philosopher.”

The Twi’lek grinned and puffed out his chest.

Indicating Kenobi, who was still positioned by the entry doors, Ahsoka continued, “The Jedi have pledged their assistance. However, Dooku has tricked the Republic into accepting his rule for now. That means we are mostly on our own. I do not want you to enter this battle with a myth in your head. I will lead you. I will fight alongside you. I will give my life in the cause. But I am only one person. I cannot snap my fingers and make Dooku disappear, nor can the Jedi. Defeating evil requires all those with courage and principle to stand against it. This will be a long, hard road with much sacrifice. Make absolutely sure you are willing to travel it.”

Ahsoka put steel into her voice. “Lastly, I know someone in this room is working for the traitor calling himself the Emir of Shili. Deliver a message to your master. Tell him to make his peace with the Force now, because his stolen rule is at an end.” She straightened to her full height. “The Tunguma Tano has _returned._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, that was a CHAPTER. You've just witnessed Gabby's fully armed and operational Crackling Long Burn™--otherwise known as da G-CLuB. A cornucopia of ping-ponging emotions buried in text so dense, it spends 4700 words feeling the burn before tossing you some aloe. Da G-CLuB is the overlooked backbone of an arsenal of flash. Painstakingly constructed, but one flaw in its design, and you're left with floating wreckage. Because only two outcomes result from being G-CLuBbed. I've either bored you to the point of passing out or whacked you around an emotional pinball machine. Either way, you're exhausted. 👊🏼  
> \----  
> For those of you who partake, I hope your holiday was spectacular! Between the complicated festivities and a chaotic birthday celebration reminding me I'm old, my writing schedule resembles a post-Christmas morning living room. But hey, 2020 is on its way out the door! (I mean not that 2021 is likely to be a magical unicorn. Still, let's pretend together, shall we?)  
> \----  
> Seriously, Gabby? What the hell is a G-CLuB? Go to bed.


	17. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revolutions are exhausting.

“Barriss, seriously. It’s the middle of the night.” Ahsoka dug knuckles into her burning eyes. “Compiling the intel can wait until morning.” Retrieving schematics on the energy plant servicing the pro-Dooku Tradasi sector had gone off without a hitch. However, it had also sapped her little remaining energy.

Barriss apparently didn’t share the feeling. Finishing the data transfer, she started scrolling through the readout on her pad. “You can go to bed.”

“You need to rest, as well.”

“I concentrate better when it’s quiet.” Barriss brought up the Tradasi sector grid on the holotable.

The intense eyes, fixated attention, and absent replies told Ahsoka this was a losing battle. A hyper-focused Barriss was near impossible to dissuade from her goal. Too exhausted to even try tonight, she went for a temporary victory. Ahsoka sidled over and slid an arm around her waist. “There’s a flaw in your strategy.”

“Hmm?”

“The rest of the base may be asleep, but I’m not.” She rested her mouth against Barriss’s ear. “And breaking your concentration is my specialty.” Spinning the woman towards her, Ahsoka dug lips into hers.

It took a few seconds, but Barriss soon let her pad drop onto the table and wrapped arms around her. Fingers danced across Ahsoka’s shoulders and then massaged the aching tendons in her neck.

The momentary bubble of bliss fed energy into Ahsoka’s starved muscles. Tightening her hold, she soaked in the feeling. It never failed. Where and when were irrelevant. Barriss’s touch elicited a settled happiness that nothing else could replicate.

When they finally broke apart, Barriss gazed at her with a soft smile. “My strategy has advantages. I certainly don’t get kisses like that when everyone else is awake.”

She sighed and tucked a silky strand of hair under the woman’s headscarf. “If I wasn’t in danger of passing out, you’d be getting a lot more than that.”

Spreading fingers over Ahsoka’s cheeks, she delivered another tender kiss before turning back to the sector grid. “Go to bed, Princess. I expect you in top form for our command center rendezvous _tomorrow_ night.”

Ahsoka brushed lips across her temple. “It’s a date, Escort.”

One side of Barriss’s mouth curved up as she made notations on her pad.

Planting a goodnight peck on her cheek, Ahsoka forced her body into motion. She vacillated upon reaching her supply pack. She could get it in the morning, right?

An imaginary version of the woman standing behind her piped up. _‘Are you seriously considering leaving your pack in the middle of the command center floor?’_

_‘Um… maybe?’_

_‘Do you know how much traffic will be coming through that exact spot in a few hours? Besides, an emergency situation could arise. What if you need your extra blaster packs or cloak in the middle of the night?’_

_‘Barriss. It_ is _the middle of the night.’_

_‘Ahsoka.’_

_‘Oh, come on! I’m dying here.’_

_‘That’s no excuse.’_

“Not worth it, Tano,” she muttered under her breath. “Just take the damn thing.” Slinging the pack over her shoulders, she instantly regretted making the responsible decision. It had somehow magically doubled in weight. Grimacing, Ahsoka headed toward the exit. “Don’t stay up too late.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

She grinned. “That’s more like it.”

Shifting the pack digging into her throbbing muscles, Ahsoka trudged down the dank corridor of their base. Well, they called it a base. It was really a warehouse in the Shirak sector. They’d converted the underground storage level into an operations center and living quarters for critical staff. The bulk of their expanding ranks were stationed in their own homes or cells throughout the city. Yet, they’d already had to relocate twice.

The first almost immediately, due to a raid by Pryce’s people. Ahsoka had been sloppy. Too many people had known the location. She didn’t make that mistake again. Their next base had been locked down to limited personnel. Pryce had still eventually managed to identify their general radius and flooded the district with search parties, forcing another move.

Two near catastrophes in her first month as a leader had been a blow. If Ahsoka couldn’t even manage to maintain operations for more than a couple of weeks, how would she ever win this crazy undertaking?

Killing Dooku wouldn’t ensure his underlings fell in line. They needed to build momentum as well as an organized network of resistance fighters before attempting a full-fledged takeover. These modest hit-and-fade operations allowed them to achieve both. Each disruption chipped away trust in Dooku’s administration from his supporters, while reinforcing hope in the rest of the populace. Once they reached the right mix of groundswell, coordination, and resources, they could ignite the spark they’d kindled. Unfortunately, there was a long way to go. And Ahsoka was already so very tired.

She’d known leading a revolution would be fraught with challenges, both internal and external. Actually living the reality was akin to getting up each day and setting off on another potentially deadly slog through the Korvalan wilderness. If she wasn’t tiptoeing at the pace of a craag snail, Ahsoka was clawing her way out of a sandpit she’d tripped over. By the time the sun hit its peak, she was simply praying to find a safe spot to lay her head for the night before having to start it all over again the next morning.

Her people, on the other hand, seemed to be handling the journey with enthusiasm. They celebrated every successful operation, reveling in victory, no matter how small. Any setbacks were met with equanimity.

Even her niece hadn’t blinked at their hurried evacuations. She’d grabbed her pre-packed satchel, tied her favorite blanket around her shoulders, and stayed at Barriss’s side as Ahsoka issued orders. Still, it worried her. She wanted B’asia to have some semblance of stability. Would the girl be better off with her in the hub of a revolution or staying with strangers in a theoretically less volatile environment? Could she even trust someone else to protect her?

Ahsoka flinched at the emphatic no that resounded inside her head. Were her trust issues clouding her judgment? Which choice was the mistake? Granted, B’asia had made her feelings on the topic quite clear. That is to say, she threw a tantrum worthy of a princess at the mere suggestion of being housed elsewhere.

Either way, constant upheaval wasn’t ideal. Hopefully, this new base would prove more sustainable. She’d put additional security protocols into place and restricted the volume in and out. Barriss had also implemented a more even spread of operations across the city. With some luck, it would hamper enemy efforts to pinpoint a geographical pattern that might indicate their home sector.

Of course, none of this changed the fact that five weeks into building a revolution, Ahsoka had reached her exhaustion point. Yet, everyone else seemed to be coping just fine. What did that mean?

Upon finally reaching the tiny storage room they’d converted into quarters, her tumble of thoughts screeched to a halt. “B’asia? What’s wrong?”

Her niece’s face popped up from where it was buried in her knees. She grinned a little too brightly with glistening eyes. “Hi, Aunt Soka. Hope your mission went ok.”

Shedding her pack by the door, Ahsoka joined her on the bed. Like everything else, it wasn’t really a bed but two portable cots linked together to fit all three of them. “It did. I’m surprised you’re still up, though. It’s late.”

The girl shrugged. “I thought you might get back soon. I figured I’d wait a bit to see.”

Ahsoka frowned. “That happens a lot, doesn’t it? You never like to go to bed. Even when you do, you’re not asleep when I get here. Barriss says the same thing is true when she arrives before me. What’s going on?”

B’asia looked down at the blanket. “Sometimes, I’m not tired is all.”

Scooting closer, she lifted her chin. “Come on, little one. Tell me the problem. Maybe we can fix it.”

Her expression tightened. “I don’t like to sleep by myself, I guess.”

Ahsoka probed her face. “Do you have bad dreams?”

She shook her head. “It’s stupid. I’m scared if—” Her bottom lip trembled. “I went to bed the night before, you know, everything happened. And when I woke up, everybody was d-de—”

Sucking a breath, she grabbed the girl up in her arms. “I understand. That won’t happen this time, though. I’m not going anywhere.”

B’asia pressed herself into Ahsoka’s chest. “How do you know? Stuff happens every day to people.”

She exhaled. “Alright. I suppose there’s no guarantee in life. However, I can promise you I’ll do anything possible to make sure you never have to wake up that way again.” Ahsoka hesitated. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about options for us. What if we left here and settled down? Started a new life?”

The girl jerked up with a cry. “We can’t! What about Shili? We need to make it better. You don’t understand! You weren’t here. Petyr made us hide whenever soldiers came around, but I still saw things. They drag people off because they don’t have enough credits, hurt them for no reason, burn down their homes. The family next door to us just disappeared, even their baby. And what about Jess? We didn’t do anything to stop it! We have to help this time. Please, Aunt Soka, we have to.”

Ahsoka squeezed her eyes shut. The words were spoken with the unwavering conviction of a child, who still believed justice and compassion would always prevail. There was no shading, no justifications, no equivocation. There was only what was right. And when something was wrong, you made it right. That had been Princess Ahsoka’s reality. Ahsoka Tano knew better. And yet, something inside of her regretted its loss. She wanted to believe in that reality again. Opening her eyes, she said hoarsely, “Alright, we’ll keep trying. That means we could be living this life for a while. I don’t know what that will look like from one day to the next. So, you have to promise to tell me if things get bad in your head or you need to talk about stuff.”

B’asia fixed her with a gaze that looked much older than it should. “Don’t worry. I’ll be ok. It’s better now because I’m with you, and we’re helping. Princesses do what’s right, no matter what, remember?”

Ahsoka stared down at her. “Who told you that?”

The flecks of green in her hazel eyes sparkled. “My favorite ghost, silly.”

She blinked and then a soft smile curled her lips. “Sounds like quite an amazing ghost.”

B’asia giggled. “Oh, but I’m still going to stay up past my bedtime. Just so you know.”

Ahsoka laughed and rubbed the wingmark on her cheek. “That’s my little rule-breaker.”

She snuggled into Ahsoka’s side with a loud yawn. “Yep.”

_______

“That’s your idea of breakfast? Are those jerky strips sticking out of the end?”

Ahsoka shot a sideways glare at Kenobi before asking the seller, “How much?”

Squinting at her partially exposed face, the man hooked thumbs in his belt loops with a jovial expression. “No charge for the Tunguma Tano.”

Starting, she swept eyes across the market with her best confused smile. “Where?” Ahsoka spotted three patrons browsing nearby stalls that were all wrong. Their pristine knapsacks were slung across tunics much too high quality for this sector’s residents. As one of them purchased two different brands of the same spice, she twisted the tip of a lek between her thumb and ring finger. “Wait, were you talking about me?” Turning to her companion, she exclaimed, “Did you hear that, Ben?”

The Jedi grinned and slung an arm over her shoulders. “Yep. He thinks you’re a Princess, honey bun. A dead one at that. Take your weird pastry and run.”

Ahsoka slapped at him playfully. “So mean.” Returning attention to the seller, she said, “Seriously, how much?”

His brow furrowed. “You ain’t the Tunguma Tano? Thought some other keeps told me different.”

She put a hand to her mouth with a tiny squeal. “They did?! Do you think I look like her? Hear that, Ben? You should be treating me like a princess.”

He gave the seller a pained look. “See what you’ve done? How am I supposed to live with her now?” Kenobi leaned over the cart with a smarmy grin. “What about we call it even with a little deal? I’ll buy double if you tell me which ones think she’s that princess. They’ll probably give us free stuff, right?”

The seller’s face pinched. Making a subtle wave off to one of Pryce’s badly hidden operatives, he folded arms across his chest. “You blew your chance, buddy. Shoulda left me in ignorance, now shouldn’t ya?” He jabbed a finger at the gigantic pastry Ahsoka was about to tear into. “Your missus is eatin’ three dataries.”

“Three?! It’s a pastry, not beskar.”

Ahsoka whacked his arm. “Pay the man, _honey_ _bun_.” Then, she chomped down and mumbled, “Erghm… yummy.”

Grumbling to himself, Kenobi dug out the credits and slapped them on the counter. Grabbing Ahsoka’s elbow, he started dragging her away. “Let’s go before you decide to eat the rent payment.” He tossed a glare over his shoulder. “Thanks for nothing, pal.”

As they passed by Pryce’s people, Ahsoka popped a chunk of fluffy bread in his mouth. “Don’t be mad, Benny. It’s good. See?”

Chewing on it with the annoyance of a man who likes something but doesn’t want to say so, he harrumphed. “Not three dataries good.”

“No more moping. Please?”

He sent his gaze to the heavens with a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Since we’re stuck with it, give me another bite.”

Ahsoka fed him bits of pastry as they laughed their way out of the market.

_______

Kenobi glanced at the street behind them once more. Apparently seeing no one following them, he exhaled. “Well, that wasn’t good.”

Ahsoka cursed. “We’re going to have to move again! How could they have pinpointed our sector so quickly?”

“I’m not sure they did. Based on the sparsity of agents, no backup, and guesswork on your identity, it’s more likely Pryce dispersed operatives to every city marketplace on a rotating schedule. For all we know, their primary objective is pressuring sellers and patrons to encourage reporting of potential sightings. My recommendation is to verify patterns with cells in other sectors. Relocating may be premature and incur unnecessary resource drain.”

Her pulse slowed at the analysis. “Agreed. I hope you’re right because I’d definitely prefer to avoid another evac.”

“Indeed. On an up note, we now know the Uramite sewn into your headdress is effectively interfering with their facial recognition beams. Otherwise, they’d have simply pointed a hand scanner at you and our ruse never would have passed muster.”

“True. It’s working better than the cloak alone did, anyway.”

“Governor Pryce must be getting desperate to expend that many resources on the off-chance of you wandering through a market. Of course, that’s _exactly_ what you did,” he ended in a told-you-so tone.

Grinding her teeth, she ignored the jab. “Her claim that I’m an imposter to Dooku is getting tenuous. If the able Arihnda doesn’t come up with something soon, she’ll be the one with a big problem.”

Kenobi checked around the next corner before they continued walking. “I suppose the fact that using Princess Ahsoka’s biometrics isn’t producing results lends credence to her story.”

Ahsoka smiled grimly. “An excellent point. Now, I’m tempted to remove my headdress and let them get an unequivocal 360 of my face. Let her explain that to Dooku.”

“Please, tell me that was a joke.”

“Sort of, but not really.”

The man groaned. “You shouldn’t be gallivanting around in public already. Don’t make things worse.”

Pressing her lips into a tight line, she didn’t respond. Ahsoka had no intention of hiding underground but also didn’t have the energy to argue today. She was so tired. They reached their final corner and took off. Scampering over a fence and through an abandoned building, they weaved around a pre-planned maze of alleys. At thirty-six turns from where they’d started, Ahsoka ducked into a building overhang and hunkered down.

The Jedi crouched beside her and pulled out a pair of macrobinoculars. “Still clear, unless they’ve found a way to become invisible.”

“That’s probably next on their list.” Ahsoka slumped against the wall behind her. “Do you get tired, Kenobi?”

“What?”

Drawing knees to her chest, she propped a chin on them. “Running, planning, fighting, deciding… everything. Does it ever get to you?”

The man twisted around to look at her. There was a brief hesitation before he tucked the binocs into his cloak and settled beside her. “Yes.”

Ahsoka grunted. “Well, you’re damn good at hiding it.”

He sighed. “Yes.”

Running eyes over him, she saw the weariness in his posture for the first time. Was that because she now knew it was there? Or was he simply letting her see it for once? “Is pretending nothing bothers you a Jedi thing?”

Kenobi stared out into the alleyway. “Yes.”

Ahsoka had a sudden urge to laugh. “As is one-word answers, apparently. This reminds me of a conversation with Barriss.”

The corners of his mouth edged up. “Nice to know she hasn’t gotten rusty.”

“No danger there.”

“Good.” His expression turned distant. “Barriss was a superb Jedi, you know. I have no doubt she would have one day taken her place on the Council as a leader of the Order. And she would’ve done a far better job of it than we did.”

Ahsoka pursed her lips. “Have you ever told her that?”

The man rubbed his forehead. “No, but I suppose I should. Jedi and their emotions are a strange beast, Ahsoka. Understanding what you’re feeling, much less saying it can be challenging at times. And when you do try, things often come out… well, not the way you meant them too.”

“I have experienced the phenomenon,” she replied dryly. “However, as Barriss pounded into my head, mastery of any skill requires commitment, patience, and lots of practice. And, as I now throw back at her, that advice doesn’t just apply to swinging laser swords and lifting rocks.”

Kenobi chuckled. “Wisdom worthy of a Jedi.” His gaze wandered away once more. “It’s a lesson I learned too late myself.”

“In what way?”

He was silent for a moment and then took a deep breath. “Alright, practice it is. I had a Padawan for many years. He became a truly gifted Knight, destined to be perhaps the greatest the Order had ever seen.” Kenobi ran a hand through his hair. “We were like brothers, and I loved him. But I lost him before figuring out how to tell him that, or even that I should.”

“I’m sorry.” Ahsoka prodded gently as she had learned to do for Barriss. “How did he die?”

Haggard lines etched into his face. “Saving the Republic. Fixing our arrogance. He sacrificed himself to defeat Palpatine.” The pale blue eyes clouded. “So many lost. Jedi like him and Barriss were the future of the Order. Our mistakes destroyed that future.”

“Uh, his name didn’t happen to be Anakin?”

He jerked his head to her. “How did you know that? Barriss?”

“Padmé.”

His mouth parted. “She talked about Anakin with you?”

“Yes, why?”

Leaning back against the wall, he replied with a hint of sadness, “Because she never talks about him.”

Ahsoka chewed her lip. “Well, I kinda went off the rails and started asking intrusive, personal questions not long after we met. I probably pushed her into it.”

The man snorted. “No one pushes the good Senator into anything. If Padmé told you about Anakin, it was because she chose to do so. Something about you drew her out. I’m glad.”

“Glad?”

Kenobi drummed fingers on his knee. “Senator Amidala and I have known each other for many years. I’m even godfather to her and Anakin’s children. It's difficult to find a more kind, principled, and courageous person. However, while she certainly has no qualms about making her feelings known on certain topics, sharing how she feels in a deeper sense is not her forte. An effect of being a leader her entire life, I imagine.” Shooting Ahsoka a wry look, he added, “Honestly, even I’m better at it. And, as we’ve just covered, Jedi aren’t exactly renowned for their emotional expression.”

She couldn’t help a laugh. “Indeed.”

“My point is, no matter how strong, each of us needs support on occasion. It took me far too long to understand that for my own issues. The fact that she chose to open up to you about a painful topic relieves my mind a bit.”

“Ah. Except…” After a moment’s reflection, Ahsoka continued, “... for my benefit, not hers. Yes. It’s strange how experience changes your ability to see what’s in front of you. Padmé clearly suspected my true identity, and my pointed questions probably told her the rest. I think she saw what I needed and pushed through to give it to me. Based on what you just said, she likely recognized from personal experience the road I was on. Maybe she wanted to steer me away while there was still time.”

His brow furrowed. “You’re suggesting she thought talking about Anakin would help you?”

“More what it conveyed. Being royalty isn’t merely your position or purpose. From the moment you can comprehend words, who you are and what that means are instilled. Whether you’re the Emir or the youngest princess is irrelevant. Your responsibility is to carry on for your people no matter what, to be whatever kind of leader is required.” Her gaze drifted up to the jagged clouds hanging over the city. “Ahsoka, the Tunguma Tano is calm yet fierce, approachable yet apart, compassionate yet strong. She always lets them see her smile, but never lets them see her cry.” Ahsoka closed her eyes and whispered, “Because a princess doesn’t cry.”

Kenobi said quietly, “Neither does a Jedi.”

She returned attention to him with a wan smile. “Perhaps, that’s why Barriss could see through my grins. In any case, projecting the perfect princess becomes so ingrained, it’s no longer for the benefit of others. You believe that’s how you should feel inside, as well. Otherwise, you’re not in control of yourself or anything else. Like a child,” she murmured. Shaking herself, Ahsoka continued, “Padmé let me see something different—her pain, regret, and doubt. She showed me wounds that hadn’t healed. If a queen can feel those things and still be strong, why couldn’t I?”

He rubbed his chin. “Interesting.”

The full meaning of her explanation sunk in, and Ahsoka straightened. “Huh. She didn’t tell me what I could feel; she showed me what it was ok to feel. Then, she reminded me it’s what we do with those feelings that mattered. Until this moment, I never really understood why that conversation helped me. I only knew it did.”

His expression softened. “She has that effect on people.”

“Well, if I survive this revolution, I think I’ll make it my mission to return the favor.”

“Hmm, guess I’ll need to keep you alive then.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Am I to assume, if you didn’t have a weird obsession with ensuring Padmé has friends, my continued existence might be at the whim of your mood?”

He harrumphed. “It certainly might depend on whether you squander more of my credits on overpriced pastries that are in no way breakfast food.”

Ahsoka stared at the utterly innocent face gazing back at her and then burst into laughter. “Caveat noted, Master Jedi.”

“Obi-Wan will do.” Hopping up, he swept an arm toward the alley. “Shall I escort you safely home, honey bun?”

Her laughter pitched higher at the ridiculousness. Or maybe, it was the delusional tiredness she now knew someone shared. “Don’t be silly, Benny.” Scrambling to her feet, she waved the remnants of their market fiasco at him. “There’s still two whole bites of pastry left. We can’t possibly end our morning without finishing breakfast.”

“I should hope not,” he huffed. “That would be 5/16th of a datary wasted.”

“I’m sure we can handle getting our full credit’s worth, Obi-Bun.” Ahsoka popped one piece into his mouth and the other in hers.

He groaned between chews. “Never, ever say that again.”

Chest feeling lighter than twenty short minutes ago, Ahsoka smirked. “If you insist, Honey-Wan.”

There was an even louder groan as they restarted their run back to base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thatta girl. You run that revolution. Just, um, maybe also get some rest.
> 
> So, anybody like (or dislike) a particular scene/part of this chapter? Got a hot take you'd like to share? A random thought that popped into your head? I mean, if you want to tell me how your cat jumped on the keyboard and shared your screen during a work meeting and everyone saw my story and proceeded to discuss how amazing it was... well, I'm totally cool with that, honey bun. 🦄  
> \-----  
> Oh, next chapter will probably, maybe, possibly be late. I got a bit behind over the holiday, and Januarys at my job are busy-town central. I'm guessing I'll need an extra few days for editing since Ch. 18 is still very much in draft form. Hard to tell, honestly. Suppose we'll find out if I'm super Gabby or just normal Gabby this week.


	18. Back Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something...You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”  
> \--J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Ahsoka tapped fingers against her blaster rifle. The skiff wasn’t due for another seven minutes, and Petyr shouldn’t have an issue getting it through the checkpoint. Within an hour, they should be safely meeting Unduli’s ship and loading supplies. Yet, her nerves didn’t seem to be getting the message.

Barriss hummed. “There and back again.”

Glancing over, she raised eyebrows. “Care to elaborate on that cryptic statement?”

“It’s from an old Jedi proverb about one’s journey in life. Where did it take you? There and back again.”

“Yep. Sounds Jedi-ey. Incomprehensible words of wisdom designed to leave you wondering if you’re just too dense to get it. Next, you’ll be trotting out the don’t try things one.”

Her lips twitched. “We’re on Shili. Crouched behind a stack of crates. Watching a checkpoint. This doesn’t bring back any memories?”

She tensed. “I try to _not_ bring back those memories.”

Barriss’s hand shot to her cheek. “I’m sorry. I was only considering myself. Stupid of me.”

Ahsoka grimaced. “No. Don’t say that. My fault.” She flashed a quick grin. “Amazingly, the galaxy doesn’t revolve around me. Barriss Offee deigns to—gasp!—make conversation, and I careen us into trauma. I’m certain I’ve ruined what would have been a tantalizing confession about you falling for me from our first crouch behind some crates, yes?”

The woman sent her eyes skyward. When her gaze returned to Ahsoka, however, it contained a soft glow. “Well, in a way. I was thinking about this being where we started. The moment I first saw you for you.”

“Um, right. What?”

Her fingers twisted across Ahsoka’s face. “I turned around, and you were scrunched up so tightly your body was trembling. You looked at me with eyes that were sort of haunted yet hopeful, as if I were going to somehow make everything better. I wanted to tell you it would be alright. But I didn’t. Not then. Instead, I shut the emotion out and ordered you to move. Your response wasn’t to break down, snap back, or give up. You just grinned and kept going. That’s when I knew I wanted you to live. Not because you were my contract, but because you were _you._ ”

Releasing a shaky breath, Ahsoka leaned her forehead against the other woman’s. “I saw you too. Sitting there waiting, it all caught up with me. I felt so lost. Like a helpless child, who should have died with her family. Maybe surrendering to my fate would end the nightmare. Then, I raised my head. You were looking at me as if you understood. For a moment, I felt like I wasn’t alone. And it was enough.”

Barriss smiled. “Now, here we are again.” She pressed tender lips to Ahsoka’s and then locked their eyes. “It’s going to be alright.”

Her heart swelled. “It’s always alright when I have you.” As her pinging nerves finally settled, she slid arms around Barriss. “Guess bad memories can also create good ones, huh?”

“Sounds Jedi-ey to me,” she breathed and went in for another kiss.

_______

As they loaded the final crates, Unduli said, “Unfortunately, I could only obtain a limited quantity. However, I believe the specialized nature will prove useful.”

“It will,” Barriss replied. “Our current tactics against armored droids are largely ineffective. Thank you.”

“No thanks are necessary for doing what one should.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “I’m certain you put in a great deal of effort to persuade the Council to provision us additional weaponry.”

The woman clasped hands in front of her stomach. “I cannot deny it was… a challenge. However, overcoming challenges is—”

“How we grow,” Barriss finished with a slight smile. “I remember.”

Unduli gazed at her and then cleared her throat. “Well, it appears the transfer is complete.” Giving a brief nod, she turned and headed toward her ship.

Barriss remained standing in front of the skiff. Palms pressed into her thighs as she watched the woman walk away.

Ahsoka frowned. Not even a proper goodbye? Didn’t she understand the impression that created? How her apparent indifference would make Barriss feel? These Jedi weren’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but she’d thought Unduli had been at least trying to show some level of care. Then again, Luminara Unduli had never made any sense to her. Why expect the woman to behave like a normal person? She dropped her crate and moved next to Barriss. “Uh, you ok?”

Still fixed on the retreating figure, Barriss answered blankly, “She didn’t even act like…” Her former master vanished up the boarding ramp. The hydraulics hissed, and the ramp slowly rose from the ground. As it sealed shut, her posture curled inward. “What did you think was going to happen, Offee?”

Taking her hand, Ahsoka squeezed it for a lack of anything comforting to say. Barriss’s fingers trembled in hers, piquing further frustration. Why bother to come personally? Why fight the Jedi Council to get them supplies and show support? Why pretend to care if you didn’t? Was this just a mission to her? Engaging Barriss was simply a necessity to achieve some greater good? What the hell was wrong with her?

Barriss gasped. Ahsoka looked up and her rising ire plummeted.

Luminara Unduli had emerged from the ship’s front hatch. She closed it behind her and then slung a travel bag over her shoulder. The engines fired up, but the Jedi set a direct course for their position. Unduli paused outside of the landing zone to signal whoever was piloting an all-clear. As her ship’s take-off thrusters engaged, she finally reached them. “I trust you don’t mind. I took the liberty of assuming you would tolerate my continued presence.”

Mouth parting, Barriss blurted, “The Council approved your assignment? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Her eyes twinkled. “Approval is a relative term. Do they know I’m remaining here? Yes. As for my lack of communication, well, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

She blinked. “Oh.”

Unduli licked her lips. “It isn’t a bad surprise, I hope? Forcing something unexpected on others isn’t a behavior I often engage in, so I may have misjudged. If you’d rather I not stay, I’m certainly willing to call my ship and—”

“No!” Barriss winced and then took a deep breath. “We’d be honored to have your assistance.” Meeting the woman’s gaze, she added quietly, “It’s a good surprise.”

Her posture relaxed, and a note of brightness entered Unduli’s tone. “I am glad.” Then, she slid a hand into her robes and pulled out a small box with a medical caduceus emblazoned upon it. “I also brought this.”

Taking it, Barriss examined the label. Her head jerked up. “The medical notation refers to Aftershadow. Is this a treatment?”

“It is. In your last communication, you seemed… frustrated at your inability to improve the situation. Given the Temple resources at my disposal, I thought I might be able to help.”

Curling fingers around the box, she rasped, “Thank you.”

“Not at all. Researching options was a small matter. Acquiring a dose of the only known treatment proved a bit more challenging. However, as you can see, it had a satisfactory result.”

“Yes.” Barriss stared at her with a dazed expression.

“Great,” Ahsoka put in as she scrubbed sweaty hands along her cloak. “Me too. Appreciate your help also, I mean. So, yeah. Let’s head to base and get you settled.” Bowing to the woman for reasons unknown, she then swept an arm toward the skiff. “Erm, can I take your bag, Master Unduli?”

The older Mirialan switched attention to her, a hint of amusement in her face. “Thank you, but I can handle it.” She hopped into the vehicle. “Oh, and please, call me Luminara.”

Barriss’s breath hitched and then eyes that said everything looked at Ahsoka. Force, how they shined.

_______

Ahsoka nudged Petyr’s arm. “It’s going to be alright.”

The man jumped and then cringed. “Yeah, I know. Course it is.”

She smiled and fell silent as they watched Barriss measure out the dosage.

B’asia hovered beside Jessah’s wheelchair, shifting from one foot to the other. “So, this will make Jay like me?”

Her friend grinned. “Who says I want to be like you?”

She stuck out her tongue. “You know what I mean. You’ll be able to move on your own and not hurt as much. We can have fun without you getting sick.”

The girl looked down at her lap and mumbled, “Maybe.”

B’asia chewed the inside of her cheek and then grabbed Jessah’s hand. “You don’t have to be like me, though. We’ll keep doing fun things together, either way.”

Raising her head, she smiled diffidently. “Ok.”

Petyr ventured, “Uh, you said this is it, right? If this don’t work, there’s no hope—well, there ain’t nothing else out there that can help? Least, at the moment.”

Unduli nodded. “Aftershadow Syndrome is rare, due to the low survival rate of those infected with Shadow Fever, which is an uncommon malady in itself. To obtain a dose of the only known treatment required visiting a specialist on Naboo. He informed me that the sole method of recovery is to unblock the affected nerve endings. This blockage is what causes the paralysis and pain in surrounding tissue as well as the severe nausea when the brain tries to compensate. Sometimes, however, there is already too much damage to the nerve receptors. Unblocking them only works if they still function.”

“Ok, yeah, like a blighter in a hoop circuit. Plays hell with the flow. How do we tell if the contacts still got oomph?”

If Luminara had any trouble translating Petyr’s vernacular, there was no sign of it. “Within a minute of the injection, the child should be able to move her legs without pain and perhaps stand. Of course, it will take time and work to regain full mobility. I’ve provided Barriss with a recommended set of physical exercises designed to strengthen the unused muscles.”

The man rubbed hands along his pants legs. “Right. Got it.”

Jessah twisted her head to look at him. “It’s gonna be fine, Daddy. Don’t worry so much.”

He stared at his daughter for a moment and then grinned. “That’s my girl. You tell your dad what’s what.” Straightening his shoulders, he bowed to Luminara. “I forgot to say my gratitude, Master Jedi. Even if it don’t work, you caring enough to track down this stuff just to help some strangers that ain’t important and can’t never repay you is—” His voice roughened. “Well, it’s more than anyone else ever done for Jess. Thank you.”

Unduli looked surprised and shifted her gaze to Kenobi, who was standing behind Petyr. Obi-Wan put a finger on each corner of his mouth and made an upward motion. Ahsoka could have sworn Luminara threw a tiny glare back at him. Then, she returned attention to Petyr with a wide smile. Well, Ahsoka assumed that’s what the lopsided stretch of lips was meant to be. The woman was giving the thing her best shot, anyway.

“It is no trouble to help others where we can.” Luminara paused and a sudden intensity suffused her face. “The Force makes no differentiation between living beings. Your daughter’s life is just as important as mine or even the Supreme Chancellor’s.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, dunno about all that. We don’t need no fancy stuff. Can you maybe tell the Force I’d settle for Jess getting better?”

Her awkward smile relaxed into a bemused expression. “I believe you just did.”

Petyr grunted. “If it’s listening to me, that’d be a first.” He looked at Ahsoka. “Maybe you’d better say it too, just in case.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Because the Force listens to me.”

“Course it does. You’re a Princess, ain’t ya? You can fight with one of those Jedi laser swords and move things around just by waving your hand and such. Plus, you got a Jedi to shack up with you. A supes smart, uber deadly, whistling fine one at that. Gotta count for something.”

Barriss’s head popped up from her task. Squinting at Petyr, she clipped, “Your Princess is actually shacked up with me. Get it right.”

B’asia’s tiny eyebrows squished together. “What’s shacked up?”

Ahsoka laughed. “Nevermind, little one. I can see we need to appease nervous dad before things get out of hand.”

“Too late,” Kenobi remarked drolly.

“Show some respect, Honey-Wan. We’re about to commune with the Force.”

“My deepest apologies. By all means, commune.”

Ahsoka hummed and raised her arms toward the ceiling. “Oh glorious Force all around us, we beseech thee to hear our humble plea! The extra grenades can wait. We will settle for Jess getting better. Though, I wouldn’t object to a rocket launcher. That is all.” Then, she made nonsense finger motions over her chest. “Bless the Holy Force.”

Petyr gave a solemn nod. “Good. Now, we’re ready.”

Luminara stared at Obi-wan. He shrugged. “Welcome to the Revolution.”

Ahsoka snorted. “This is what happens when you make us stand around for too long.” She winked at the girls. “Tell the illustrious Lady Offee to get on with it.”

They both giggled, and B’asia declared, “Aunt Soka says you should get on with it.”

Barriss sniffed. “Aunt Soka says a lot of things. I find not listening to be the best course.” There were more giggles and one outraged cry in response. The Mirialan smirked and then crouched in front of Jess. “Alright, my little Jedi. Ready?”

She looked down and curled fingers around the arms of her chair. “Y-yeah. I mean yes, ma’am.”

Barriss lifted her chin. “Sure? You’re the boss. You get to decide.”

The girl gazed at her and then sat up straighter. “I’m ready.”

Everyone held their breath as Barriss injected the treatment. Putting the syringe to the side, she rubbed the puncture mark in a gentle rhythm. “Stay relaxed. Almost there.” Only the whir of a ventilation system sounded as they waited. Finally, Barriss rose and stepped back. “What do you feel?”

Jess scrunched her face. “My legs are kinda tingly.”

“That’s good.” Barriss waved Petyr and Ahsoka over. “Your father is going to stand in front. Ahsoka will stand on this side of you. I’ll be on the other. We won’t let you fall. Try pushing yourself up however works best.”

Struggling out of her wheelchair, the child started pitching sideways. The women caught her arms and held her steady. Braced between them, Jessah slid a foot a few inches forward and then back. “I can feel the floor. That’s good too, yeah?”

B’asia bounced on her toes. “Course, it is.” She looked at Barriss. “Right?”

“It is indeed.” Barriss watched the girl’s legs. Once they stopped shaking, she said, “That’s it. Your muscles are adjusting to the strain. We’re going to let go and see if you can stand on your own, ok?”

“You’re not going anywhere, though?”

Barriss squeezed her arm. “We’ll be right here the whole time. Use the Force inside you. It’s there.”

The girl brightened. “I remember. I can do it.” They carefully released their hold, and Jess stuck out her arms to balance herself. When she reached equilibrium, her face lit up with a grin. “Look, look! I’m doing it by myself! And it doesn’t hurt!”

Petyr sucked a breath, tears glistening in his hawkish eyes. “You’re doing great, baby girl.”

“Yes, well done,” Barriss said. “Do you want to try to walk toward your father now?”

Jess bit her lip. “What if I fall?”

Petyr held out his arms. “I won’t let that happen. Just give it a try. No big deal if it don’t work yet.”

She lifted a shaky leg a few inches but then put it back down. “Not sure I can, Daddy.”

“You can,” Petyr encouraged. “I know you can. Even if you fall, it don’t matter. We keep getting back up. Cause one day, we’ll run.” Stretching his arms further, he smiled. “Everything starts with one step. All you gotta do is take it.”

Her expression filled with determination. “Ok. One…” She planted her leg forward. “... step.” The other one just managed to catch up to it before she toppled into her father’s arms.

Petyr crushed her against his chest with a ragged breath. “That’s my brave girl. I knew you could do it.”

She grinned up at him. “Told you not to worry. I’m learning how to be like a Jedi, you know. They don’t give up when bad stuff happens to them. Jedi keep believing they can do things, no matter what.”

Barriss inhaled sharply and looked at the floor, crushing palms into her thighs.

Reaching over, Ahsoka pried one of her hands away and intertwined their fingers. “Damn right.”

Lifting her head, Barriss met her gaze. Then, she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I'm Super Gabby after all! Let's see if I can keep it up, ha.  
> So... did you, um, like it? 😬


	19. Just a Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got a... well, some kinda feeling about this.

Ahsoka called up a new set of schematics on the holodisplay. “Ok, let’s discuss the Emira operation next. I want the mission prepped for a rapid execution. Striking while Dooku’s off-world is our ideal scenario. There’ll be a reduction in sector security patrols and a slower response to any interruption in palace communications. I also doubt Pryce will be paying close attention to Emira if Dooku isn’t here.”

Luminara asked, “Do we have intel on his movements?”

“Limited,” Barriss answered. “Dooku’s proven difficult to track. However, we know he has to attend at least one day of the Expansion Region’s Economic Summit. Sovereign attendance is mandatory for a planet to maintain good trade standing in the region. That gives us an upcoming departure window to watch since the summit starts next week and runs for five days.”

“Exactly why I want to be ready on short notice,” Ahsoka said. “We may not get another opportunity to predict his movements in the near future. I was thinking the Tradasi cell would best supplement our raiding party. They were effective during the energy plant mission, are familiar with the area, and can be quickly mobilized.”

Before anyone could respond, Deemoc burst into the command center. Bending over and huffing breaths, he stuck a pad in the air. “Sorry… interrupt. Sil wanted… priority… to Lady Offee.”

Barriss plucked the intel from his hand and started tabbing through it.

Annoyed at herself for being annoyed at the interruption, Ahsoka gave him a bright smile. “Thank you, Deemoc. I wish everyone were as conscientious in completing their assignments.”

Shooting to attention, he thrust out his chest. “No thanks required, ma’am. All in a day’s work when you’re changing the world.”

She laughed. “Indeed.” Ahsoka glanced at Barriss. “Do you need to send a response?” The woman shook her head, so she returned attention to Deemoc. “Alright, my young revolutionary, be careful on your way back. No call to rush now that you’ve completed your assignment. It might draw attention.”

The Twi’lek nodded. “I know. Leaving the office perimeter was a little tricky actually because there are increased patrols around the government complex today. No idea why. Anyway, I had to improvise. I acted like I was a junior aide taking a walk while scarfing down his lunch. Nobody questioned me, but it still took forever.”

“Clever. You never fail to impress me, Deemoc.”

His posture straightened further, purple skin darkening. “Erm, thank you, Tunguma Tano.”

“No thanks required for recognizing someone who’s changing the world, one scarfed down lunch at a time.”

A cheeky grin crept up. “Indeed.”

She winked. “Oh, please inform Sildon I very much appreciate the timely information. And don’t forget to throw in how dazzled I was by your brilliance.”

His grin widened. “Yes, ma’am.” Giving her a jaunty salute, he took off out the door.

Ahsoka smiled to herself and then turned back to the group. “Well?”

Barriss grimaced. “You’re not going to be happy. Our destruction of the energy substations feeding Factory Row ground their operations to a halt for three days. Two critical corporate moguls threatened to move their operations off Shili. That would have eliminated Shili’s parsec-wide export monopoly on hydraulics, a major blow to Dooku’s expanding economic power. To mollify them, Pryce diverted security from various residential zones to shore up installations servicing the industrial complex. On the positive side, reduced forces in those civilian areas will open up recruiting and supply lines. The people living there should also enjoy more freedom in their everyday lives.”

Tapping her foot, Ahsoka said, “Get to the bad news, Barriss.”

The woman sighed. “It generally impedes our current operational focus, of course. More specifically, her measures included the Emira sector’s communication facility. She’s assigned a full platoon and doubled up guard rotations. A hit and run raid is no longer a viable option.”

She ground her teeth. “You’re right. I’m not happy.” Taking down this mega-array was their most ambitious objective to date. Doing so would force communications in the center of the city, including palace communications, to be re-routed through more vulnerable substations. Tapping into enemy communications would be easier. And their new weather-emulating jammer would allow them to temporarily disable them as needed without raising alarm.

To Ahsoka, though, it represented their first tangible step toward victory. When the time came to isolate Dooku, that array couldn’t be online. They’d have eight weeks to pull the remaining pieces together, while the enemy constructed a replacement. Completing this operation put them on a ticking clock with an end in sight. And she was damn well going to get them there. Squaring her shoulders, Ahsoka said, “Alright, it is what it is. That doesn’t change our objective. Ideas on how we make it happen?”

“Having Luminara opens up options,” Obi-Wan offered. “What if she and I serve as a distraction, while Ahsoka’s team infiltrates behind us? We’ll take a slow but direct line for the array. They’ll likely redistribute a majority of their forces along our route.” He indicated a corridor on the schematics. “Once we pass the third junction, your team should have a clear path to this access tunnel. We’ll eventually escape through the eastern exit. Both teams must sync their egress, though. After you burn out the array, you’re going to attract attention. If we’re already gone or vice versa, getting out may prove difficult for the stragglers. We can run simulations on the timing to coordinate our progression.”

“Hmm…” Barriss drummed fingernails on her thigh. “A good plan, except it’s dependent on the second team remaining undetected. If Ahsoka hits any resistance, they might raise an alarm that would reveal our true intentions. Perhaps, I can…” Her eyes darted over the map. “Yes. Their broadcast center is located on the rear corner. If I set-up the mobile jammer on the outside-facing wall, I can prevent incoming alerts from being relayed to the rest of their forces. It will also block any call for external reinforcements. I’ll have to continually adjust the frequency as they try to compensate, but I believe it’s doable.”

Unduli pursed her lips. “This facility is also populated with civilian workers. Are we not making an effort to minimize casualties?”

Kenobi stiffened. “Are you suggesting we can’t trap, neutralize, and distract without inflicting collateral damage?”

She gave him an odd look. “Of course not. I was referring to the sabotage. Destroying the array without causing a cascading explosion requires extensive knowledge of electronics. If we’re serving as a distraction, and Barriss is handling the jammer, we’ll need someone else that possesses the technical skillset needed.”

Petyr rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, that’d be me.”

Unduli raised her eyebrows. “You can create an internal systems burnout of a Type 5 Jetta Array with multiple redundancies while employing no external destruction of the device itself?”

He grinned. “Can’t you?”

The corners of her lips quirked. “My apologies. It appears I’ve underestimated the level of expertise at our disposal.”

Petyr chuckled. “Not really. There are maybe two of us who might could pull it off. And I ain’t never tackled the Type 5. But I’ve repaired loads of 4’s and studied up on the schematics. I’m supes positive I can do it pretty quick-like. Well, ‘suming it ain’t been heavily modified. If it has, doubt even you Jedi could pull that jackrubber out your robes.”

Luminara blinked and then what looked like amusement flitted across her face. “Agreed. No jackrubbers here. In that case, I concur with Obi-Wan. As long as the entire platoon doesn’t show up at once or significant reinforcements don’t arrive, we should be able to maintain our diversion for an extended period. A benefit to this layout is that it requires the enemy to stagger their forces.” She paused. “Also, I suspect Ahsoka’s team may gain an additional advantage.”

“Such as?” Ahsoka asked.

The Jedi smoothed one of her sleeves. “Oh, I can’t say.”

She frowned. “Then, how do you know we’ll have one?”

“It’s simply a feeling. I imagine we’ll find out whether I’m right soon enough.”

Ahsoka glanced at Barriss to see if she was missing something, but only got a responding shrug. “Riiiiiight. Am I supposed to understand what you’re talking about?”

Something suspiciously close to a smirk flashed. “I don’t know, Princess. Are you? Perhaps, you should… meditate on the question.”

She groaned. “Now, I know where Barriss learned to be infuriating. Do you Jedi practice vague responses, specifically designed to make the asker feel like it’s their own fault they don’t know the answer?”

Luminara replied with a grave expression, “Yes.”

Everyone stared at her and then broke into laughter.

_______

Ahsoka surfaced from her meditation, gaze falling on the crates Unduli had brought. The entirety was slated for distribution to the western sectors. Due to their sparse population and remote spread, Pryce maintained order through patrolling battle droids. This Clone Wars surplus was designed to combat exactly that type of enemy. So, rather than crowd the base’s meager weapon’s storage, they’d dumped them here for a few days. Ahsoka had regretted the decision ever since.

This conglomeration of crates had been driving her crazy for unknown reasons. Now, she was certain. It wasn’t a byproduct of stress and sleep-deprivation. There was more here than a pile of weaponry. Something amid the droid poppers and blaster packs was calling to her. Yes, to her. She could feel it.

“Quaderghm…”

Pulled from her reverie at the mumbled words, Ahsoka twisted around. Her meditation must have been deeper than she’d realized. Barriss and B’asia had gone to bed without her awareness. Rising from the floor, she gazed at the picture of perfection.

Barriss was sprawled on her back, one arm snugged around B’asia. Relaxed contentment had replaced the intensity. It was a state Ahsoka only glimpsed while the woman slept. Even then, her body usually retained its closed posture. Not this time. Her niece was burrowed into Barriss’s side, a faint smile adorning her sleeping face. If Ahsoka had occasion to dwell on her ideal life, this would be the centerpiece.

As she soaked in the warmth of the moment, the subtle draw on her senses returned. It was still calling. Dragging herself away, Ahsoka walked to the far corner and began searching for whatever she was meant to find.

Her agitation increased with each new crate that revealed nothing. “Come on, dammit.” Finishing her rummage through the final container, she ground her teeth. None of it seemed out of the ordinary. This was ridiculous. Having a weird feeling didn’t warrant squandering her few precious hours of sleep.

She glanced back at the tempting sight of Barriss and B’asia. Ahsoka wanted to chuck this irrational quest and curl up beside them. She could drift off to happy oblivion, pretending the moment would last forever.

Her jaw clenched. And why couldn’t it? Didn’t she deserve to have a home, a family, a life? She’d damn well earned it.

But no. Here she was, fighting for people who’d destroyed the person she once was. Fixing the blindness of others. Sacrificing to make right what she hadn’t made wrong. And now the Force, or whatever cosmic power demanded Ahsoka give everything, had her searching for nothing.

A ball of fire ignited in the center of her chest. The more she thought about the injustice of it all, the more it burned. The air around her shimmered, and a dark haze obscured her vision. Specters of the past emerged from the murky air unbidden. “No, no, no… too deep.” She tried to pull back, to center. But it was too late.

Everywhere she turned, a terrible image awaited her. Her uncle’s house billowing flames. Her sister’s dead eyes pleading with her. Her brother’s handsome features ravaged by bruises of death. Her mother’s warm smile turned cold.

“Don’t. Control it!” But she couldn’t. Ahsoka held hands to her head. “Please,” she begged. “Please, stop.” It didn’t. It would never stop.

Then, came her father—oh, her father—strapped to a palace gate. His face forever frozen in an expression of dazed shock. Still unable to process the reality confronting him, even as the life was ripped from his body.

Would that be her fate? Losing everything while she wasn’t looking? Leading those who trusted her into ruin? Betrayed by those same people? Wasn’t that how reality worked? “It doesn’t matter,” she told herself. “You still have to try. Ahsoka Tano does what’s right.”

“What nobility and self-sacrifice.” Arihnda Pryce’s cackle filled the air. “How have you made it this far with such childish beliefs intact? Oh, what it must be like to be you. So lost. A victim of the whims of fate.”

The room spun, and Ahsoka was lying in the medical alcove of Barriss’s ship. She curled up and sucked breaths like air might soon cease to exist. Everything hurt. How long would the universe make her wait? What more could it force her to suffer before snuffing out the shell of what remained? She had nothing left to give.

“Get out!” Ahsoka managed to rip herself out of the memory and resurfaced in their quarters. Her chest throbbed from the effort, a taste of bitter anger on her lips. It wasn’t fair. She hadn’t given up. Done the right thing at every turn. Fought so hard to make a new life. And she could lose it all. Again. “That’s not true. I control my own life this time, remember?”

A mirthless laugh jarred her montrals. “Except you don’t, do you?” A warped version of herself materialized across from her. The dark figure was gaunt, features sharp and harsh amid the hazy lighting. Cold, yellow eyes mocked her. “You’re a slave to your own childish morality—a sheep in a world of wolves. Destined to be a helpless victim forever.”

“No! You’re wrong.”

“Am I? Do you want to see what awaits you?” Her dark twin sneered and raised a sallow finger toward the other side of the room.

As she followed its direction, her stomach knotted.

Barriss stood by the door, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I can’t handle it.” Backing away, she rasped, “Goodbye, Ahsoka.”

“Wait! Barriss, please. Don’t leave me!”

But the woman she loved simply turned and ran, vanishing into nothingness.

Her surroundings flickered, and Ahsoka heard a plaintive call, “Aunt Soka…” Swinging around, she rooted to the floor.

B’asia cowered against a crate, wide eyes frozen on the muzzle of a blaster. Arihnda Pryce gave Ahsoka an evil grin and then pulled the trigger.

“NO!” Ahsoka ran toward her niece but stumbled and smacked the ground. She gasped as pain pierced her body. Dragging herself up on a wall, she scanned frantically. B’asia was already gone. “No… please, no.”

Renking tutted from the corner. “That was unfortunate.” He moved in front of her with a polite smile, hand sliding down to fondle her breast. “Well, Princess?” Slimy breath crept along her neck. “Do you intend to accept reality?” Ahsoka’s muscles seized up, paralyzed in her nightmare. When had she become a victim in her own life?

Her dark twin’s lip twisted. “How dare you let him touch you again? Everyone takes everything from you. And all you do is _watch._ ”

An Ahsoka far more powerful than the helpless girl from her memories screamed in rage. Heat radiated outward, flooding her body with raw energy. Unlike the pathetic child she once was, Ahsoka didn’t hold it back. She let the anger flow without restraint. She refused to be a victim ever again.

Her fingers snapped into a fist. Renking’s fish eyes bulged, hands clawing at his throat. She snarled, “Now, you’re in my reality.”

Power pulsed through her veins. His life was hers to control. She let him hang there, throttling the air from his lungs. He was nothing, an ant to be crushed under her boot. She reveled in each strangled breath, each useless thrash, each desperate whine. “Too bad you can’t stay.” Ahsoka squeezed her fist until hearing the sweet crunch of bones and then tossed his carcass to the floor.

She laughed at the incredible sense of release. No more pretending. The perfect princess was dead. Ahsoka had suffered enough. She deserved to have what others had stolen from her. Childish notions of the world wouldn’t take it from her again. She’d be the one taking this time.

A soft gasp jerked her out of the moment of triumph. Ahsoka growled at the interruption and turned, only to blanch at what she found.

A still-living B’asia stared at Renking’s body and then raised her head. The adoring shine had vanished from her eyes. Now, there was only fear.

She knelt in front of her niece. “He brought it on himself. He was a bad man. I had to make sure he didn’t hurt more people.”

The girl edged away from her. “Is that why you did it?”

Ahsoka’s ribs tightened. “Of course. I won’t let anyone hurt us ever again.”

“I don’t want you to protect me if it makes you… like this.”

Jaw hardening, she ground out, “Well, you don’t get a choice in the matter.”

B’asia gazed at her. “That’s not true. I always have a choice. A Princess chooses to do what’s right, no matter what. Remember?”

Ahsoka hissed. “That’s childish nonsense. It only makes you a victim. You’ll learn.”

Her niece frowned. “How can I be a victim if it’s my own choice?” She hesitated before stepping closer. Wrapping small arms around her, she whispered, “Aunt Soka, please. I want you to be you.”

She stiffened. “This is me.”

The girl looked up at her sadly. “That’s not what you would say.” B’asia pointed over Ahsoka’s shoulder. “Not what she would say.”

Twisting around, she flinched.

Princess Ahsoka, battered and bleeding in a red-splattered dress, fixed defiant eyes on her. “You remember the pain but not its lessons. Even when I had nothing left to lose, there was one thing they couldn’t take. Don’t you dare let them get it now.”

Her lungs choked at the accusation. Smashing palms into the floor, she muttered, “What are you doing?” This path wasn’t control. It was destruction. Only one person could take who Ahsoka Tano was. And she almost had.

Steadying the erratic breaths, she worked to center her thoughts. Clarity emerged from the haze. Princess, victim, mercenary, lover, aunt, leader, fighter, child—Ahsoka was all of it and none of it. She simply was who she was. And that person didn’t let the past control her, didn’t give up or give in, didn’t take at others’ expense. She wasn’t like everyone else.

A chilling version of her own voice cut the air. “Don’t be a fool. That pathetic weakling lived in a dream world. We know better. The wolf is vigilant, merciless, and cunning. Your arbitrary rules and useless scruples only make him stronger. He cares not about compassion and justice. He merely awaits his chance to strike, knowing the sheep will blindly follow the lush grass into his waiting maw. His moment always comes. He is inevitable. To stop him, you must also become inevitable.”

Lifting her head, she smiled at her dark twin. “You are the fool. Meeting power with power leads nowhere. A wolf may destroy another wolf, but you are still left with a wolf.”

Yellow eyes raged at her. “Better wolf than sheep.”

“It’s a false choice. Our goal isn’t to kill the wolf. It’s to protect the sheep. And only one thing can do that.” Rising, she straightened to her full height and met the hate-filled gaze that would never be hers. “Ahsoka Tano is a _shepherd._ ”

The mirages around her shattered in a blinding wave of light. Surety spread like daybreak over the dunes, shining warmth across every inch of her being. This. This was Ahsoka Tano’s path. She basked in the perfection of the feeling.

The light faded, and their quarters snapped back into focus. She blinked several times. “Um, ok.” Ahsoka hadn’t moved. She was still standing over the last container she’d searched. What just happened? Had any of it been real? After a few seconds, she shrugged. “Does it matter? You’re either crazy or you’re not.”

Returning to the first crate, she gripped the latches and murmured, “Time to be you.” Opening the lid, Ahsoka Tano started back at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have many things I'd love to share about this chapter, but we'll save them for comment replies/questions. :) Because today, my friends, is a momentous occasion. I'm throwing myself a party to commemorate, and you're all invited. But what are we celebrating, Gabby? Glad you asked!
> 
> On a fateful day in 2017, Gabby opened up google docs, thought for a second, and wrote six words, "Ahsoka Tano couldn’t take it anymore." There. The first step in her impulsive decision made ten minutes ago, done. You see, she was going to write a fanfic. Nothing earth-shattering. Just for fun. Just to see if she could. Not that she knew how. "Write what you want to read," she told herself. "Even if you never show it to anyone, you'll still enjoy it." And with these repeated pep talks, she chugged along on her little story. Then, one day, she reached her goal. Story complete. Posted. Done. But did this girl of questionable sanity sit back on her laurels in satisfaction? Perish the thought! She couldn't stop now. And so, she didn't. Each new story brought an extra notch of confidence, steady improvement, amazing readers, and somehow more obsession.
> 
> Then, came this moment. A moment that can never come again. Today, on January Seventeenth in the year Two-Thousand and Twenty-One, Gabby posted her 1,000,000th word. One _million_ words, filled with pieces of her heart, splattered across the internet for all to see. Do others have more? Certainly. Did that insecure but eager girl in 2017 ever imagine she'd write thousands of pages? Hell no. And that feeling is worth more than a cave full of kyber crystals. (Ok, ok, maybe not an entire cave but at least half--well, a quarter of one.)
> 
> Whether you're a new or OG reader, this is also a celebration of you. If not for encouraging and supportive readers, my writing folder would be a million blank spaces. Thank you for joining me on the journey. ✍🏼


	20. Belief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't believe it."  
> "That is why you fail."

After three extensive yet fruitless circuits through the mound of crates, Ahsoka sagged to the floor. The feeling hadn’t dissipated at her lack of success. Whatever she was supposed to find was still there.

Pulling knees to her chest, Ahsoka tucked her face into them. Why couldn’t she do this? Maybe the Force had decided she wasn’t worthy of whatever prize was hidden. Or this whole wild bantha chase was her sleep-deprived mind’s idea of a joke. No, she was missing something.

Shifting into a cross-legged pose, she closed her eyes and centered her thoughts. Something was distorting her path, curving what should be straight. She focused on pinpointing the cause. One barrier led to another. Ahsoka sifted them and examined the chaff.

Frustration. She sat in silent reflection, letting her senses take in anything they wanted. The swirl of sensations sucked the hindrance into its emotional wash, making it no more and no less than the others.

Tension. She relaxed her clenched jaw, a knotted shoulder, the crick in her back, and onward. Until every muscle settled into passivity.

Yet, there was still a nagging presence. Ahsoka strained to her limits, but the feeling remained fuzzy where it should be sharp. Frustration crept back in, and her concentration wavered. What was she doing wrong? Maybe she simply wasn’t capable of seeing it.

Oh. And there it was. Each step forward was a tiptoe not a stride due to a block of her own making. Doubt.

She searched for an answer. What was the question? How do you achieve something you’ve never done? No. How do you believe you can achieve it?

Her mother’s voice rose from the ashes of her memories. _‘You only need to harness what’s already there. Now, stop pouting and try again.’_

Ahsoka smiled. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.” There was only one question that mattered. And it was also the answer. Do it or don’t.

Her eyes snapped open and locked on a crate of EMPs. “Time to do, Tano.” Dragging it over, she plopped down and removed the lid. Neatly stacked rows of innocent-looking poppers stared back at her, refusing to reveal their secrets.

The call pulsed in faster waves. She reached out with the Force to follow it. EMPs floated into the air. They hung there, a mass of gleaming orbs surrounding her as Ahsoka stared at the bottom of an empty crate. There was more here than she could see. “Look deeper,” she murmured.

She focused all of her senses on the current tugging at her. The elements of life intertwined as Ahsoka melded into her environment. She could hear a low buzz from the lighting, smell rusted metal and sweat, taste musty air on her tongue, and feel the subtle waft of displacement from the hovering poppers. But what could she see?

There. Her gaze shifted to the left side of the crate, and Ahsoka gasped. A small compartment she’d never noticed was embedded in the rear corner. Holding her breath, she flicked her fingers at it. A panel popped open.

Hopping onto her knees, Ahsoka wet her lips. She reached toward the compartment, hesitated at the opening, and then plunged her hand inside the unknown. Feeling a square object, she lifted a silver case from its home. “Yes!” Her floating circle of EMPs crashed to the floor, skittering in all directions.

Barriss shot up in bed and scanned the room, arm tightening around B’asia. “W-what’s wrong?” Evidently realizing the answer was nothing, she gave Ahsoka a look roughly equivalent to a barrage of blaster bolts. “Ssh!”

“Are you seriously worried about waking sleeping beauty? Getting the child to go to bed may be near impossible, but once she does it’s over. A bomb could hit this place and she wouldn’t notice.”

As if to prove the point, her niece let out a tiny snore. Barriss glanced down and then back to Ahsoka, a grin playing along her lips. “Fair. Though, _I’d_ appreciate still being asleep.”

She grimaced. “Ok, sorry. I got a smidge overexcited. I’ve been on the hunt for something and finally hit paydirt.”

“Hmph, we’ll discuss how you will make amends for your transgression later. What is this elusive discovery?”

“No idea. Ever since the planning session with your annoyingly cryptic Master yesterday, I’ve had this weird feeling. Or maybe… Yeah, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure it started while we were unloading these crates the night before. It felt as if I was missing something, something that wanted me to find it. Sort of like it was calling to me. That’s why I decided to meditate earlier. I’m sure this isn’t making any sense.”

Barriss blinked. “Actually, it does. Huh.” Her brow wrinkled. “Here?” She leveled an intent gaze on Ahsoka. “You found what was calling to you? Where?”

She brandished the box. “Think so. Stashed in one of these crates. I had to—well, it was a whole thing. I had this really messed up—like one of my nightmares except worse and more real. I think it might have been a vision from the Force? The experience was…” She shuddered. “... not fun. After that, it still took me forever to find this case in a hidden compartment. I kinda revealed it with the Force.”

The woman sat up straighter. “Open it.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.” She released the double latches and flipped the lid. “Um, ok then.” Ahsoka plucked the translucent stone from its cloth padding. She twitched as a tingling sensation traveled up her arm. “Woah.”

“What is it?” Barriss asked sharply.

Pinching the gem between her thumb and forefinger, she held it up. “This.”

Her face went slack. “Not… possible. How? Accident. In a Force-locked compartment? No. Crate from the war. Someone else put it there? Why? No. It must have been her. I don’t understand.”

Ahsoka stared at her hypnotic find. “Hmm?”

“There’s no way the Council would have approved it. They’re fanatical about keeping lightsabers within members of the Order. I half-expected them to demand mine, even though I constructed it after I left. The crystal called to _me._ It’s mine by the will of the Force. Not that the Jedi would agree. They believe the Force itself belongs to them. Arrogance.”

Dragging attention away from her treasure, she asked, “But what is—”

“She created her own test,” Barriss muttered, paying her no heed. “The ability to see beyond what’s there, patience to discover it, and acceptance of self. Did she know it would present a vision? Must have. Facing your fear is the critical piece, right? Only a balanced essence would be able to form a connection to the crystal. Wait. How did she choose? Guided by the Force? Or in the absence of others can a crystal bond with any user? Are they all blank slates until possessed? So, the gathering isn’t about a specific one? But if that’s true why…”

Exhaling, Ahsoka stopped listening and decided to wait for the woman to work through whatever she was, well, working through. Instead, she examined her find more closely. Light sparkled off perfect edges. “You are damn beautiful, whatever you are.” She could have sworn it glinted back at her. That was when Barriss’s half-processed rant penetrated. Didn’t she say something about a crystal that called to her? Yes, a crystal and… lightsabers. Ahsoka’s heart fluttered. “Uh, Barriss?”

“... no other explanation. My Master broke the rules. And not a small one, either. I’ve entered an alternate universe.”

“Barriss! Pay attention to me!”

The woman jolted, eyes swerving to Ahsoka. “Oh.”

“Is this—this—what is it?”

A soft smile blossomed. “That, Ahsoka Tano, is a kyber crystal. Kybers are rare and powerful living stones attuned to the Force. Each one is unique and can form an equally unique bond with its possessor. They are revered by Jedi, who use them as the heart of their most prized possession. But you already know what that possession is, don’t you?”

Ahsoka gazed at her crystal and then curled fingers around it. As tingling warmth flowed through her, she breathed, “A lightsaber.”

_______

Ahsoka opened her eyes as the completed saber floated into her hands. “I… did it.”

Barriss hummed and straightened from her lean against the supply room wall. Then, she picked her way through discarded parts, scattered tools, and a still red-hot welding torch.

Ahsoka wasn’t sure how long they’d been at this. The sun had probably already risen, but she’d refused to wait and dragged Barriss from her bed. While unforthcoming on the specifics of assembly, the Mirialan had at least whittled down her huge pile of gathered parts.

Barriss held out a hand. Swallowing, she passed her creation up to the woman. The edges of Barriss’s mouth twitched as she examined what even Ahsoka had to admit was the definition of improvised. “Unique.”

“Hey, I was working with limited supplies here. Artistic flair wasn’t a top priority.” She drummed nails along the floor as intense blue eyes roved over every inch of the construction. “I mean it’ll still get the job done, right?”

Nimble fingers ran along the hilt, twisting the body and pommel. After sliding off the cover to check the crystal, a slight smile curled Barriss’s lips. She snapped everything back into place and dropped the weapon into Ahsoka’s hands. “Only one way to find out.”

Heart pounding, Ahsoka scrambled to her feet. Stepping to the middle of the supply room, she rolled the weapon in her palm. It felt good. Hefty. Well-balanced. Granted, the slippery grip needed some sort of resistance added to it. The mangled pommel ring screamed it was a handle from a supply crate that had been welded into submission. The switches she had commandeered from multiple blasters were different shades of black. And her strips of bronze and silver metal crisscrossing the hilt approached an aesthetic very close to random. Ahsoka didn’t care. This lightsaber was _perfect._

Taking a steadying breath, she wrapped fingers around the grip and then hit the activation switch.

A bright green blade hissed to life. And it was… glorious. She flicked and weaved the shining blade, reveling in each distinct yet equally pleasing hum.

Surety rose in Ahsoka’s soul. This saber had been waiting for her and she for it. Together, they were complete. Her voice choked as she whispered, “So beautiful.”

Barriss smiled. “Well, someone has changed their tune about neon green.”

Ahsoka continued staring at the embodiment of her childhood dream, now gripped in her hand. This lightsaber was _hers._ Pure joy spread from heart to face. “It’s grown on me.”

_______

Ahsoka peered out of the access hatch. She spotted two Togruta techs dressed in civilian uniforms at the main controls. However, there were no guards in sight. Either they were positioned outside the door or had been called away to defend against the Jedi assault. Given the inept response from the little resistance her team had met, she’d be willing to believe there simply weren’t any assigned to the array control room.

She signaled her people to hold and slithered out of the hatch. Creeping up behind the techs, Ahsoka held her saber at the ready but didn’t light it. “Hello there.”

They spun around and then two sets of hands shot into the air. The male Togruta cried, “P-please, don’t kill us! You can blow the entire thing to bits if you want. We don’t care.”

Ahsoka cocked her head. “Then, why are you here?”

“We couldn’t pay our taxes. Since we’re electronics specialists, they said we could work off the debt.”

“It was either this or a prison camp,” the female tech added. “We decided slave labor and starvation was less preferable.”

“I see.” Ahsoka motioned toward the front corner of the room. “Over there. Don’t interfere and you might live long enough to return to your voluntary slave labor by dinnertime.”

The woman’s face pinched, but she followed her colleague, who’d already raced to the designated corner.

Ahsoka rapped knuckles on the wall. “Clear.” Her team started emerging from the access tunnel.

Petyr stood beside her as the rest of them fanned out in a defensive perimeter. Then, he spotted the techs. “Jiyal? Igan?”

Igan’s jaw dropped. “Petyr?”

“Well, ain’t that something. Everyone thought you two were goners when you just up and vanished. Glad to be wrong. Not so glad you turned traitor, though.”

The woman called Jiyal stiffened. “You’re one to talk. Still convincing people to die for nothing, I see. Didn’t you learn your lesson last time?”

Petyr winced. “Yeah. I did. That’s the point.” Waving his blaster toward Ahsoka, he said, “This is the Tunguma Tano. She’s gonna make things right.”

Both techs gaped at her, and Jiyal blurted, “You actually came back? After what we—wait. You’re with Petyr? Don’t you know what he did?”

Ahsoka looked at the man in question. “Yes, on all counts.”

Petyr gazed at her and then rasped, “More than I deserve.”

She put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Time is short. Let’s put this array out of commission.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Striding to the main control deck, he began removing panels.

Igan piped up, “Are you really the Tunguma Tano?”

Straightening into a regal bearing, she turned to face the techs. “Yes. I am.”

Jiyal’s eyes narrowed. “Why did you come back?”

“Because you asked.” She assessed them for a moment. “I’m here to help anyone who wants to be free. Is that something that matters to you?”

The woman shrugged. “Freedom’s just a word, Princess. Another day, another ruler. The only thing that matters to us anymore is surviving in this blasted world you despots preside over.”

Igan elbowed her. “She didn’t mean disrespect, Tunguma Tano. We appreciate you not killing us.”

Spinning her lightsaber in her hand, Ahsoka hummed. “Now, that’s interesting. What makes you think I still won’t?”

He blanched, but his partner snorted. “Because you wouldn’t be wasting your time talking to us. You’d have taken us out immediately.”

“Unless I hoped to recruit you to my side. You’ve just informed me you’re not interested, yes?”

Jiyal smirked. “Not buying it, if you’re really who Petyr says. The stories about the lost Princess say she was willing to die to save even those who had wronged her.”

“Strange logic,” Ahsoka mused. “I’m a despot, who cares about her people’s lives. So, you believe in fairy tales told to children?”

She crossed her arms. “Who said I believed in them?”

“You did. You’re basing your survival on their veracity.”

Jiyal glanced around the control center. “What’s your point, Princess?”

“Simply that I find your indifference rather unconvincing. Only someone with hope in a better reality believes in fairy tales.”

Her face tightened. “Why does it matter to you what I believe?”

Ahsoka smiled. “Because it matters to you.”

The woman’s gaze flicked back to her but then she looked away again without responding.

Petyr cursed. “The third redundant matrix has been altered from the schematics!”

Ahsoka’s pulse sped up. “What does that mean?”

He wiggled underneath a power assembly. “It’s gonna take time to pinpoint the secondary reactor trigger. Otherwise, I might not be able to burn this out without causing a cascading explosion.”

Drawing air into her lungs and exhaling slowly, Ahsoka checked the countdown. Seven and half minutes until evac. The techs might have the needed knowledge, but that meant forcing compliance and then trusting them not to sabotage the endeavor. Wrecking the outer hardware with her saber would only take a couple of weeks to repair. Pryce would reinforce security after this incursion, so a second chance was unlikely. That left destroying everything, including all the people working here. No. It was a place Ahsoka Tano wouldn’t go. “I don’t want to harm the civilians. How long do you need? Maybe we can devise a delay to the security response.”

“Dunno yet. Five minutes or two hours. Let me work.”

There was a cough from the corner. “It’s part of the supplemental grid.”

She twisted around to Jiyal. A wary gaze met hers but didn’t shy away. Ahsoka called, “Jiyal claims it’s part of the supplemental grid.”

Petyr grunted. “Does she now. And should I believe her? That grid will take a few minutes to access and is the last place I’d usually check.”

Jiyal maintained eye contact with Ahsoka. “Exactly. It’s a security measure.”

Igan glanced between them, a petrified look on his face. “Ji, what are you doing? If they find out we helped—”

“Don’t have a meltdown, Igan. The Princess doesn’t want to kill us, and we don’t want to die. Sounds like a win-win.” She gave Ahsoka a half-shrug. “And I suppose a little hope never hurt anyone.”

Her lips curved up. “That’s my philosophy.” Ahsoka tapped fingers against her saber. Belief couldn’t survive on hope alone. It also required trust. And trust given was trust earned. Indicating Petyr’s legs, she said, “Care to ensure we all make it out alive?”

Jiyal blinked. “Are you serious? You do know I could get in there and do anything, right? Before Petyr realizes what’s happening, I could signal the guards, destroy the controls, lock down the system, blow up the whole place even.”

Ahsoka arched an eyebrow. “Do you plan to do any of those things?”

The woman gazed at her for a few seconds and then walked over. “No. I simply wanted to verify that you really are crazy.” A smirk flashed as she vanished underneath the assembly.

_______

Petyr and Jiyal wiggled from underneath the primary power bank. “Two minutes and we’re in business,” the man threw out as he ran wires into the control board.

Directing everyone toward the door, Ahsoka said, “Ok. We’ve exceeded the evac window. Our distractionary team should have just completed their egress. That means we’re going to receive undivided attention as soon as the enemy realizes we’re here. Once Petyr activates the burnout, we need to move fast.”

Jiyal looked over at Igan, who was sitting scrunched up in the corner. “Um, can we go with you? Igan wasn’t wrong. If they review the security footage and see I helped, we’re dead. Honestly, they’ll probably kill us for not dying to protect a piece of machinery.”

Ahsoka grinned. “Welcome to the Revolution.”

“No!” Igan jumped up. “We can’t, Ji. Don’t you remember how it was? People dying, everything burning, the s-screams—”

Jiyal walked over to him. “Staying here isn’t a life even if they do let us live, Igan. Come on. You can do this.”

He backed against a wall, eyes darting around. “I won’t go back!”

She grabbed his face. “Hey, don’t lose it on me. You don’t have to go back to being a revolutionary. You do have to leave here, though.” Taking his hand, she guided him over to the group. “Just make it through the next bit and then we’ll decide what to do, ok?”

The words seemed to calm him. Wrapping arms around himself, he stared at the floor. The tremors running across his body receded to an occasional shudder.

Ahsoka prayed she hadn’t made a terrible mistake with these two. Then again, did it matter now? The choice was made. Time to see it through. “Alright. Lu and Petyr will watch our six. I’ll take point. Everyone else spreads the gap and checks the junctures as we move. If we meet resistance, take cover behind me and pick off at will. Got it?”

Igan jerked his head up. “You’re going in front of us?”

She frowned. “Yes, is that a problem?”

His voice wavered. “I don’t understand. You could get killed.”

Petyr snorted. “This ain’t Dooku, Igan. The Tunguma Tano don’t let the rest of us fight battles she ain’t willing to fight herself. ‘Sides you ain’t never seen her in action. No one’s getting killed ‘cept them.”

Igan glanced between him and Ahsoka as if unsure whether to believe any of this.

Jiyal squeezed his hand. “Stay beside me.” Clenching her hand like a lifeline, the man nodded.

Petyr whooped. “Got it. Ready to roll.”

Ahsoka spun her sporting pistol around and offered it to Jiyal. “Here.”

The woman stared at it. “Um, aren’t you afraid I’ll shoot you in the back or something?”

“Do you plan to?”

The corners of her mouth edged up. “No. Just testing my theory.” Taking the weapon, she checked the status of the power pack. “Fully charged. Yep. You’re still crazy.”

“I like to live up to the hype.”

The woman lifted her blaster into a ready position and quirked an eyebrow. “We’ll see, Princess.”

Igan fixed on her weapon, skin paling further. Jiyal returned a hand to his, pistol gripped in the other. “Focus on me. This isn’t Alakhi.”

Her companion exhaled a shaky breath. “Ok.”

Standing in front of the door, Ahsoka lit her saber. Gazing at the shining green, she focused her mind on the present. “Do it.”

The walls began to vibrate, followed by a series of pops and hisses. Finally, a crescendo of sizzling circuitry and wafting smoke filled the air. Petyr watched the readout for a few seconds and then smirked. “Objective complete, ma’am.”

Ahsoka grinned, slapped the door control, and they ran for their lives.

_______

Whipping up her saber, Ahsoka bounced blaster bolts in all directions. The enemy squad broke formation and spilled into side corridors, only to be taken out by her advancing team. “Let’s go!”

Resuming their fast clip, they made unmolested progress for longer than expected. When Ahsoka ran out ahead of the group and rounded the final corner, she realized why. A huge chunk of enemy forces had set up a defensive grid at the exit.

An E-Web repeater began spraying fire at her. Ahsoka barely managed to evade the unrelenting weapon and dove back around the corner. She stole a glance over her shoulder. “Dammit!”

Her team had halted halfway down the corridor, just past the final junction. They were laying fire down both sides of the intersection as red bolts flew back at them.

On the other side of the junction, Igan was huddled behind a wall support several yards away and frantically pulling at his lekku. Jiyal was crouched beside him, peering around the beam with her pistol at the ready. An enemy squad appeared at the far end of the main corridor. The woman popped in and out of cover, taking down every single soldier with methodical precision. 

Ahsoka grunted. “I hope you stick around.” Tapping fingers against her saber, she muttered, “Alright, Tano. Enemies to the front, rear, left, and right. What now? You cut a hole in the floor and escape into dirt?” Her lips crept up the sides of her face. “Guess it’s time to show off.”

Risking a peek around the corner, Ahsoka deflected a few near-hits as she imprinted a mental image of the door panel behind the enemy forces. She could do this.

Shifting back out of the target zone, Ahsoka focused. Raising a hand, she pressed her fingertips together and then released them with a snap. The sound of a panel cover clattering to the floor echoed from the enemy position.

Jumping into the open, she threw out an arm at the E-Web gunner, who’d turned around to see what was behind him as had the rest of his compatriots. He flew sideways and crashed into three other soldiers.

Accelerating, she launched herself into the air. As she rotated over the heavy blaster cannon, Ahsoka sliced it in half. Landing behind the enemy line, she slashed straight through them two at a time. The few that escaped her blade ran away as fast as their legs would carry them.

Flushing with success, she scanned the area. All clear. Spinning on her heel, Ahsoka sprinted for the skirmish still ongoing behind her. She rounded the corner and beelined for the techs stranded on the other side of the junction.

Igan spotted her coming, and his mouth flopped open. He watched her every move in rapt attention. His body stopped its frantic jerks, hands floating down to his sides. As she reached the junction, his posture straightened.

Running up the wall beside her team, Ahsoka used the momentum to carry her across the upper lip of the archway. Igan tugged on Jiyal’s sleeve and pointed an animated finger toward Ahsoka. The woman twisted around, eyes widening.

Ahsoka hopped off on the other side of the junction. Blocking multiple shots upon landing, she ran past the techs to take on a fresh set of reinforcements rushing down the main corridor. “Go!”

Jiyal dragged her companion to his feet. “Don’t you dare lose it on me again, Igan. You almost got us killed!”

Ahsoka finished off the last soldier and then raced toward the opening between the side corridors. “I’ll hold them off,” she called to her team. “As soon as Igan and Jiyal cross the gap, everyone goes.”

Jiyal followed on her heels. “What about you?”

Reaching the intersection, Ahsoka blocked incoming shots from both directions. “I’ll be right behind you. The exit is around the corner. It’s clear for the moment. Now, move!”

She frowned but grabbed Igan’s arm. “Let’s go.”

The man stared at Ahsoka for a moment and then pushed Jiyal away. “I can do this. You’ll see.” Wobbling slightly, he ran toward the team.

As both techs crossed the line of fire, Petyr barked, “Lu, get everyone out. We’ll meet you at the designated coordinates.” Then, he took up position at Ahsoka’s back and picked off the two remaining enemies on the east side.

The Nikto saluted. “You heard him. Move!”

Igan didn’t even stop upon reaching them. He just kept running his little heart out down the corridor.

Jiyal watched the shaky but determined man go. “Huh. How about that?” Looking back at Ahsoka, she grinned. “Don’t die, Princess. I think I believe in fairy tales after all.” Then, she sprinted after the retreating team.

Ahsoka smiled to herself as she concentrated her energies on the seemingly never-ending supply of enemies in the west corridor. A blaster fired over her shoulder and took out two in quick succession. “Why are you still here, Petyr?” she hissed. “Will you just follow my damn instructions for once?”

“Not leaving you.”

She growled. “Somewhere, Barriss is enjoying this moment.”

They fell into a steady rhythm. Ahsoka deflected incoming shots, swiftly followed by Petyr leaning around her to take out the shooter. Five minutes later, nothing remained except a smoking corridor of bodies.

Petyr commented, “Well, that’s that. Guess we can go now if you want.”

Ahsoka glared at him. “Don’t push your luck, mister.”

He grinned and started moving toward the exit. “Yes, ma’am.”

Unable to help a small grin in return, she jogged after him. The taste of victory rose with each thud of her boots. Gripping her lightsaber, Ahsoka’s heart swelled.

There’d been no Jedi, no Barriss charging to the rescue. The plan had gone five levels of sideways. She’d had one neurotic tech and a cynical recruit to manage. Half a platoon of soldiers had ambushed them. Yet, she’d achieved the objective, made all the right decisions, given trust and received it back, avoided collateral damage, and hadn’t lost a single member of her team.

By the time they escaped into the night, the doubt and weariness plaguing her for the last few months had been replaced by a confident zeal. For the first time, Ahsoka Tano truly believed she could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are rolling now, baby!  
> The first 1/3 of this chapter was originally part of the prior chapter. However, between the reality-hopping vision and large chunks of introspection, it was a dense (and long) read. So, I wrote in a break and moved the conclusion here. I can't decide whether that was the correct choice, though. The shifted material aligns with this chapter's theme and supports the step forward in Ahsoka's growth, so it's fine in a conceptual sense. Still. What do you think? Should I have taken you from beginning to end on Ahsoka's quest in one chapter? Or does the separation add anything? Either way, I hope you enjoyed our now lightsaber-wielding Togruta in action! ⚔


	21. Other People’s Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Republic sends a surprising liaison.

Ahsoka peered around the dune. “They’re already here.” She flipped her hood up and walked toward the hardened patch of sand they used as an illicit landing pad. 

Obi-Wan followed on her heels. “Early. Unusual.” His cloaked head surveyed the area. “I don’t sense a threat.”

Giving a nod, Ahsoka moved closer to the Republic transport shuttle. Its hatch opened as they approached.

She blinked at the familiar figure climbing out. “You didn’t tell me the liaison was a Senator.”

The man hissed a breath. “I didn’t know. Probably by design, given the identity of this particular Senator.”

Padmé Amidala wrapped a long cloak around herself and crossed to them. “I take it you’re my welcoming committee. I hope you brought something to transport the supplies.”

Kenobi pulled off his hood. “What are you doing here, Padmé?”

The woman froze for a split second but then rushed forward. “Obi-Wan.” Throwing arms around him, she clung to his neck.

He hesitated before returning the embrace. “I’m pleased to see you, as well. However, you shouldn’t be here.”

She stiffened and stepped back. “I hardly think you’re in a position to comment on my movements, given you vanished without an inkling of your whereabouts. And apparently directed the Jedi Council to put me off everytime I tried to ascertain if you were alive or dead. Pray tell, what about this mission required such secrecy?”

Obi-Wan bristled. “It’s Jedi business, Senator. I believe you are familiar with the concept of ‘need to know’.”

“And I now need to know.”

“Yes, why is that?”

Her eyes flashed. “I’m here as a representative of the Republic, who is very invested in Shili’s stability.”

He exhaled. “The Republic decided to send one of their premiere senators into an active revolution. Pardon my disbelief.”

“It’s hard to argue with reality,” she retorted. “I am standing in front of you.”

“I’m not a fool, Padmé. You talked them into sending someone and then made sure it was you. Why?”

“It’s Senate business, Master Jedi,” she replied flatly. “I believe you are familiar with the concept of ‘need to know’.”

Ahsoka’s gaze flicked between them with keen interest. Unfortunately, her curiosity would have to wait. Removing her hood, she interjected, “Time out, kids. There’s a revolution on, and the Princess would like her supplies.”

Padmé jerked around to her. Then, a smile blossomed. “Ahsoka. Warning, I’m going to hug you. Prepare yourself.” Crossing to her, she did just that. “How are you?”

Surprised but not displeased at the warm greeting, Ahsoka returned it. “Oh, you know. Running a revolution against an evil Sith Lord with the people who once hated me. Never better.”

The woman gave her a wry grin. “Yes, well, that was more of a rhetorical question.”

Ahsoka laughed and then whistled. Petyr drove a flatbed speeder from behind the dune. “We shouldn’t linger. You and Obi-Wan are welcome to argue all the way back to base if you like.”

Padmé frowned at him. “We wouldn’t have to argue if he didn’t insist on keeping me in the dark about everything.”

Obi-Wan ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s just load the supplies.”

Lips pressing together, Padmé signaled her pilot and then directed Ahsoka’s people to the ship’s hold. Once the transfer was underway, the woman followed Kenobi down to the speeder. “Alright. I’m sorry for coming out blasters blazing, but we’ve been worried. Your message saying you’d been sent on assignment didn’t mention being out of touch for _months._ The twins are becoming ridiculous about the situation. When my answers on your whereabouts weren’t satisfactory, Luke hacked into the communications console to replay your goodbye and look for clues.”

Plopping his crate onto the flatbed, Obi-Wan grunted. “At four? Getting a jump on his father.”

The corners of her mouth twitched. “Meanwhile, Leia posits complicated scenarios about you being eaten by sea monsters. Mostly to get a rise out of Luke, who insists sea monsters can’t kill Jedi.”

“Also, Anakin.”

“Oh, I don’t think so, Kenobi. We all know where his skill for inducing exasperation originated.”

Smoothing hair off his forehead, he remarked, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

This time, the smile reached her face. However, it swiftly vanished. “When I left them with Sola, they were convinced I was going off to search for you despite my insistence otherwise. No doubt, they expect me to return with you in hand. There is a child’s anxiety in it. They waited all day on their—” Her crisp tone lost its edge. “You’ve never missed their birthday, Obi-Wan. And certainly not gone this long without even a message.”

The man winced. “I am sorry, Padmé. Don’t think I didn’t regret the necessity. They may not have sent anyone if I’d raised objections, and we both know it was the right thing to do. Granted, events didn’t transpire as expected. Once we’d settled into operations, I intended to update you. I’d also hoped, maybe foolishly, to be back by their birthday or at least be able to call them. I didn’t anticipate the Council’s continued adamance on secrecy.”

She blew out a short breath. “The Council is adamant on a lot of things, Obi-Wan. When are you going to tell them to shove it up their—”

“Padmé!” Glancing around at the rebels toting crates to the speeder, he took the woman’s arm and guided her toward the nose of the ship.

Ahsoka watched their animated discussion as she continued organizing incoming supplies. She could have homed in on their conversation but decided not to snoop. “For now.” She grinned to herself and then focused on the task in front of her.

_______

While the others finished unloading, Ahsoka led Padmé down the hidden ladder and into their base. They reached the command center, where Barriss and Luminara were poring over a map of the city.

Glancing up at their entrance, Barriss brightened. “Padmé. Obi-Wan didn’t say you were the Republic representative.”

The man in question lugged a crate through the door with a grunted, “No, he didn’t.”

Padmé gave her a quick hug. “Obi-Wan didn’t know. My presence was classified by the Senate Intelligence Committee. Though, I suspected I would find you here.”

The closest thing Ahsoka had seen to a bashful smile from Barriss appeared. “Apparently, I can’t break bad habits.”

Gripping her arm, Padmé leaned into Barriss’s ear. Her voice lowered to a level Ahsoka could barely make out from the other side of the table. “As I’ve said before, changing who you are is a losing proposition. No matter how far we run. It was true on that day and is still true on this one.”

Barriss swallowed. “Maybe, but you can’t change something you’re not sure you ever were.” She motioned toward Luminara. “You two are already acquainted, of course.”

Ahsoka noted the switch from casual to formal mode as Padmé addressed the Jedi, “Master Unduli, you look well. I was not aware you were assigned to this mission. Granted, until we landed, I wasn’t aware Master Kenobi was either. The Order certainly isn’t sharing many operational details these days.”

“Senator Amidala,” Luminara replied with an equal air of formality. “I am glad you arrived safely. I must also admit surprise that the Senate chose such a high-ranking member to offer on-the-ground advisement and reporting. We expected a senior aide to relay information.” Her tone took on a dry inflection. “Perhaps, like myself, this mission was more of a self-assignment?”

“In a way. Though, I think both you and Master Kenobi underestimate the level of concern over Shili’s fate. Despite appearances, Dooku retaining any measure of power is not an outcome we want. As for me, it seemed only fair to contribute, since I shared the information that put my friends in this situation.” After giving Ahsoka an apologetic smile, she continued, “Am I to understand you chose this mission on your own authority?” Padmé shot a sideways glance at Obi-Wan. “I was not aware the Council allowed such independent thinking.”

The man grimaced and began studiously arranging his crate in the corner.

Luminara said archly, “You have very decided opinions on how the Order functions, Senator.”

Padmé tensed. “You find that surprising? I am part of the reigning government the Jedi serve.”

“Not at all. It was merely a statement of fact. Criticism, whether accurate or not, is to be expected given your position, history, and personal connection to the Order.”

“Ah. You believe my opinions to be emotionally driven and politically motivated.”

Raising her eyebrows, Luminara replied, “I made no such claims. You assume intent where none is given.”

Her expression hardened. “No assumptions are involved when you are always so clearly intent on antagonizing me while pretending you aren’t. Yet, you never end up saying anything of substance. Why is that, Master Unduli?”

Luminara’s eyes narrowed. “That is an unfounded accusation, Senator Amidala. I merely point out your own statements. If you do not care to be reminded of what you say, perhaps you should reconsider the words.”

Obi-Wan must have finally decided intervention was called for as he stopped arranging his crate for the fiftieth time. “Alright. This is hardly a productive conversation.”

Both women turned toward him in obvious annoyance. Luminara remarked, “Do you have something more productive to add?”

Padmé crossed her arms. “While I’m loath to agree with Master Unduli, I must concur. Tell me again why some Council members can simply assign themselves to secret missions and others can’t even send a message informing people they’re still alive?”

As the conversation devolved into strained retorts with the thinnest veil of politeness, Ahsoka leaned into Barriss’s ear. “What is up with them?”

Barriss continued manipulating the map she’d long ago returned to plotting. “Hmm?”

“Those three. Your master isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but she’s not usually deliberately antagonistic. A galactic senator and former queen, who I imagine has put up with all manner of insult and frustration, is close to losing her temper. And Obi-Wan looks like he wants to flee the room post-haste. What’s the story?”

The woman barely glanced at the group before going back to her map. “Disagreement is to be expected when you put people with strong viewpoints together in a stressful situation. Everyone appears to be stating their opinions in a civilized manner.”

She gaped. “You aren’t even listening, are you? I know you said Jedi aren’t supposed to have romantic attachments, but it’s like there is some kind of weird love triangle going on.”

Her head jerked up, mouth parting. “What? Wait. Let me understand this. You’re suggesting two people generally considered model Jedi and one well-respected Galactic Senator, who already suffered through a tragic, secret relationship with a Jedi, are all somehow involved in an illicit romantic power struggle. Do you know how outlandish that sounds?”

Ahsoka huffed. “Escort, you may be a badass mercenary, but you’re abysmal at romance.”

The woman squinted. “Is that right?”

She smirked. “Well, it did take you eight months to kiss me.”

One side of her mouth quirked. “What makes you think I wanted to before then? Perhaps, you wore me down to the point of madness. Or maybe I finally realized it was the only reasonable choice to ensure you followed instructions.”

Ahsoka pecked her cheek. “No need to pretend. I had you from neon green. Admit it.”

She snorted. “Get back to your point, Princess. If you have one.”

“I’m only saying _something_ is going on. I can’t believe you don’t see it. Maybe you know them too well. You’re reading what you expect. Look again. Watch how Luminara and Padmé react to each other. It’s like a Yuli. Remember, in the canyon? How he assessed us as potential threats and then let us know he was the protector? It’s as if they’re both protecting the same territory. More specifically, Obi-Wan. It might not be romantic, but there’s a serious underlying issue.”

Barriss’s gaze swung back to the trio. Her brow gradually furrowed.

Ahsoka crowed into her ear, “Told you so.”

Her face pinched. “Fine. It’s odd. But that doesn’t prove your melodramatic love triangle theory.”

Ahsoka brushed nails across her chest. “It’s ok to say I’m right, you know.”

Barriss ground her teeth. “Whatever it is, it’s not our business.”

Before Ahsoka could respond, Obi-Wan clipped out, “Enough of this. We can discuss these matters later. There are more critical concerns at the moment. We are here to fight a revolution.”

Both women winced. Luminara nodded. “You are correct, Master Kenobi. My apologies.”

Padmé inhaled deeply. “And mine. I’m not sure why my nerves are on edge today. I suppose it’s been a tiring journey.”

Ahsoka put in, “Oh, the revolution can wait. I’ve never seen a full throw-down between Jedi and a Senator. If you’d like, Barriss and I can leave the room and eavesdrop from the doorway to give you the illusion of privacy.”

Barriss jabbed her ribs. “What Ahsoka means to say is we appreciate all of you being here. It is not easy to put one’s life on hold and involve yourself in a fight for a planet that is not your own. We are grateful.”

Feeling slightly chagrined, Ahsoka added, “Actually, I do mean that. So, before we save the world, how about some rest? We can review our next objective in the morning. Senator, let me show you to quarters. It’s really a partitioned space with a cot and some necessities, but we like to pretend we’re living high.”

Padmé chuckled. “Sounds lovely. Do lead on, Princess.”

Ahsoka turned to Barriss. “No more planning tonight. I’m sure B’asia isn’t sleeping without one of us there.”

Barriss rubbed her forehead. “I know. I’ll go now.” Heading toward the exit, she paused by Luminara. Brushing a hand across her arm, she murmured, “I’ll see you in the morning. Perhaps, we can continue our earlier conversation.”

Her master’s pensive face brightened. “I would enjoy that. Sleep well, Barriss.”

“And you.” Nodding at the others, Barriss vanished.

Ahsoka picked up Padmé’s travel bag. “Shall we get you settled, Senator?”

The woman glanced at Obi-Wan and hesitated. Then, she simply delivered a formal, “Good night, Masters.” Pivoting, Padmé followed Ahsoka from the room.

_______

Ahsoka dropped the woman’s bag on the cot. “Whelp, anything I can get you?”

Padmé smiled. “No, thank you. I prefer to think of myself as impressively low maintenance for a Senator.”

“Good to hear, because we’re a low maintenance operation.”

“Guess you lucked out on Senators, then.” Amidala opened her bag and removed a silky piece of clothing.

“Yeah, um, we may have different definitions of low maintenance. I hope that’s fit for public consumption.”

“What?”

“A midnight walk to the fresher or an emergency evacuation could take on a whole new meaning, depending on the nature of the gown in your hands.”

Padmé grinned. “Not to worry. I wasn’t planning on dazzling anyone during a revolution, so I brought my standard.” She held up a fancy, off-the-shoulder long gown.

Ahsoka arched an eyebrow. “I hate to see what you wear when dazzling is in order.” Then, she added slyly, “Not sure Obi-Wan would agree, given he looked like a man mowed down by a rancor after you and Luminara finished with him.”

The woman stiffened and turned back to her bag.

Immediately regretting her runaway mouth, she moved beside her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She returned an expression that Ahsoka recognized a mile away. It was a mirror image of her own perfect princess smile. “You didn’t. Don’t worry. I’m still a little annoyed about his lack of communication is all.”

Ahsoka chewed her lip and then put a hand on the woman’s arm. “No. It’s more than that. You’re not ok.”

Padmé curled fingers around her gown. “I’m fine.”

She sighed. “Of course, you are. You know I’m here if you want to talk though, right?”

Shaking out her gown, she gave another perfect smile. “Certainly. Now, I’m exhausted without running a revolution, so I’m certain you must be. How about we get some sleep?”

Ahsoka hesitated but then decided Barriss was right. She really needed to learn how to mind her own business. “Sounds like a plan. Rest well, Senator.”

As she headed toward the corridor, a quiet voice said, “Padmé. Please.”

Twisting around, she saw the woman clutching her gown. Ahsoka met her eyes and replied brightly, “Night, Padmé.”

A genuine smile shined back at her this time, and Ahsoka headed to bed with a smile of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What fun!  
> Is there a Maul quote for every situation? Very possibly.


	22. Building a Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years of working in worthy if bureaucratic environments leaves scars on your psyche. Specifically, physical shuddering upon hearing trite and overused corporate catch-phrases. One of these nails on a chalkboard is "build a bridge". This means I've officially become the very thing I swore to destroy. Eh, what can I say? Lay down some planks or get the hell off the bridge.  
>  _*This chapter summary--which in no way summarizes the chapter--brought to you by Gabby's sleep-deprived mind._

Barriss pored over the map with the intensity Ahsoka loved to watch. Leaning against the table, she let her gaze wander across the woman’s features. It still made her feel the same as the first time. Calm. Settled. Safe.

Yet, the tenor felt different today. It was less and also… more? Frowning to herself, she probed for the why. _‘Something’s changed. What?’_

_‘You, Princess.’_

_‘Oh. Right.’_

Yes. Ahsoka no longer needed that feeling to make it through her day; rather making it through her day was so much better with the feeling. A small distinction but, she thought, an important one. Though, the same sliver of anxiety still simmered in the background. Whether she needed the feeling or not, Ahsoka definitely didn’t want to lose the woman who generated it.

Eventually, this experiment would end. That’s all they’d committed to seeing through. When it did, would Barriss stay or go? They were happy, right? She was, anyway. Barriss _seemed_ happy. Except, every once in a while, a cloud passed through her smile. Ahsoka could never bring herself to ask the reason. They simply kept pretending what was now would always be.

Hadn’t she learned her lesson? Living in a bubble helped no one. Yet, here she was doing it again. Why? Because she was afraid, so afraid, Barriss wasn’t ready to make this reality.

Almost unwillingly, she cleared her throat. “Barriss, are you… happy?”

The woman jerked her head up. “Uh, what?”

Maintaining an expectant gaze, she repeated the question Barriss already knew. “Are you happy?”

She swallowed and then glanced around. “Yes.”

Ahsoka evaluated the face that continued to look everywhere but her. She circled the table and laid a hand on Barriss’s cheek. Rubbing a diamond tattoo, she murmured, “ _Too_ happy.”

Her eyes squeezed shut. “Yes.”

Sighing, she pulled the woman into her arms. “Ok. How can we fix it?”

“I’ve been trying. I really have. It—I can’t seem to process—I’m sorry. You deserve more than I’m capable of giving.”

“That’s not true. Anyway, it doesn’t matter whether you think I should want you or not. I’ve already made my choice. It’s—”

“Don’t!” Burying her face into Ahsoka’s shoulder, she whispered, “Please, Soka. I can’t handle this conversation yet. We’re not supposed to decide our path until the end, remember?”

Sucking air into her cheeks, she slowly released it. “I remember. In the meantime, will you at least consider the possibility that there’s no such thing as too happy?”

Only the beeping of the console beside them sounded for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Barriss lifted her head. Spreading fingers across Ahsoka’s face, she melded lips into hers with a quiet, “Yes.”

_______

Ahsoka massaged her temples. “This stuff gives me a headache. I think I’m going to need more than a crash course to get it all straight.”

Padmé grinned. “That’s what I’m here for, Princess. Your homework between fights to the death is to study up on the legislative process. Especially early on, Shili must have strong representation to push through bills to benefit your system. How and who you choose as Senate representatives is critical.”

Taking the pad, she stared at the diagrams. “I should have paid more attention to my lessons on galactic politics. I was never meant to do any of this, you know. Still not sure I am.”

“You are, Ahsoka. Youngest Princess or not, you were prepared to lead. Information can be easily refreshed. Environmental awareness, perception management, and appropriate mindset is what most lack. You have those and more. Leading a revolution has further honed those skills. You take for granted what comes naturally due to your background. Think about it. You instinctively understand what to do when. You’re able to ebb and flow, project confidence, and fill potential gaps in a wide variety of situations. You even know how and when to make a damn good speech. These are abilities inexperienced leaders, and some experienced ones for that matter, struggle to master. You employ them successfully everyday. Not only that, you have the disposition to lead.”

She grunted. “If you say so.”

“It’s true. Leading in any environment is unique. However, there are keys. For instance, you want to understand issues and solve them, you’ll listen to opposing opinions yet also be decisive, and you’re conscientious about your responsibilities. Better yet, you have a genuine and passionate approach, which inspires the same in others. You already have everything you need. The rest is window-dressing. Adapting and molding that exterior into whatever role you hold is part of any leader’s life.”

“Maybe.” She paced around Padmé’s quarters, tapping the pad against her thigh. “But what if I don’t want that to be my life?”

“Oh, that’s another question entirely.” The woman paused. “Though, it doesn’t hurt to explore the option. Someone has to move Shili forward. Why not finish what you started by getting them on the road to stability? See how things go? It’s up to you, of course. I’m merely saying you can do it. And do it well.”

A tinge of heat flushed her cheeks. “Thanks. So, um, how did you decide doing this kinda thing was the life for you?”

She started. “I’m not sure.” Her expression turned distant. “It’s what I’ve always done. Perhaps…”

“Perhaps…?”

Padmé refocused on her with a perfect smile. “Sorry, my mind was wandering.” Rising from her stool, she crossed to the side table and opened her travel bag. “Probably a sign of political terminology overload. I think that means it’s time to declare an end to your suffering for this evening.”

Dropping her pad on the cot, Ahsoka walked over and put a hand on her arm. “Please, tell me what’s bothering you. I doubt I can fix the problem, but sometimes it helps to sort of acknowledge what’s there. At least, it does for me.”

Her fingers rolled the hem of her nightgown as she stared down at it. “I don’t disagree in theory. I’m simply not very good at practical application.”

“Neither was I. You’re the one that taught me even the best leaders struggle to handle things. Feeling less than perfect was ok and being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak. Don’t act as if you didn’t know exactly what you were doing, either.”

A faint note of amusement tinged her tone. “You’re suggesting I miraculously conveyed all of these truths in the space of a few scattered conversations between blood transfusions? Perhaps, you’re giving me credit for a lesson you taught yourself.”

Ahsoka snorted. “Does this routine fool most people?”

Padmé raised her head with a wan expression. “Is that your way of saying you don’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth?”

Curling fingers around her arm, she replied, “You saw me. Now, I see you. That’s how this works. So, why not try taking your own advice?”

There was a heavy sigh. “I’m not very good at that either.”

“Whelp, there’s only one way to get better at things.” Plopping herself on the cot, Ahsoka winked. “Practice, Senator. Practice.”

“Am I to understand you’re not going to let me sleep until I confess some deep, dark problem?”

Leaning back on her palms, Ahsoka flashed her A+. “Yep. And we’re both tired, so let’s speed up the process.”

The woman sent her eyes skyward. “Fine, Precious. On one condition.”

“Such as?”

“Get the hell off my bed.”

Ahsoka tapped a finger to her chin. “Hmm…” Scooting to the end of the cot, she crossed her legs. “We’ll compromise.”

Padmé exhaled and started changing into her gown. “You’ve gotten awfully demanding.”

“Well, I _am_ a princess at the moment.”

“Only at the moment?”

Ahsoka arched an eyebrow. “Nope. You don’t get to turn this conversation around. We’re talking about you.”

Padmé slid under the covers with an innocent expression. “Were we?”

Whipping the blanket off of her, Ahsoka squinted. “No going back on the deal.”

She tugged her cover back and snipped, “You mean extortion?”

“Getting you to talk requires extreme measures.” Stretching out beside the woman, she softened her tone. “Come on, Padmé. Just try.”

Ahsoka’s hunting bow had been molded from mohigan. The rare wood was highly prized by those who possessed it and sought after by those who didn’t. Mohigan was rich and vibrant, stronger than steel yet just supple enough to curve when required. And, oh so effective. If given proper care, no other bow could hope to match its power. Those were the eyes gazing back at her in this moment. After a few seconds, they started to glisten. Then, Padmé whispered, “I don’t know if I can do this on my own, Ahsoka.”

She took her hand and rubbed a thumb over it. “Do what?”

Fingers curled around hers. “Be a Senator, raise two children, fend off political attacks while balancing service to my people and the Republic, manage my personal affairs or lack thereof, navigate enough minefields to actually make a difference, constantly make critical decisions that could be the wrong one for any of those things, basically… handle my life. Now, my coalition wants me to run for Chancellor after Bail’s term ends. They think I have a strong chance of winning. And they’re not wrong. I could do it. What comes with it is the problem. More, always more.”

“That sounds like a lot for one person, even you.”

“Yes, but how do you decide priorities when everything you _don’t_ do may hurt someone?” Her expression tightened. “I lost both my parents last year, you know. I barely had time to mourn them. Or, perhaps, I simply couldn’t handle facing it. I kept meaning to visit, but there was always something else that needed my attention.” She closed her eyes. “Then, they were gone. Just like Anakin. I never get to say goodbye.”

Not sure how to make it better, Ahsoka simply squeezed her hand and waited.

Glazed eyes reopened. “I wonder if I fought to take this mission for the wrong reasons. I wanted to help, but who? Maybe myself. Supporting those in need directly, focusing on a single goal, and fighting a clear-cut enemy alongside others I care about was so appealing. When helping incite a revolution feels like a vacation, it should tell you something about your life.” She laughed blankly. “I didn’t truly realize how overwhelmed I was until Obi-Wan vanished. I’ve come to depend on him too much—help with Luke and Leia, advice on my dilemmas, just having someone who cares being there. But he has his own life and responsibilities. Expecting constant support isn’t fair to him.” Her voice began to break. “I guess it finally forced me to accept I’m… alone.”

Ahsoka swallowed a lump in her throat. “I understand.” She had no idea how to help and it pained her. Racking her mind, she spit out options, “Do you actually want to be all those things? Is there something you could drop or step away from? Or, like you said, take a break—preferably not while also fighting a revolution. You know, recharge and think from a distance? What about your sister? Could you stay with her for a while?”

There was a weak shrug. “It would mean giving up my career. I can’t take an extended absence and leave Naboo without representation. More importantly, I’m sponsoring and overseeing several humanitarian and infrastructure projects. I spent a great deal of political capital and far too much time getting them through the gauntlet. If I resigned, there wouldn’t be anyone to see the most controversial ones to completion. Senators with enough clout to do so already have their own slate of equally arduous programs. These projects will help thousands across multiple systems. Should those people suffer because I’m tired? Running away from a problem doesn’t solve it.”

“Yeah, but choosing to change your life isn’t the same as running away, right? My mother always said a one-rope bridge is an emergency not a lifestyle. Either lay down some planks or stay the hell off it. It’s like you’re commando crawling back and forth every day. Assuming continuing to travel that route is what you want, wouldn’t it be wise to take some time to build a better bridge? Otherwise, maybe you should rethink your destination. And now, since I’m clueless on these questions myself and am adding absolutely nothing but confusing metaphors to this discussion, I shall cease and desist advice-giving for the evening.”

That got an actual smile. “Well, at least, I’m not alone on a lack of bridge design.”

Ahsoka returned the smile while tightening the grip on her hand. “You’re not alone for any of it. I’ll always be here. If I decide to try my hand at rebuilding Shili, we’d have plenty of opportunities to meet up. Oh, how about we co-sponsor an economic conference? No guerillas invited. When you need some time for yourself, you could send the kids to me for a visit. B’asia would be thrilled to have someone younger than her to boss around. If I go back to roaming the galaxy, I can swing by Coruscant regularly. Mercenary services, free of charge? I know it’s not quite the same as having someone at every moment, but it could be close. Day or night, I’m only a holocall away.” Locking their eyes, she added quietly, “There’s no need to do things on your own when you have me.”

Padmé blinked rapidly and then rasped, “Thanks.”

“No, don’t thank me. This isn’t me doing you a favor. It’s—” She took a deep breath. “I lost everyone who ever cared about me, Padmé. Other than Barriss, nobody gives a damn about Ahsoka, the person anymore. There aren’t people I can talk to about the messed-up things inside my head, who understand me. I have no intention of losing the only friend who does.”

She lifted their joined hands to her chest. “Me neither.”

_______

B’asia and Jess came running into the command center. Her niece waved but beelined straight for Barriss. “Are you busy?”

There was an absent nod in response.

Undaunted, B’asia tucked herself against the woman’s side. “How long will you be busy?”

Lifting her free hand, Barriss stroked her montrals as she rotated the map with the other. “It’ll be a while.”

The girl frowned. “We’re supposed to take our test on hook kicks today. You said you’d teach Jess and me how to do the spinning one if we passed. Remember? We’ve been practicing all week.”

Shifting focus to her pad, Barriss tapped a notation into it. “When I had time. I don’t right now.”

B’asia’s face fell. “Oh. Ok. I understand.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth, intending to try and probably fail at convincing Barriss to take a break when a new voice preempted her. “What are you working on, Barriss?”

“Plotting the latest intel points onto our master map,” she answered without looking up.

Luminara strolled into the command center. Plucking the pad from Barriss’s hand, she skimmed the contents. “I’ll take it from here.”

She blinked. “What?”

Her master flicked fingers toward the door. “Your presence is not required at this juncture. Unless there is a reason I cannot successfully synthesize and record this information?”

“No. It’s only that I—”

“Prefer to do it yourself,” Luminara finished crisply. “While your dedication is admirable, expending your time on this task is unnecessary since others are willing and able to accomplish it. There is another task that does require your sole attention, however. It’s not this pad.”

Her forehead wrinkled until Barriss spotted two hopeful faces fixed on her. Expression softening, she smiled at them. “Well, my little Jedi, it seems I have time after all.”

The girls exchanged excited grins. Skipping over, B’asia threw arms around Luminara. “Thanks.”

The Jedi flinched and nearly dropped the pad. “Erm, you are quite welcome, youngling.” She awkwardly patted the child’s shoulders. “I hope you enjoy learning.”

B’asia looked up with a grin. “We will.” Grabbing Barriss’s hand, she dragged her toward the exit. The woman managed a brief backward glance at Luminara as all three of them vanished through the door.

Ahsoka watched a faint smile touch Luminara’s lips. “Now, why did you do that?”

Her eyebrows lifted. “You disapprove?”

“Of course not. My niece is happy, and Barriss is taking a break from work. The latter is an outcome I’ve rarely achieved and not for lack of effort. However, you made it happen with little fuss. Barriss’s automatic acceptance suggests she is accustomed to such intervention from you.”

“Yes. She’s always tended to hyperfocus.” Luminara’s tone brightened as she continued, “For instance, ten-year-old Barriss developed a fascination with insects. She can probably still tell you more about them than you’ll ever want to hear. However, a Jedi cannot lose track of time while researching a new hybrid beetle and miss her lessons. She eventually found a way to adapt by channeling that single-mindedness into Jedi-related activities. What many saw as a weakness, Barriss turned into strength. This came with consequences—a bordering on obsessive work ethic and a wariness of leisure interests, interpersonal connections, or anything she deemed as a potential distraction being among them. Reminders to balance became imperative.”

“Yeah, see that’s what I mean. You understand her like a mother does their child. You made efforts to ensure her well-being. You want her to succeed but not at the expense of herself. And yet, you’re also the person who taught Barriss to sacrifice everything for the greater good and then left her to face the consequences alone when she did. You’re the supposedly perfect Jedi, who slips me a kyber crystal and then pretends to have no idea what I’m talking about when I thank you for it. To be honest, you confuse the hell outta me.”

Luminara sighed. “You’ve decided I’m a detached Jedi, who sees personal fulfillment and relationships as tools to achieve an objective or necessary relaxation to maintain ideal efficiency. Otherwise, I find emotional concerns irrelevant and would never form an attachment that may compromise my principles.”

She tilted her head. “Interesting. I’d say your interpretation of my statements suggests more about your beliefs than mine. Does that imply accuracy?”

The woman gazed at her. “Is that how Barriss describes me?”

“No.” Ahsoka crossed her arms. “She speaks glowingly of your wisdom, compassion, and general greatness. However, I see the hurt behind her eyes as she says it. Do you have another way for me to reconcile it?”

Setting the pad down, Luminara stared at a blinking section of the holomap. “Perhaps, it can’t be reconciled.”

She hissed and began pacing around the command center. “You don’t care, but you do. You religiously toe the line of the Jedi, but sometimes don’t. You believe in Barriss, but not when it mattered most. You make no sense to me, Luminara Unduli. I don’t see how anyone who loves Barriss Offee could abandon her. Yet, the woman who basically raised her, who knew her best, who should have been the person she could most rely on chose to do just that.”

Her head dropped, palms pressing into the table. “You’re asking for an answer I don’t have, Ahsoka. I can't explain that person either.”

“The hell you can’t. Are you saying that person doesn’t exist anymore?”

“I hope not,” she replied quietly.

Ahsoka forced herself to a halt. Rolling tension from her shoulders, she attempted a calmer approach. “Alright. I didn’t start this conversation intending to get upset. I’m not your judge, nor do I want to be. I simply want to understand.”

Luminara lifted her head with a faint smile. “You care enough about Barriss to get angry at me. I’ll presumably confuse you further by saying I find that pleasing.”

She grunted. “Yep. Thanks for that.” Ahsoka rapped knuckles against her thigh as she ordered her thoughts. “So, I think you’re trying to tell me you’ve changed. What caused the change?”

There was a long silence before she answered softly, “I lost Barriss.” Luminara straightened and rubbed hands over her face. “Are you familiar with the phrase ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It’s a warning about unintended lessons. You must display the behavior you want your students to emulate. We failed. Many young Jedi said what we said, but did as we did. They learned from us to be what we insisted they shouldn’t. Barriss didn’t. She actually did what we claimed to want her to do. And we punished her for it.”

“Ok, see there’s my problem. If you knew that and you do care about Barriss, why wait years to make things right?”

“Denial, guilt, confusion, and more. It’s rather paralyzing. Losing Barriss sparked the crisis, but it wasn’t the source. Viewing reality through a specific lens is ingrained into all Jedi from childhood. I was no different. I’d spent a lifetime believing certain things, and now there was a disconnect. If we were wrong, what did that mean? Was it a matter of course correction or was the issue foundational? If the latter, how do you change an entire system? Leave it? Fix it from the inside? Preach the truth in the streets? Is it arrogance to think you can see what wiser Jedi do not? Do you even have credibility when you were part of the problem? Are you _still_ part of the problem? You start to wonder if you’re seeing the truth at all.”

“And now you’ve figured it out?”

“Not really. I doubt I ever will completely. I find myself changing with each new day. However, I _am_ changing.”

“Huh. That I get.” Curling fingers into her palms, she ventured, “Erm, how did you go from spinning in limbo to choosing an actual direction?”

“I had…” She clasped hands in front of her stomach. “... I suppose you’d call it a lapse of control, which led to me confessing all of this to another Jedi. We realized we shared the same pain—losing our apprentices due to a system we’d championed and defended, not able to reconcile the dissonance, hiding our grief in Jedi platitudes. That was when I finally found a path forward. Simply having someone else on the journey changed everything. If the person I was died when I lost Barriss, who I am now was born that day.”

Ahsoka pursed her lips. “Obi-Wan.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes.”

She gave a crisp nod. “I understand more than I thought. I may be playing the part of a princess right now, but it’s not who I am. The Tunguma Tano died when she found out reality wasn’t at all what she thought it was. Ahsoka Tano is someone different. Or maybe it’s who was always underneath once you stripped away the lies. I still don’t know, and I’m starting to believe it doesn’t matter. Others don’t define me anymore. I am who I choose to be, and that person is always changing. Like you, my journey started the day I realized I wasn’t alone. That realization came from Barriss.” One side of her mouth edged up. “So, from a certain point of view, loss brought both of us life.”

Luminara blinked. Then, a smile touched her lips. “Spoken like a true Jedi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is notable for its spectacular lack of plot movement and overabundance of Ahsoka bonding time. Calm before the metaphorical storm and all that jazz. 
> 
> Oh, obligatory update chaos warning. Is it just me or am I doing a lot of these on this story? I blame... well, I can't think of anyone to blame at the moment. ANYHOW, my day job is on the rampage again and blah, blabbity, blah... [insert Gabby ranting here]. Since we're close to the end (wait--what?!), I no longer have a safety cushion. Fully editing a draft-only chapter takes mucho time. I'm not talking Lando gathering an armada. We're looking at Boba Fett finally bothering to get his armor back levels of time. We must therefore rely on the goodwill of my life & work schedule to leave enough evenings free. What I'm saying here people is the next update could come in a week or ten. *choking noises*. Ok, ok, not that long. However, I do have serious doubts it'll be ready to post next weekend. And for that I am sorry. /Sigh./


	23. Making Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A communications disruption could mean only one thing...

Ahsoka drummed fingers along her thigh. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Obi-Wan scanned the buildings lining both sides of the alleyway. “I’m afraid I must agree with the sentiment. Sildon is extremely punctual. No signal indicating a delay or abort is concerning.”

“Perhaps, he used another channel.” Lifting her wrist, she triple-tapped the comm. “Sector Zero, this is Alpha Tango. Have you received an 86 from The Representative?”

There was a burst of static before the line disconnected. Stomach knotting, she tried again. “Sector Zero, come in. This is Alpha Tango. Please, respond.” Only silence answered. “That’s it. We’re going.” Ahsoka started striding away, Obi-Wan at her heels.

Before they reached the street, a familiar figure stumbled into the alleyway and collapsed against Ahsoka. “Tun-Tun…”

Grasping his armpits, she dragged Deemoc out of sight and propped him against a nearby wall. “Ok, buddy, just relax.” Blaster scorching and blood decorated the front of his tunic. Ripping it open, she cursed. It was bad. “What happened? Where’s Sildon?”

Bracing himself against the wall in a half-standing position, the young man rasped, “P-Pryce surrounded office. Said found out who Sil really was. To surrender. He told me… hide in vent. Blew door. Sil tried… too many. D-dead.”

Her chest compressed. Shoving the emotions away, Ahsoka dug the medkit from her slingbag and grabbed an emergency coagulant. She refused to lose the one in front of her, as well.

As she injected it, his eyes sharpened and he pushed her away. “Leave me! You have to—cracked pad. I tried to steal back but got s-shot.” His voice pitched higher. “Location imprint! Base!”

Ahsoka froze. “Are you saying they recovered the courier pad and decoded its geographical positioning history? They’re using that data to pinpoint the base’s location? When did this happen?”

“Yes!” Deemoc doubled over with a gasp. “Ran fast as I could. Maybe, h-hour?”

Kenobi grabbed the medkit from her hands. “Go. The communications disruption means they’ve likely narrowed down the radius at a minimum. You need to lead an evac if there’s still time. I’ll follow as soon as I can after stabilizing Deemoc and getting him to a medcenter.”

The knot in her stomach hardened. Ahsoka took a second to gently rub Deemoc’s bruised cheek. “You did good. Don’t you dare die on me. What if I want to give you a medal?”

The young man returned a weak grin as he slid to the ground. Throwing Obi-Wan a quick nod, Ahsoka ran.

_______

As she reached the warehouse, Ahsoka dropped into a defensive crouch. Her sentries were sprawled unmoving by the side door.

Creeping along the building, she checked their vitals and then squeezed her eyes shut. Two more to add to Pryce’s tab. How many more would she lose before this war was over?

A familiar ball of fire kindled in her chest. “No. That’s not your path.” Forcing herself into stillness, she inhaled deeply and worked to center her mind. A cooling salve of unrelenting purpose filled the space where anger once burned. As her senses melded into the environment, she murmured, “This ends today, Arihnda.”

When she lifted her eyes to the open door, Ahsoka Tano was ready.

_______

Sliding down the ladder with one hand, she sliced through two blasters before her feet hit the ground. Finishing off their owners, Ahsoka pelted down the corridor toward the command hub.

She had to slow as a slew of bodies littered her path. Pryce apparently had taken no chances with numbers. And yet, Ahsoka saw none of her people amid the casualties. She smiled grimly. “Always coming up a little short, Arihnda.”

Also, the composition of the forces seemed off. On her way in, there’d been no outer sentries or air patrols. She’d encountered no recon, tech, ordinance, or any other specialists inside the base either. Thus far, there’d only been rank-and-file city soldiers. Competent enough for patrolling citizenry but certainly not hardened warriors. Ahsoka thought it a rather foolish blunder. Pryce had evidently believed overwhelming them with numbers would win the day. Whether it proved true or not, the woman’s overconfidence would cost her a great many resources.

Ahead of her, a group of enemies emerged from a storage area. Focused on wherever they were headed, no one looked back to notice her. Their sergeant barked, “Double time to the command hub! The terrorist scum won’t escape us this time.”

Pumping her legs into a sprint, Ahsoka called, “We prefer revolutionary scum.”

They spun around. Rifles flew up and began firing wildly as she bore down on their position.

Deflecting their panicked shots with ease, she reached the unmoving block in a matter of seconds. “Thank you for your cooperation.” With a few thrusts of her blade, she neutralized the entire squad and restarted her run.

Hearing massive levels of blaster fire, Ahsoka stopped outside the command hub and crept along the corridor wall until reaching it. Peeking around the door frame to assess the situation, she crushed fingers into her saber hilt.

There was a large open area surrounding the command center that served as a hub, leading off to various sections of the base. And it was a battlefield. At least two dozen enemies were barricaded behind stacks of metal crates on the west side. An unknown quantity of soldiers popped in and out of the east passageway that led to the staff quarters, taking shots in a constant rotation. Barriss and Luminara were positioned in the middle of the space, blocking hits from the opposing groups at a ridiculous rate. Padmé had taken cover between them and was picking off any soldier that dared stay in the open for too long. Ahsoka wasn’t surprised that the woman knew how to effectively fight alongside Jedi, but their fluidic harmony was more than impressive.

Movement flashed in her peripheral vision, and Ahsoka squinted at the blast door opposite her position that shouldn’t be open. It protected a reinforced shelter and escape route running along the rear of the command center, a safety feature built into warehouses handling volatile inventory. However, they never used it. She could just make out what looked like Petyr, Lu, and maybe Tora fighting hand-to-hand with enemy combatants.

Then, Ahsoka spotted something that set her teeth on edge. Standing inside the front entrance of the command center, ensconced behind the orange security field with a smug expression, was the adversary she wanted dead for far too many reasons.

“Focus, Tano. You’ll get your chance to deal with the able Arihnda.” She scanned around the chaos once more. The east group first? What if B’asia was in their quarters? Her heart rate sped up at the thought. “Don’t be stupid. She probably hid at the first sign of trouble.”

Wait. In case of a raid, they’d trained B’asia to go to the safest place. The only location that had a shielded security lockdown and an alternate escape route. The command center. “No, no, no…” Stepping back, Ahsoka siphoned rapid breaths. How long before Pryce’s troops made it to the hub? Would her niece have had time to get there? Was there anywhere to hide inside the space? Could she have escaped before Pryce engaged the field? To where with invading forces pouring into the area? If Pryce had found her— “Control!”

Putting a chokehold on the writhing panic, she talked sense into herself. “Worrying is pointless. Pay attention to what’s in front of you. Where B’asia is doesn’t make a damn bit of difference if you don’t win this fight.” Her muscles gave a final spasm and then stilled once more.

_A dry voice echoed in her mind. ‘Good. Now, do you plan on participating in this battle to the death?’_

_‘Hmm… I’ll give your request due consideration, Escort. Would you prefer a patented Tano-distraction or a flashy charge into the fray?’_

_‘Why can’t it be both, my badass princess?’_

Ahsoka smirked. “Fair.” She straightened, lifted her saber, and simply stepped out into the open. “Hello, Arihnda. Miss me?”

Pryce jerked toward her. Eyes widening, she barked, “It’s the imposter! Red priority! Take her!” Glancing at something behind her in the command center, she scurried out of sight.

Every enemy blaster swung toward Ahsoka. She instantly vaulted into a corkscrewing leap and drew their fire. Knocking a few close shots away, she hit the ground and used the momentum to launch herself into another rotation in the other direction. As they continued their useless chase of her body through the air, Luminara, Barriss, and Padmé took the opening. The women split off and rushed the opposing groups. Realizing their mistake, the soldiers switched focus to the incoming attackers. But it was too late.

By the time Ahsoka landed her final spin, Luminara and Padmé had vanished after the larger group of soldiers, who’d fallen back into the east corridor. Meanwhile, Barriss was slashing through the western faction with an efficiency that Ahsoka always found both beautiful and terrifying.

As she sent crates flying into a clump of enemies, Barriss looked over at her. “Took long enough, Princess.”

Heading toward the command center, Ahsoka grinned. “Well, you know, I couldn’t find an entrance I really liked…” She blocked a few stray bolts ricocheting from the east corridor. “... with enough awe-inducing moves and the right level of badassery.”

Barriss rolled her eyes as she returned attention to the remaining enemies, who were shooting uselessly at her as they backed across the space.

A couple of soldiers who’d escaped Luminara and Padmé made a mad dash out of the east passage. Upon spotting her, they stopped in their tracks. Ahsoka quirked an eyebrow at them. “Yes?”

They glanced at each other and then threw down their weapons, two sets of hands flying up.

Ahsoka flicked her blade at the main exit. “I suggest you find a new profession. Because if I see you again, you won’t need one at all.” They gulped and fled as fast as their feet would carry them.

Hub now clear of crossfire, Ahsoka jogged to the override box on the far wall. Crossing her fingers, she input her command code. There was a crackling hiss in her montrals as the security field dropped behind her. “Didn’t bother to wipe the override codes, Arihnda? Tsk, tsk.”

Brandishing her saber, Ahsoka charged into the command center and then skidded to a halt. Her lungs choked, images from the not distant past invading her mind. No. Ahsoka worked to ground herself and stay in this moment. Visions didn’t control her life. She did. And, whatever it took, Ahsoka Tano wouldn’t let this vision become a reality.

Petyr was standing in the opposing doorway, eyes strafing across everything as if looking for options. His team had apparently defeated the enemies in the back corridor. When the shield dropped, he must have decided to block Pryce’s escape route. But he was just as helpless as Ahsoka.

Because at this moment an unprotected B’asia was pressed against the left wall, staring down the barrel of a blaster pistol.

“Ah, what joy is mine…” a voice dripping with scorn remarked. “The Lost Princess has decided to grace me with her mythical presence. How ever will I bear the honor?” Keeping her weapon trained on B’asia, Pryce added languidly, “Oh, and don’t move. Unless you want to lose the last remaining member of your family.”

Prying her gaze off the weapon, B’asia switched it to Ahsoka. “I’m sorry. I tried to get away, but—”

“Shut up, brat,” Pryce snapped. “I’m sick of your nonsense. You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you when you tried that pitiful little spinning kick.” Returning attention to Ahsoka, she clucked her tongue. “You know, I thought at least one of you might have broken the family mold. But no. Weaklings from first to last, it seems.”

The ball of heat simmered in her chest as Ahsoka tightened the grip on her saber. Forcing a calm tone, she addressed her niece, “It’s not your fault. You did what you were supposed to do. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be ok.”

The girl’s posture straightened, and she flashed an almost cocky grin. “I know. I told box-faced lady you could take her out blindfolded, but she didn’t believe me.”

Pryce growled, trigger finger twitching. Ahsoka put in quickly, “Why Governor Pryce, it’s as if you don’t respect me.” Then, she shot her niece a warning look.

That successfully redirected the woman’s wrath back to her. “How perceptive, Princess.” Petyr had edged closer to B’asia’s position during their exchange. He froze as Pryce noticed him. “Not moving applies to minions as well, scum. Either of you so much as scratch an itch, she dies. Speaking of, throw your weapons on the floor.”

Steadying her nerves, Ahsoka tossed her saber away. Could she tackle Pryce fast enough? Probably not. Bring the ceiling down on her head? Too slow. Force push her blaster away at the exact right moment? Risky. And the consequences of failure were unacceptable.

“Still a child fighting a reality she can’t grasp,” Pryce scoffed. “I would give you marks for consistency if it weren’t so pathetic. Did you honestly believe you had a chance to overthrow Dooku? You can’t even beat me.”

Ahsoka clipped, “What do you think is going to happen here, Arihnda? Your troops are defeated. You have no exit strategy. You’ll only get one shot at any of us, and it’ll take more than that to stop me. Your options are surrender or die. And if you kill my niece in the process, I promise you, the torture you inflicted on me will be a mere shadow of what I’ll inflict on you.”

Her upper lip curled. “Always talking big with nothing to show for it. Here is what’s going to happen. Undo whatever you did to jam my communications and tell your rabble to call my reinforcements. Once you and your conspirators are in custody, I’ll consider letting the brat run for her life.”

“You can’t be serious. That’s your plan? I knew you were stupid, but not _that_ stupid.”

“Do keep it up, Princess. It’ll make everything more delicious when I present you to Lord Dooku. I can’t wait to watch him rip that mouth out of your screaming body. I’m seriously considering asking for one of your headtails. I’ll be named planetary governor after crushing your pitiful rebellion. Which one would look best mounted behind my new desk, do you think?”

Ahsoka cocked her head. “Let me get this straight. You lied to a Sith Lord about personally executing the sole remaining heir to his stolen throne, who then went on to incite an uprising against his rule. Now, you’re going to deliver this supposedly dead person to that same Sith Lord?” She snorted. “At least, I know you’ll be sharing my fate.”

Her expression pinched, eyes darting around. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

That’s when the pieces fell into place. Pryce had led the raid personally using only city soldiers she directly commanded. The lack of specialized troops or air support wasn’t strategy, it was necessity. She hadn’t reported finding the base. That meant no external backup or secondary plan. Pryce had intended to take her down in secret without Dooku ever discovering the truth. Except, her gambit had failed and she knew it. She was operating on desperation, like trapped prey thrashing around in a last ditch hope of an escape. And that made her just as unpredictable and dangerous.

Putting steel into her tone, Ahsoka provided one. “Here is what’s really going to happen, _Governor._ We both know you’ve lost the day. It’s time to cut your losses. There’s a door behind you. Go through it, and I’ll let you leave here alive. But if you even try to fire that blaster, you _will_ die.”

There was a harsh laugh. “You expect me to trust you?”

She shrugged. “I’m not like you, remember? Besides, do you have a choice?”

“Oh, there’s always a choice, little girl.” She glanced around the command center before grinding out, “Fine.” Jerking her head at Petyr, she said, “Over there, minion.” Lifting his hands, the man moved out of her path.

Pryce backed toward the rear exit, pistol on B’asia and eyes on Ahsoka. Under the guise of giving her clearance, Petyr inched closer to B’asia with each step the woman took. Ahsoka maintained a locked gaze on hers in hopes his movements would evade notice. He’d almost made it when their leeway ran out.

Reaching the doorway, Pryce tutted. “It appears I’m about to lose my leverage.” A cold grin jutted along the sharp lines of her face. “A final lesson in reality, Princess. When you’re in trouble, give your enemy something else to focus on.” As she turned to run, Pryce pulled the trigger.

The instant her finger depressed, Petyr threw himself between the incoming shot and B’asia. There was a loud grunt as the bolt thudded into his chest, and he crashed to the floor.

“No!” B’asia cried and ran to him.

Springing into action, Ahsoka called her saber and chased after the woman. No more. It was time for Arihnda Pryce to end.

Sprinting well ahead of her, Pryce glanced back. She shot over her shoulder, but Ahsoka deflected every bolt without losing a step. Still, Pryce was surprisingly fast and managed to maintain most of her lead. Within ten seconds, she’d hit the outer exit door.

Allowing her momentum to slow, Ahsoka redirected her focus and sent a massive Force push down the hall. As her opponent stumbled, Ahsoka kicked herself back into high gear.

Scrambling to her feet, Pryce backed down the corridor. She blasted increasingly desperate and useless shots at her.

Without even a pause as she reached the woman, Ahsoka snarled, “Tell Renking I said hello.” She swung her saber, and Arihnda Pryce’s head rolled across the floor.

_______

When Ahsoka reentered the command center, her heart dropped. A group of rebels had gathered around the downed Petyr, while Barriss ran a medscanner over his chest. B’asia was sitting by his side, Jessah on the other.

Jess used her sleeve to wipe sweat from his face. “Don’t worry, Daddy. You’re going to be fine.”

Raising a shaky hand, he laid it on her cheek. He tried to say something, but it turned into a gasp of pain instead.

Barriss finished her scan and then reviewed the results. She briefly closed her eyes and then looked at Petyr. The expression told Ahsoka what she didn’t want to know.

Petyr coughed. “How long?”

Closing her scanner, she answered quietly, “Maybe ten minutes at most. Your heart rate is already dropping. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he croaked, “More than I deserve.”

Barriss loaded a hypo. “This will at least help dull the pain.”

Sheathing her saber, Ahsoka took a deep breath and walked over. Kneeling beside Jess, she locked eyes with Petyr. “Thank you.”

The man shook his head. “Don’t. Did you get her?”

She nodded. “Governor Pryce won’t be hurting anyone else ever again.”

A satisfied smile spread across his face. “Good.” His expression turned distant. “For once, it ends as it should.”

B’asia looked between them all. “What’s going on?” A note of panic edged into her tone. “Why aren’t you treating him? Do you need me to get your supplies? What about Master Luminara? Will she know what to do?”

A subdued response came from the doorway. “I’m afraid there is nothing I, or anyone else, can do.”

B’asia jerked around to Luminara. “What do you—But Petyr’s going to be ok, right?” She twisted back to Barriss with a plaintive whisper, “Isn’t he?”

Barriss pulled the girl into her side and kissed the top of her head. Then, she met Jessah’s gaze. “I’m sorry, my little Jedi. Your father’s injury damaged two critical organs beyond repair. Togruta physiognomy has a—well, when they both stopped working, that caused other things to fail. His heart can’t pump enough blood to keep him alive without those things. It’s not possible to heal him.”

Jess flinched. “W-what? No, that’s not true. Jedi can do anything. They don’t give up! You fixed me. Why can’t you fix Daddy? Please!”

Ahsoka squeezed her shoulder, and the girl locked on her with a terrified desperation that should never be found in a child’s eyes. “P-please… help.”

The words dug into her heart like a dull blade. And there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to make it ok. Whether for good or ill, the foundation on which your reality rested was lost with your parents. Crossing that Rubicon meant nothing would ever be ok the same way again. “I’m so sorry, Jessah. There are some things in life we’re all powerless to stop, no matter who we are or how hard we try.”

Posture caving, Jess dropped her head with a broken cry.

“Hey, baby girl, look at me.” Petyr grasped at her arm and curled fingers around it. “Everybody goes one day or another. That’s the price of living we gotta pay. If it’s my time, it’s my time. The important part is going out the way ya want. And this is how I want.”

She buried her face in his shoulder. “It’s not how I want.”

The man kissed the top of her montrals. “I know. I do wish I coulda seen how beautiful you’ll be all grown up. Least now, though, you’ll get to grow up.”

There was only a muffled sob in response.

Still pressed against Barriss, B’asia stared at them. Then, she blurted, “You shouldn’t have jumped in front of me. Why did you do that?!”

Petyr grabbed her hand. “Cause I wanted you to grow up too. I already took the life you shoulda had. I damn sure wasn’t gonna let you lose this one too. Now, listen up. You ain’t ‘llowed to feel bad when I’m gone. Otherwise, I’ll tell your aunt not to let you drive no speeders on your own ‘til you’re sixty.”

Her lip trembled. She swallowed hard before pulling away from Barriss. Then, B’asia leaned over him with a crooked grin. “You just wait. I’m gonna build the fastest one ever. But it’ll be all smokey and make clanging sounds when it’s in high gear. Maybe I’ll chip the paint a bunch too. That way people will always underestimate it until I blow past them. I think I’ll name it ‘The Petyr’.”

He choked out a laugh. “That’s my wild child. Skid plenty of dirt around ole Pewtro’s garden while you’re at it.”

“Course,” she replied airily. “He won’t know what hit his rutabagas.” Her voice faltered as she planted a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you for teaching me I can do lots of stuff I didn't think I could. And for saving me. Both times.”

“Ah, see, you always got it wrong.” He tweaked her nose. “You saved me, Bay. So, don’t you forget it.” Petyr shifted attention to Ahsoka, eyes flicking to Jessah and then back.

Putting a hand on his arm, Ahsoka answered the implied request, “Don’t worry. She’ll want for nothing. I swear it.”

His body relaxed. “You always give too much for your own good, Princess. But since you ain’t ‘parently never stopping, how about one more? When you get that bastard, slice off a limb for me, huh?”

She chuckled. “It shall be done.”

He tried to grin, but a deep wince crossed his features. “Son of a Dooku, think I just lost another organ or something.” Inhaling a labored breath, he curled an arm around his daughter and nudged her. “Come on, brave girl. Chin up. Let me see your smile.”

Jess raised a tear-streaked face. She gazed down at her father and then straightened with a bright smile. “I love you, Daddy.”

The hawkish eyes took on a soft glow. “And I love you, my beautiful Jessah. You’ll be free soon. When it happens, make sure you live good.”

Her face tightened but there were no tears. “I promise. I’ll help people. Be strong and brave, like my Dad.”

“You already are.” He rolled a thumb over her chin. “And you better believe your mom, Jer, and me’ll be keeping a watch from wherever the Force puts us.”

Ahsoka saw the girl’s hands begin to tremble. Taking one, she held it.

The small fingers clenched hers and then steadied. Leaning down to kiss his cheek, Jess murmured, “Tell Mom and Jer I love them too.”

Petyr smiled. “We already know.” His body spasmed. Tensing his muscles, he raised a shaky hand and stroked her face. “Lit skies, you’re gonna be more amazing than a sunrise.”

He let his head fall back and blinked up at the ceiling, gaze going in and out of focus. “I did it.” His eyes darted around until they found Jessah. He kept them fixed on his daughter as they slowly closed. “Made things... right.”

Then, Petyr shuddered his final breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter both satisfied my sense of justice and also hurt my heart. It's a nice place inside Gabby's head. Sometimes, I even live there. 
> 
> Oh, but hey, I got a chapter done! Yes, only one. And a depressing one at that. Still, progress!


	24. Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you more than Palpatine loves a death star.  
> \--Ahsoka to Barriss, probably
> 
> [I can't bring myself to type the response from Barriss my brain supplied. However, it involves firing proton torpedoes. Into a small space. Which blows up. Oh, and ends with a breathy Princess. Ahem.]  
> Uh, right. What were we talking about? Oh, yes. New chapter! You may read now.

Ahsoka surveyed the back room. “You’re right. There’s enough space to create a usable command center.” She wouldn’t allow losing the base to derail their momentum. If they had to run a revolution from what used to be a dining room to end this, that’s exactly what they would do.

Barriss said, “I want to install the databank in the kitchen pantry, though.”

“Worried about nosy neighbors?”

“Yes. This residence is part of a community block, which presents the possibility of well-meaning welcoming committees and the like. We’ll play the part of polite yet standoffish arrivals, hopefully keeping drop-in visitors contained to the front room and unsuspicious. However, people have an unfortunate habit of doing exactly what you don’t want them to do. Making this area resemble a generic office space fits our cover of cut-rate commodities brokers should anyone get curious enough to peek.”

Ahsoka rapped knuckles against her leg. “I suppose. What about the rest of the place?”

“Adequate. There are rooms on the second floor we can utilize for quarters and a full basement for storage. The utility room also has a side entrance that’s obstructed by heavy fencing for more surreptitious comings and goings.”

“How many upstairs rooms? Do they have an egress?”

“Four and of course. B’asia and Jess can share the one next to ours. Those have a connecting low-slant roof. That leaves the opposite two for Padmé, Obi-Wan, and my Master.”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrows. “And who goes where? Or, more to the point, who goes with who?”

One side of her mouth edged up. “Oh, I’m not assigning them. They can figure out their own sleeping arrangements.”

She snorted. “I’m undecided on whether I want to witness that conversation.” Ahsoka walked through the double doors that led to the kitchen. “A little inconvenient if we need to run in here and pull something from the bank during planning sessions.” Opening the pantry, she assessed the ample space. “Guess we won’t have to put up with it for long, huh?”

There was no response, so she glanced back. Barriss was gazing out the kitchen window, telltale muscle in her jaw twitching.

Ahsoka curled fingers into her palms. They had a month left on their self-imposed deadline. Despite their recent losses, she was confident they would reach it. Commandeering a few replacement weapons shipments, linking their communication channels onto the same subwave frequency, and awaiting the right moment to strike were all that stood in their way. The looming question of after couldn’t be ignored much longer. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to address it. Ahsoka could barely handle contemplating Barriss’s probable answer, much less form an attack strategy to change it. Clearing her throat, she added, “We’ll make do.”

Scrubbing a hand over her face, Barriss nodded. “Hopefully, our unusual ‘family’ won’t raise too many suspicions.” A faint smile formed. “Let’s remind the girls not to invite every kid in the neighborhood over.”

Laughing, she moved behind Barriss and slid arms around her stomach. Propping a chin on the woman’s shoulder, she said, “Can we find a little extra space? I have an addition to our household.”

“Uh-huh. I knew there was a reason you were agreeing with everything I say today. Softening me up before throwing a wrench into my plan?”

Ahsoka nuzzled lips against her neck. “Now, would I do that?”

Leaning back into the embrace, Barriss ran hands along the arms holding her. “Yes.”

She pecked her cheek. “It’s only that Deemoc should be released from the medcenter in a few days. I want him to stay with us.”

Barriss turned her head with a slight frown. “Justification?”

“You’ve redistributed our entire command staff. That creates logistical challenges.”

The woman exhaled. “We discussed this. We’re adapting a less than ideal space for a short period. Stationing them here, even if it were possible, would be more effort than it’s worth. A larger group would also attract scrutiny as would the constant flow of traffic. Plus, we don’t anticipate any more operations that require extensive on-site support. Integrating our best people into key cells will help ensure smooth execution of the coordinated takeover, as well.”

“I don’t disagree. Still, it will hinder our interim operations speed. I’m especially concerned about communications we can’t risk transmitting through the grid. That requires a skilled courier who knows every part of the city and can evade security checks. Deemoc has proven himself time and again. He’s also young enough to pass off as one of our adopted children. His erratic comings and goings would be chalked up to his age. Besides, he…”

Barriss gazed at her. “He what?”

She swallowed. “He has nowhere to go. His parents were killed by Dooku’s thugs before the revolution. Deemoc was left on his own until Sildon found him digging through a refuse pile for food and took him in. Now, he’s lost everything again.” Staring out the window, she watched the waning sun for a moment before saying quietly, “He’s alone.”

Shifting in Ahsoka’s arms to face her, Barriss rubbed her cheek. “Request approved.”

Grin rising, she tightened her embrace. “You’re too good to me.”

“I know.” Barriss twisted the end of a lek between her fingers. “Though, I suppose you’re worth it.”

Ahsoka traced a finger along the curve of her spine. “You _suppose_? Not very convincing, Escort.”

“Mmm… guess you’ve got some work to do then.”

Her grin stretched wider. “Always the non-believer.” Leaning in, Ahsoka dragged lips down her jawline and then murmured against the small of her throat, “We really should get back to the others.”

Barriss tipped her head back with a soft sigh. “Request denied.”

Flattening the woman against her, she wandered down to grip Barriss’s thighs. “So bossy.”

“Yes.” She wrapped arms around Ahsoka’s neck. “Now, shut up and make me a believer, Princess.”

Using her leverage to widen the woman’s stance, Ahsoka slid a hand between the back of her legs. Nipping at an earlobe, she breathed, “Ma’am, yes ma’am.” Drifting up the inside of her thigh, she felt her way along the pant’s seam until finding the spot concealing a very specific flap of skin.

The hindrance of clothing didn’t stop Barriss from stiffening with a mumbled gasp.

Ahsoka braced Barriss with one hand and then used the other to brush light strokes across the incredibly sensitive area. “What was that, my demanding escort? Did you need something?”

Her eyelids fluttered. “M-more…”

“I don’t know.” She jabbed her fingers into the skintight fabric. “I’m not convinced you actually want to believe.”

Barriss clung to her neck, balance faltering. “I d-do.” Her gaze lifted to Ahsoka’s, and she whispered, “Make me show you how much.”

Heat flushed her body, and she pushed Barriss against the kitchen counter. Delivering multiple kisses as she stripped her bodysuit with practiced efficiency, Ahsoka lifted the woman onto the countertop, leaving her legs sprawled over the edge. Spreading them apart, Ahsoka used her thumbs to tease swelling folds of skin.

Barriss groaned and stretched herself back. Hitting the wall behind her, she contorted her body into a half-sitting position. A sudden spasm sent her teetering sideways. Clutching at the sink faucet to steady herself, she gripped it with a trembling hand. “D-don’t stop…”

Dipping fingers in and out of Barriss, Ahsoka asked, “Will you make it worth my while?”

Laboring breaths, Barriss nodded vigorously.

Removing her hands, she hummed. “I shall consider appeasing your request in due time, Escort.”

Barriss reached toward her and begged, “Please, Soka. Don’t stop. I’ll do anything you want. Please.”

Ahsoka’s stomach fluttered. “We’ll see about that.” Flicking her favorite flap at just the right angle, she watched the violent twitches. When the shudder passed, Ahsoka repeated the action but this time commanded, “Look at me.”

Glazed eyes focused on her. They rolled back in her head and then returned to hers as Ahsoka caused shudder after shudder. Barriss’s mouth parted, and escalating whines escaped until only a constant whimper remained.

Fire started to rage inside Ahsoka’s own body. Rubbing herself against a jutting edge of the counter, she groaned as a shot of pleasure coursed through her and released some of the pressure. Senses sharpening, she returned her full attention to Barriss. “I’m still not convinced.” Scrunching up a knuckle, Ahsoka pressed hard into her. “Are you sure you want to believe?”

Barriss seized up. “Yes-s-s—ergsh—yes!”

Shoving the woman’s legs wider, she rammed a tongue inside of her. Barriss convulsed, and Ahsoka raised her head. “You’re not looking at me.”

Her gaze snapped back to Ahsoka. “S-sorry—won’t again.”

Flicking out her tongue intermittently to keep Barriss on the edge, she maintained eye contact. “What else are you gonna do to show me?”

Exhaling in erratic spurts, she croaked, “What do you… w-want?”

Pausing to suck, she waited for the arcing shudder before pulling out. Barriss was still fixed on her this time, clearly struggling to keep her head from lolling. Ahsoka gave her an extra lick. “Good.” Using a thumb to maintain steady stimulation, she ordered, “Tell me a secret.”

Her eyes bulged. “What kind?”

She scraped nails across her inflamed skin. “Something you don’t want to tell me.”

Barriss shivered and then gulped multiple breaths. Finally, she rasped, “I’m s-scared.”

Ahsoka’s rhythm hitched at the unexpected confession. Slowing her touch to a soothing cadence, she murmured, “Of what?”

Tears formed in the intense blue and then a choked response came. “The end.”

A lump formed in her throat. “Then, don’t let it end.” Shifting up, she leaned across the counter and pressed lips against hers. Slender hands lifted to grip her cheeks, and Barriss hung onto her lips as if they might vanish. Ahsoka soon forgot to maintain her command and raised her own hands to hold Barriss’s face as they fell into a never-ending kiss.

Even when a lack of proper air and cramped muscles forced a stop, Barriss didn’t let go. Laying her forehead against Ahsoka’s, she exhaled shaky pants. “Make me believe it’ll be ok, Ahsoka.”

Her heart throbbed in her chest. She didn’t know how. Circling thumbs over her cheeks, Ahsoka almost pleaded, “Tell me how. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

Barriss squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t know how.” After a long silence, filled with nothing but their unsteady breathing, her eyes flipped open and locked on Ahsoka’s. “Finish what you started, Princess.”

She stared uncertainly for a few moments before deciding to let the hovering cloud pass for the present. Ahsoka delivered a quick kiss and then slid back down. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.” Flashing her A+, she drove a hard thrust of her tongue into Barriss.

There was a strangled gasp, and Barriss flattened palms on the counter. Within seconds, the woman was once again putty in her hands. Intensity overtook any desire for games, and Ahsoka began digging further inside her, not letting up.

Barriss’s body writhed underneath her, and Ahsoka clamped elbows down on the quivering thighs to hold her in place. Using a thumb and forefinger, she twisted the sensitive flap as her tongue continued its work.

Moans rolled out of Barriss, soon reaching a fever pitch. “S-Soka… tell me you… l-love me.”

Jerking up, Ahsoka found eyes that had a desperate quality she’d never seen in them. Swallowing several times, she said hoarsely, “I don’t just love you, Barriss Offee. I _belong_ to you.”

Barriss blinked rapidly and then collapsed back with a broken cry. “Please, don’t stop.”

Diving back into her, Ahsoka sucked faster, thrust harder, and squeezed tighter. The heat burned into a frenzy. She couldn’t stop. She had to make her believe it.

As Ahsoka elicited wild cries from the woman she loved, she prayed it wouldn’t be the last time.

_______

They finished arranging the second-hand couch in the front room, and Obi-Wan commented, “Please, tell me none of us have to sleep on this monstrosity. I get a crick in my back just looking at it.”

Barriss side-eyed Ahsoka before answering, “Oh, that’s entirely up to you three. The girls are sharing a room. We’re sharing a room. I’m converting the utility room for Deemoc. That leaves two bedrooms up for grabs.”

Luminara, Padmé, and Obi-Wan glanced at each other. Then, the man said, “I take that to mean we are supposed to fight it out.”

Barriss blinked innocently. “I’m sure two Jedi Masters and a Galactic Senator should have no problem coming to a mutually beneficial agreement on their living arrangements.”

Ahsoka held back a snort but apparently didn’t disguise her amusement well enough as Padmé shot a look in her direction.

Luminara cleared her throat. “I can utilize this space. It is perfectly serviceable.”

Padmé blew out a breath. “There’s no need for anyone to be uncomfortable. Since Obi-Wan often accompanies Ahsoka on night missions, I propose we give him the single.” A faint note of amusement snuck into her tone. “His version of not waking people leaves much to be desired.”

The man harrumphed. “I can be quiet.”

She cocked her head. “You keep believing that, my dear.” Addressing Luminara, she continued, “Us sharing a room is the most logical option to prevent disruption. Besides, Obi-Wan has a tendency to sleep outside of doors when he’s afraid of waking people.”

He threw hands in the air. “First, I’m a wampa crashing around the place and now I sacrifice my own comfort for others. Make up your mind, Senator.”

Padmé sniffed. “No one said you weren’t an enigma of a man, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Lips twitching, he brushed a wrinkle from his tunic. “Yes, well, I hear mystery is the spice of life.”

She rolled her eyes and then returned attention to Luminara. “Any objections?”

The other woman gazed at her. Then, she turned to Obi-Wan. “Do you concur with the Senator’s assessment, Master Kenobi?”

He glanced between them and then coughed. “Um, yes. I think that arrangement makes the most sense and ensures we all get appropriate rest.”

Folding hands in front of her, Luminara looked away. “Very well.”

“It’s decided, then.” Padmé fiddled with a metal circlet attached to her upper arm before adding in a softer tone, “I’ll try not to step on your toes.”

There was only a curt nod in response.

Obi-Wan rocked on the balls of his feet with a much too bright, “Great. Glad everything is settled.”

Both women looked at him with expressions that Ahsoka took to mean absolutely nothing was settled. Then, Luminara abruptly walked toward the hallway. “If you’ll excuse me, I need some water.”

As she vanished, Padmé turned to Obi-Wan. “This is getting ridiculous. Are you going to do something about this situation or not?”

He stiffened, casting a look toward Ahsoka and Barriss. “Now isn’t an appropriate time to have this discussion.”

The woman ground her teeth. “It never is.” Then, she spun on her heel and stalked out of the room.

Wishing she actually _hadn’t_ been here to witness the conversation, Ahsoka gave him an awkward smile. “So, that went… well.”

Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead. “It always does.”

Barriss put in, “Can we, erm, provide any help?”

He looked up with a weary expression. “Not unless you know how to convince someone of something they refuse to believe.”

Ahsoka blinked, gaze darting to Barriss and then back. She replied with an undercurrent of anger she didn’t realize was there. “Afraid not. But if you figure out an answer, let me know.”

Barriss flinched, lines of her face hardening. “Perhaps, they know what they can handle better than you do.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows shot up. He glanced between them and then sighed. “Now, where have I heard that before?” His gaze grew distant. “Maybe it’s time to accept reality.”

Grimacing, Barriss crossed the room and laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—that wasn’t very helpful of me.”

The man returned a wan smile. “Actually, it was.” Patting her hand, he nodded to Ahsoka and then strode from the room.

An uncomfortable silence fell, and Barriss fixed on the rug. “Ahsoka, it’s difficult to—”

Whatever she was going to say died on her lips as an excited B’asia raced in. “Which room is ours?” She tugged on Barriss’s arm. “Can Jess and I put extra stuff in it?”

As Barriss listened to the recitation of how they wanted to decorate, Ahsoka’s attention wandered to Jessah. The girl was pretending to be interested in the molding, while twitchy fingers rolled the hem of her tunic.

Ahsoka walked over and nudged her arm. “Hey, you. Doing ok?”

Her eyes tightened. “Course. I’m fine.”

She chewed her lip with no idea how to make it better. Maybe she only needed to communicate one message right now. Reaching up, she brushed tentative fingers across the small montrals. “I understand.”

Jess tilted her head into the touch, and Ahsoka settled into a light stroke. Most Togruta had an ingrained need for physical contact, but montrals were highly individual. They were incredibly sensitive to vibration. Various combinations of pitch, speed, and pressure could elicit wildly different reactions, both emotionally and physically. Ahsoka tried to emulate the same gentle rhythm of loose circles over the tips her mother had used on hers. It had always produced a comforting sense of warmth. She suspected Jess shared the feeling. “It’ll be alright, my brave girl. Not today. Not even tomorrow. But it will. I promise.”

There was a shaky breath as the child leaned against her. “Ok.”

Ahsoka continued providing comfort and soon found a bit of her own. She’d learned many things amidst the loss and pain. Perhaps, one thing most of all. Whatever came, she could handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-oh! Did you miss me? I hope it was worth the extra week's wait at a minimum. 🤞
> 
> No idea on the next chapter's timeline, but I'm doing my best. Life refuses to cooperate. Doesn't it know I have a very important fanfic to write?! The nerve. In any case, we're close to finishing our tale. You might say this is the beginning of the end. Hahaha... Haha... Ha... why isn't anyone else laughing?


End file.
